Zombie Attack

Macseamusa

ok i recently saw both Dawn of the Deads, so i have zombies on the mind. What i'd like to do is make a zombie story on boards.ie It will be done like the other threads like the word assocaition and others. Ill type the first two sentences, lines, someone else comes along and writes what they think should come next. Have a MAX of 2 lines/sentences.
Try and keep it with the story and dont kill the main character off on the first page. I don't want to see this ' went to gun shop, got gun killed myself' or ' footbal is great, someones gay' or ' purple monkey dishwahsers, i woke up and it was all a dream' To my knowledge there are no gun shops in Ireland so we cannt go to the gun shop, we have to use whats around. We can move about, take it for granted that ur mates are dead and you are just trying to survive and to find more people. The zombies shall move at a slow pace, like they do in the orginal Dawn of the Dead. If it works out well, someone can print it out and have ther very own boards.ie zombie attack story.

The story starts off in my house( my idea, so my begining) in Cabinteely. In the main character's room there is a sword from the Nepoleonic wars, so we have a weapon. The main character has slept in so everyone is out.
Ok here goes, i hope this works


I woke with a start, someone was banging on the front door. I got dressed and made my way downstairs, where i could see people outside, infront of the door.

Lainey

i shouted out to them asking wht did they want?? one of them asked "can i have a loan of a cup of sugar" but i had a feeling they were only codding me................

Doctor J

I was disgusted, but not surprised to see my Ma parading naked on the lawn. I commanded her to come inside and prepare my breakfast, lest she feel my wrath on her naked cheeks...

Lainey

but do you think she would listen.. no, on she kept dancing, singing 'i feel happy', and every zombie in the town getting a proper good gawk at her.........

Doctor J

I tucked myself into my boxers and made haste towards the kitchen. The batteries on my wheelchair were almost flat so I plugged it in and got the Weetos

Macseamusa

not the kinda response i was looking for............

then jumped on my mum , who was still singing as they ate her shoulders. i ran out to help her.

Doctor J

which was incredible since my legs had been made useless in a car crash several years earlier...

Lainey

as soon as i did i realised it was all a trick and that brazen hussy who gave birth to me sat up and sang 'oh oh, your in trouble'.. i decided to leg it

Doctor J

I dragged myself back towards the kitchen and my wheelchair, I was sure the toast would be about ready to burn...

Lainey

Originally posted by Doctor J
I dragged myself back towards the kitchen and my wheelchair, I was sure the toast would be about ready to burn...

and if things werent bad enough, there was no butter.. i decided ma would get the hairy part of my hand, and soon.. there was a funky smell in the kitchen, enticing me in

fitz

And with that, I saw something that horrified me, and I lay there petrified to the core of my very sole. A scream escaped my lips as I sank back from the fridge; there was no orange juice!!!

Macseamusa

i decided that i had to do what had to be done. I jumped over the garden wall, smashed my neighbours window and stole their orange juice from their zombie infested house

Lainey

i decided there and then the only course of action was to phone hot mrs. jones next door and tell her i was on my way over... i knew exactly how to sort this mess out

fitz

Mrs Jones lay naked and waiting as I arrived.
I poured to orange juice all over her, proceeding to lick it from her supple flesh.

Doc

Sadly Ms Jones had been zombiefied I contemplated the moral implications of necrophilia but decided id best get down the shops and sort out some grub.

Lainey

just then her spandex clad husband walked in with a g string on his head.. i tried to look as casual as possible and blend into the bed.. luckily all he could focus on was the orange juice and i made my valiant escape

Doctor J

but not before I wiped myself clean on his pillow...

Lainey

the silk will never be the same again

Doctor J

but then again neither would I. My wheelchair bounced awkwardly down the stairs and I cracked my noggin on the wall. I was dazed for a moment, dazed and confused, but I quickly regained sense long enough to hit the brakes before I smashed into the front door...

Lainey

luckily the door was made entirely of candy floss and i chewed my way to freedom. but wait, what was looming outside for me??????????????

Doctor J

Though I would never call it luck, there was nothing outside the door but an eery silence.... and the mutilated corspe of the milkman. I noted with sadness how his face resembled mine...

Funky

Nothingness, the Langoliers had eaten it all. The End.

Doctor J

The end of all the candyfloss in the world was truly tragic. Somewhere, a young boy cried and his tears formed a river...

Big Ears

Idiot politicians who had come over from america , George Dubya being the leader .....................

Lainey

demanding that everybody wore hula skirts and itsy bitsy teeney weeney polka dot bikini's, all the time.......................

Doctor J

were being savaged by a pack of mutants out by the Greasy McLard drive-thru, or so it said on the radio... which came on as if by magic...

Lainey

or by remote control, in the hands of the bane of my life.. the life sucking wench, my ugly neighbour and childhood tormenter, AGNES

Doctor J

I had long realised the signifigance of her name spelled backwards and had oft slept with one eye open, so naturally I was tired. Tired and slightly emotional...

Macseamusa

i had had enough of Agnes's ways. Even though she was not a zombie i decided to kill her.... i got into my dads car

Doctor J

which had been converted to allow me to drive despite my disability, though it took me a while to get in and stow my wheelchair in the boot...

Macseamusa

i crawled into the front seat and stared the engine. I sped down the raod, killing any zombie in my path... until i had Agnes in my sights.. i reved the engine

Lainey

by the time i had done all this the wagon had me up by the ears and wigging the head off me, i screamed and screamed for mammy to help me but she just kept singing. naked.

Doctor J

I reallised my foot was stuck behind the brake, but only after the car had smashed into a school...

Macseamusa

i did what came naturally to me. I started to dance, as i intensified the dance Agnes fell off. It was time to finish her

Lainey

i took the shovel out of the car.. this woman was gonna be sorry... i lifted it up to do the damage when all of a sudden???? the smell.. the dope had farted

Macseamusa

As the zombies came ever closer, and my nose ever sorer(from the smell) i decided it wud be best to kill agnes another day

Lainey

i let her crawl home to tell her 10 brothers what i'd done.. it was time. Time to fight this fight one last time (i would fit into them levis by friday night)

Doctor J

but first I made sure to post my grandmother to France, as she requested before her cremation, which was the main cause of her death, but all that was behind me now...

Macseamusa

... its obvious that i shudnt have started this thread in after hours.. damm. where shud i restart this thread?
*sigh*
by this stage there were even more zombies around, i pushed past them as i ran to get home to arm myself

Lainey

i was ready.. ready to take over the world.. so i rang my friends pinky and the brain to assist me in the war against zombies

Doctor J

but yet how could I run, I was wheelchair bound for many a year... I pondered that as I collapsed to the ground...

Lainey

regretting the fact i never actually tried to walk.. hey, maybe thats the plan.. maybe that's what i should do.. that and grow myself a 3 ft long beard.. i set the wheels in motion

Doctor J

and rolled gently towards the library, I was too tired to push uphill towards the town hall...

Lainey

anyways, the smell of the auld lad at the desk in the town hall.. anyone, water, soap.. the silence was deafening as i rolled along, you could only hear the noise of some poor soul being tormented by the damned zombies

Cabaal

...there were making fun of the way he looked and all I could hear were his screams of terror as they started to tickle his feat, its was horrifying so I rolled as fast as I could down the hall...

Funky

The doctors told me 8 months ago i had 6 months to li.....


The End.

Macseamusa

/me smackes funky ........... stop it you

I kept rolling till i hit one of the book shelves. the noise of falling books attracted the zombies to my position. I struggled to my feet and climbed onto the top of the shelf.

Lainey

i was just gonna start crying again when i looked and saw a jelly tot stuck between two book.. yum yum.. i stuffed it down my neck case the zombie faces wanted it, no way man :mad:

Funky

I choke to death on the jelly tot.

The End.

Xcom2

The sugar in the jelly tot revives me and I crawl towards the outdoor's section of the library.I hastily build a fort of books!

Lainey

Originally posted by Funky
I choke to death on the jelly tot.

The End.

when i suddenly realise just as they are approaching.. it's all porn.. what can i do now