all time low

LegacyUser

i've realised i'm at an all time low in my life, i haven't felt like this for quite sometime. nothing is going right and i'm finding it hard to think straight, and am worried i'll do something stupid.
although i have great friends, i'm healthy , i can't seem to open up to anyone and talk about things.

anyone else feel like this?

Laguna

yeah man, it's called being pissed off. i go through quite long phases of it myself until i think "ah **** this" and try and occupy my mind as much as possible. try not to think to much (sounds stupid) but it works

Silent Grape

yeh, dont think too much about how things have gone wrong or how things shud be at all! keep ur mind busy by doing positive things, take advantage of ur great friends and keep busy by doing things with them. call the samaritans if ur getting serious about doing 'something stupid'

g'luck

BuffyBot

Call The Samaritans on 1850 60 90 90 if you feel you can't talk to your friends. There seems to be a lot of unnessecary stigma attached to calling them, which is a shame.

They are there to listen, not to judge and you might be surprised how helpful just talking about it all can be.

ravenhead

Try to be positive - we all get into a rutt at times -
What about family - maybe they might be easier to talk to??

Wolfie

Hi,

I think you should consider seeing a GP and possibly getting some anti-depressants. There could be a chemical reason why you feel the way you do, and you dont need to suffer from it any longer. Try to get some exercise, identify the things you enjoy doing and try to do them more. Conversely, identify anything causing you stress in your life and try to cut it out or cut it down. I've noticed that there are a lot of people on boards.ie who suffer from depression, and it is a terrible and worrying thing. I know that from experience. I also know that it gets better, so hang in there, and dont do anything stupid. Doing something stupid is not a practical solution, as who knows what tomorrow will bring, and things will get better. Set yourself goals, small at first, and go all out to achieve those goals. Tell yourself how great you are and how great you have done when you accomplish these goals. The positive reinforcement will help and inspire you to continue to achieve your goals, and change your mindset - meaning you will become happier and more satisfied. Dont lose heart easily, you need to persist at everything. Dont worry too much about the future, it may never happen. Look upon tomorrow as being the beginning of the new chapter in your life, and seize it.

Beruthiel, because there are regular posts on depression, I think it may be an idea to post a sticky with helpful information, perhaps some links and information; maybe there are GPs or psychologists on baords.ie who can offer practical solutions?

Atreides

Originally posted by confused
i've realised i'm at an all time low in my life, i haven't felt like this for quite sometime. nothing is going right and i'm finding it hard to think straight, and am worried i'll do something stupid.
although i have great friends, i'm healthy , i can't seem to open up to anyone and talk about things.

anyone else feel like this?

Maybe its because their opinions matter to much to you, that you have a problem opening up. My advice is even if you don't want to open up let your friends know there is something up, might be there to stop you doing something stupid then, even if they don't know whats going on fully.

SprostonGreen

Yep, I go through that every once and a while. You get through it eventually, I could use a hundred and one sayings and phrases, "rough with the smooth" etc, but the reality is, it wont last long.

You'll look back on this period in the future as a stronger person.

deimos

I am just over the second lowest point I have ever been through in my life.... I am doing my lc.

There about 4 weeks ago I realised that I don't have anything good to look forward to really. After the leaving cert I am going to be in hospital for 2 weeks then confinded to my room for another 3 or so weeks. The day I get my results I am going to be asked "could you have not done better?" (no matter what I get). Then I will hit college to re-discover that I have no woman skills, I am a nervous **** and I will never end up with anybody,

but somehow I feel happy today knowing all this, nothing around me has changed. I go through stages of depression every now and again.... I am actually begenning to think nothing causes it, its just some natural cycle..........

As for me and most around me it seems to finally go away, at least know your not the only one.......

Bicky

Originally posted by Wolfie
I've noticed that there are a lot of people on boards.ie who suffer from depression, and it is a terrible and worrying thing

I think everybody gets depressed. Its just easier to talk about it on boards.

deimos

true, sometimes you feel more comfortable around people you don't know with certain things.......

Emboss

Originally posted by confused
i've realised i'm at an all time low in my life, i haven't felt like this for quite sometime. nothing is going right and i'm finding it hard to think straight, and am worried i'll do something stupid.
although i have great friends, i'm healthy , i can't seem to open up to anyone and talk about things.

anyone else feel like this?

It's called being Irish

Silent Grape

theres a difference between feeling depressed and actually being depressed.

go to ur doctor to clear it up. dont just hop onto the anti-d's because the doc suggests it. if the doc says u may have depression, then ask to see a psychiatrist. too many docs just hand out anti -d's willy nilly, u probably just a confidence boost and to sort ur life out. counsellings always gud for that.

banquo

if you're in college than free student counselling should be available. if, however, you think that you're not just feeling depressed but are actually depressed then go see a psychologist.

also count your blessings - i find that helps.

try talking to your friends - if you find that any of them are especially open people then talk to them; you'd be amazed at jsut how similiar everyone feels on the inside. maybe get them drunk first.

if anyone or anything is especially annoying you either tell them to f*** off or learn to live with them; nothing inbetween works (believe me).

if you're seriously thinking of attending some kind of counselling (which isnt really a big deal at all) then PM me - i know a few good 'uns.

Michelangelo

I would have thought if you can not tell friends/family members how you are feeling, then how the **** can you tell samaritans or a doctor or a counsellor or something? Isn't it like a million times harder?

I can't really help you. I was just wondering.

Good luck though buddy.

banquo

nah its the opposite. its a lot easier to tell a complete stranger your problems then to someone u know really well. also counsellers are taught to make their office feel kinda like a private and insulated 'safe place' (hippy-sounding as it is) so that people feel more confident that nothing they say will leave that room.

words of encouragement, brother!:rolleyes:

Michelangelo

I wouldn't be able to tell a counsellor or any stranger I didn't know my problems of mine if I had them. Not a chance. Jesus, that would make me feel so horrible. It would be worse than a job interview ffs.

banquo

really? hmm. we're all different i guess.

although its not like "hi Im rob and im GOING TO KILL MYSELF AAAHH"... you build up trust over a few weeks before you go into the big stuff. mind u it varies from person to person..

Michelangelo

This is fascinating.

What about friends? How do you build up trust with them?

banquo

first things first: mich ur avatar rocks!


in friendship, trust depends on two things: length of time you've been friends, and strength of friendship. these two things make up the level of security you feel in a friend. think of them as a safe: you can literally 'store more things' in someone you know better.

in counselling, the person is paying 100% attention, without any judgement. naturally you dont jump into the deep stuff right away; you'd tell them about your day or something, and their job is to react warm and welcoming to almost anything you say. then the patient starts thinking 'this guys alright - i'll keep going', and out comes the big stuff.

mostly what a counseller (and not a psychologist) woudl do is called 'emphatetic listening" - they literally just repeat back what you say in a different tone of voice e.g.

John: its been such a bad week
Counsellor: .. bad...
John: at work especially..
Counsellor: yeah, work is often hard..


all the while they're doodling or something. many fine artists have come out of hte profession...

banquo

haven't felt like this for quite sometime

back on topic.. didnt notice this part before - when was the last time you felt this bad? or very bad at all?

how do u feel about yourself in specific areas? i mean looks, brains, lifestyle, future, etc?

Wolfie

Originally posted by Bicky
I think everybody gets depressed. Its just easier to talk about it on boards.

Perhaps, or perhaps the demographic of boards users have problems relating to people and suffer inferiority complexes. Its true of regular PC users in general, that they have social problems.

Since there are so many depressed people seeking help here, I think it makes sense to provide a sticky with some suggestions. I know I have sent 3 different responses on how to deal with depression in the last month or two.

Another philisophical question I have been asking myself lately is whether the decline in religious beliefs or spirituality and depression are linked. I suspect that if you studied the cross section of depressed people you would find a large proportion of atheists in that group.

banquo

wolfie makes a good point. im not gonna go into it, does has anyone read anything by Joseph Campbell, mythologist?

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Wolfie
Beruthiel, because there are regular posts on depression, I think it may be an idea to post a sticky with helpful information, perhaps some links and information; maybe there are GPs or psychologists on baords.ie who can offer practical solutions?

there is some info in the charter - here:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=57416

however, it's not a lot and if anyone wishes for me to add anything else which would be considered helpful, either let me know here or drop me a PM

anna

Calibos

Another philisophical question I have been asking myself lately is whether the decline in religious beliefs or spirituality and depression are linked. I suspect that if you studied the cross section of depressed people you would find a large proportion of atheists in that group.

I think you would find the opposite. I hate that attitude. Someone asks you about your faith and you tell them you have none...."Oh how empty your life must be!".....eh no! My life is full and I live for every minute because I know its the only life I'll have so I had better make the most of it.

loismustdie

sorry if this is harsh and i'm not accusing threadstarter of this but it's impossible to be happy all the time and every1 has problems all the time some people can handle more than others and some people think they're depressed when in reality they should just put things into perspective. i'm not saying to look on the bright side or anything like it and i don't know your circumstances so again i really do apoplogise if i seem unsympathetic where sympathy is deserved. i do empathise with you, feeling down is the most souldestroying feeling their is but you should really talk to some1 to at least find out what's going on in your head, gp is perfect candidate.

loismustdie

also the fact that you say you 've felt like this before should indicate tha yo'll get better and the fact that you aknowledge that everything's fine. it's not unheard of for people to over-analyse themselves and feel sorry for themselves, it's human nature and although we mightn't want to admit it i'd say we are all guilty of it at some stage(s) in our lives

Corksham

I know alot of people are offering advice like dont think about things too much or get a life or it'll pass and while these people are offering what they believe is genuine help a person who is depressed cannot snap out of it. I know, I was clinically depressed. If the person who started the thread (or anyone else)wants to PM me I can offer my experiences and advice on how to defeat depression.

ferdi

Originally posted by confused
anyone else feel like this?

all the time.

as for people telling you to call the samaratins and to go to you GP - screw that, this is part of the human condition - you can run from it by talking bull**** with counsilors or by getting drugs from the doc but at the end of the day we all have to deal with these feelings ourselves - alone. sorry but thats how it is.

BuffyBot

you can run from it by talking bull**** with counsilors or by getting drugs from the doc but at the end of the day we all have to deal with these feelings ourselves - alone. sorry but thats how it is.

Well, I've give you that the Samaritans, Counsellors, GP's etc cannot solve your problems for you (I don't think anyone claimed that they could), but as for dealing with them yourself - it isn't healthy to keep things bottled up. All those people can help you to solve your issues either by listening and letting you get your problems off your chest, or provide assistance in a professional capacity.

ferdi

i never said bottle it, i said deal with it yourself - no Counsellors or GP can ever understand whats going on in your head better than you.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by ferdi
you can run from it by talking bull**** with counsilors or by getting drugs from the doc but at the end of the day we all have to deal with these feelings ourselves - alone. sorry but thats how it is.

run?
don't you think that this could be the first step towards healing? perhaps these people can steer you in the right direction?
yes, perhaps you do have to deal with it at the end of the day, but at least you have given yourself the option of having tried all avenues

Silent Grape

i think ferdis a little misinformed when it comes to counsellers etc. the fact is that they are trained to understand whats going on in ur head. its their job to understand.

no counseller ive been to has 'doodled' while ive been with them. its a bit of a stange thing to do imo. writing notes after uve left is one thing, but doodling while in session?? ive never heard of this before, and i really doubt it happens very often.

paulthelegend

Ive never really felt like that before, apart from the leaving cert time, but ive had a few mates who have thought bout doing something the now regret even thinking about.

Best ways i can think of if you do not want to seek professional help is either just think of how many people are so worse off then yourself, its not being bad but id say the majority of people depressed have no reason to be. like imagin you were in a horrific crash and ended up completely paralysed, id be pritty feckin depressed then but for you to be able to use a computer and go on the net and type with what im guessin is your fingers... that already means your feckin blessed! and your a lucky bast*rd.

also mates who have been really down seem not to go out much, i dont mean clubbing i mean walking and excersise, when they started getting up and going for walks it clears there mind and helps you think straight then you will see that, the darkest part of the night is JUST before the dawn, things will get better and you will feel better theres no doubt about that

martarg

as for people telling you to call the samaratins and to go to you GP - screw that, this is part of the human condition - you can run from it by talking bull**** with counsilors or by getting drugs from the doc but at the end of the day we all have to deal with these feelings ourselves - alone. sorry but thats how it is.

I agree with most of what's been said so far. I am not depressive myself, and I hope it lasts, but I do have a long experience of contact with people who are suffering from depression... well, anyway, to the point... I think that once you have identified the fact that you are depressed, rather than feeling depressed, gps and counselling may be a big help. And certainly, if you ever thought of doing "something stupid", you had better take that seriously and seek help, Samaritans or whoever, before the thoughts turn into a definite plan.


Of course, as you say, you have to deal with the problem yourself, but that doesn't mean an expert cannot guide you in the process. Depressions are like many other bodily illnesses, a doctor cannot tell the patient to get well, but they can prescribe the right treatment so that the patient's efforts will be successful. Many people with depression feel that no-one understands them better than themselves and that they are alone dealing with it, but you will only be alone if you choose to be, or if you let your depression lead you down that path. Even if the doctor or counsellor does not have the magic wand, simply telling your thoughts to someone else instead of to yourself makes a huge difference. Most of the times it will make everything clearer. And if the listener is a good professional, they will know what questions to ask and what advice to offer, beyond "go out and take exercise". Of course you have to put yourself into the hands of someone you trust, not every counsellor works for every person, but if you do trust them, they are the safest way to get out of that....

banquo

screw this i'm off to stock up on happy pills.

Altheus

Would irresponsible thing to advise be smoke dope?

Personally speaking, and this is a one off scenario, smoking, not getting stoned, but casually smoking a joint releases a lot of good energy in me. In good company I'm out of my shell, on my own I find clarity. In general I've a postive outlook.

Really I suppose it boils down to the person. Personally I control my high. It's not a pressure, or a party thing. It does make me lazier than usual, but not sloth-like.

The hash we get here is relatively a weak buzz, perhaps due to the tobacco. It's mainly soap bar, so dont expect to be whacked out after a few pulls.

I don't know if it'll work for you, many consider it a crutch. I personally feel it's a thousand times greater than all the xanax, valuum, prozac or alcohol I can ever have.

banquo

maybe you need some good purgation - watch some really sad films; listen to some angst music (or the closest to angst music of the music you listen to now).

shakespeare had it down pretty well with 'this above all: to thine own self be true'. go a while without lying or decieveing yourself; when someone asks your opinion on something give them the honest answer, even if htey wont like it. expect the same from other people.

the most important thing is to take responsibility for your own happiness; if something is bringing you down, its only because that you give it permission to.
take charge.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Altheus
Would irresponsible thing to advise be smoke dope?

yes it would, not that I have anything against you understand, only that I don't believe he should look to it as a crutch

banquo

sounds to me like he needs some crumb of comfort. the other day i literally counted my blessings - felt pretty good afterwards.

only this morning i had so many awful things on my mind that i had to take a 2 mile walk around my area. about halfway round i saw a homeless guy sleeping outside the petrol staion, and it made me feel kinda lucky that i've still got a good few years until i've screwed up like that guy. count your blessings. it that dont work, count your hardships!

seaghdhas

Would it be a help to find the specific source of how you feel and resolve it. It is true that overthinking can be your worst enemy but thinking in the first place (trying not to sound condascending) is a help.

I found picking up a sociable hobby helps. It also helped when I realised that most people didn't automatically think worse of me. Therefore I didn't necessarilly have to justify all or any part of myself. Therefore I could relax into certain social situations a little easier.

But if someone has done something, that's a specific problem that will need to be talked to someone else about to whatever level of detail. Substitute names, change locations, but keep the actual crux of the problem intact. And get the other person view on it.

I recently had a friend do a thing (or a series of things) which brought up stuff I thought I had left behind. He's stopped doing these things and I now have to decide wheter to put this stuff back away to deal with later or deal with it now. The up side to later is that (once you honestly do deal with it later), you can get on as per normal more or less unhindered building up a buffer of life experience.