mixed signals and rare emotion

shinzon

have you ever being caught up in the most complicated situation you can imagine and that after 5 years your still in the dark about it.

I cant go into to much detail as the person im talking about reads here often.

Suffice to say she continues to surprise intrigue and captivate me like no other, i am attracted to her in a big way but she made clear the attraction is not mutual, yet what has happened recently has left a doubt in my mind, a small doubt but its there.

To pursue this would mean i would lose a great friend, weve bought each other presents, we remain in contact by e-mail etc etc, and today she offered to buy me something out of the blue, over e-mail not in person.

Weve become close and comfortable in each others company, she trusts me implicitly not to cross any boundary, and am happy to do so, so long as that boundary is clearly defined, which of late in my mind at least it hasnt.

its a thrill just to be around her, her tastes and mine jell, i just dunno what to do, i dont want to risk losing her companionship just cause me brains gone into overdrive

What would you lot do in this situation, theres a whole history i cant go into, ive been on a rollercoaster with this girl

Shin

Johnny Versace

Girls are so much smarter and clinical when it comes to relationships. She is not attracted to you. If she was, you would have slept with her by now.

I'm sorry...

MF2HD

This is true, you would KNOW if she really liked you i'm afraid.

btw give us a hint at what she offered to buy you thats thrown you into this spin???

shinzon

maybe i just needed to post this here to kind of get clarity on the situation in my own mind.

It was nothing much, just something i wanted for awhile now, what got me into a spin is that she offered to buy it in the first place

shin

User45701

Dont risk the friendship thats my advice.

UnrealQueen

Ok, she told you the attraction wasn't mutual, but something has happened lately that's put doubt in your mind. Maybe she changed her mind. We girls do that often. Don't know how you would approach it though.

shinzon

Originally posted by UnrealQueen
Ok, she told you the attraction wasn't mutual, but something has happened lately that's put doubt in your mind. Maybe she changed her mind. We girls do that often. Don't know how you would approach it though.

and therein lies my problem unfortunately

shin

Lafortezza

Originally posted by shinzon
I cant go into to much detail as the person im talking about reads here often.

Get yourself over to Personal Issues, post unreg, and give us the full details. You know you want to.

Lex_Diamonds

Too late, id say your snared already. She will read this and know!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Originally posted by lafortezza
Get yourself over to Personal Issues, post unreg, and give us the full details. You know you want to.

lol

donhughberto

Don't because you will lose what you have, take it from the king of mixed signals and lost friendships, only if she gives you the kick will you know!

Caliden

see how it turns out, you cant rush these things,
if you are still convinced in a weeks time and have gotten clear signals then maybe she wants more but again dont rush or force anything.

perhaps she just wants to have a close friend she can really rely on,
take it from me i was in a similar situation and made a huge mistake of mixed signals and only now have we started to talk again, that was 6months ago

Johnny Versace

Us blokes are retards when it comes to relationships.

Try to make a decision based on your brain, not your emotions. If she was interested you would know for certain already!

Ivan

If she's told you once already that the attraction isnt mutual, why not just ask her again?

Ask her has anything changed in her life that has caused her to change or mind, or something to that effect.

If she says no, ask why she decided to buy you whatever is she's buying you.

After she says no and your gutted for a week or two, get over it and move on.

Men have a tendency to develop a deep emotional bond with someone, especially when they are female & they think there is an attraction between you both.

Most of the time, its a woman taking advantage of you.

Maybe not in your case...

Sorry if this is harsh, but its based on experience.

Dave

I would suggest, from personal experience, don't. You would already be certain at this stage if she liked you.

shinzon

thx guys for all of the advice, i think ill hold on and see what develops if anything, mebbe she does just need a very good friend to rely on.

god i wish there was a flashing sign above a womans head to tell ye exactly what there thinking and feeling, make life a lot easier.

shin

meatball

Read:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

to understand what the problem is.

Read:

http://www.intellectualwhores.com

to learn how to solve it.

bdiddy

sh*t, dont want to say every1 else is wrong but if that was me(and it was once or twice) i'd go for it. It didnt always work out and did put a strain on things but if ur anything like me its probably werecking your head for a while now. Women are strange, strange creatures.

shinzon

I decided to let this girl buy me what she wanted to buy me in the first place, she seemed happy to do so, Im not going to jump into anything with her, im just going to adopt a wait and see approach

I dont want to risk a really good friendship just because my mind is perceiving signals that may not even be there

but thx for all of the advice


Shin

AL][EN

Can i ask you shinzon in all honesty did you post here just to get clarity on the situation for yourself or are you hoping that she'll read this thread (since you already mentioned that she does read/post allot here on boards and you didnt post unreg in PI) and talk to you about it?

Its just an obsveration thats all. Im actually in the same boat myself i have all these feelings for someone special in my life right now and i think she's confused about the whole thing and she doesnt know what to say to me about it so i do kinda know how you feel. So the best advise i can give you is just give it time. As unreal queen says women do sometimes change there minds sometimes but if she has told you that she just wants to be friends and continues to keep telling you this then im really sorry but you'll just have to find a way to move on no point waiting around for something that isnt going to happen

g'luck
hope it works out for you

shinzon

Originally posted by AL][EN
Can i ask you shinzon in all honesty did you post here just to get clarity on the situation for yourself or are you hoping that she'll read this thread (since you already mentioned that she does read/post allot here on boards and you didnt post unreg in PI) and talk to you about it?

Its just an obsveration thats all. Im actually in the same boat myself i have all these feelings for someone special in my life right now and i think she's confused about the whole thing and she doesnt know what to say to me about it so i do kinda know how you feel. So the best advise i can give you is just give it time. As unreal queen says women do sometimes change there minds sometimes but if she has told you that she just wants to be friends and continues to keep telling you this then im really sorry but you'll just have to find a way to move on no point waiting around for something that isnt going to happen

g'luck
hope it works out for you

Half and half m8 i suppose

Shin

Silent Bob

Originally posted by shinzon
god i wish there was a flashing sign above a womans head to tell ye exactly what there thinking and feeling, make life a lot easier.

You mean like in The Sims?

AL][EN

Originally posted by shinzon
Half and half m8 i suppose

Shin

yea thats what i figured aint love grand!!

g'luck anyway m8 i hope it works out for you

ferdi

ferdi's 5 steps to success:

1)get nekkid (bar a silken dressing gown)
2)light some candels
3)put on some barry white
4)sit the girl down infront of you
5)mime the words to songs like "just the way you are" while playing frantic air guitar

as you can tell, i'm a big hit with the ladies.

AL][EN

Originally posted by ferdi
ferdi's 5 steps to success:

1)get nekkid (bar a silken dressing gown)
2)light some candels
3)put on some barry white
4)sit the girl down infront of you
5)mime the words to songs like "just the way you are" while playing frantic air guitar

as you can tell, i'm a big hit with the ladies.

Thats what i've been missing all these years the 5 step plan!!! my god its so simple and yet flawless

/me runs home to practice his air gutaring

meatball

Try dry humping her leg.

Chad ghostal

Originally posted by meatball
Try dry humping her leg.

lmao ..the image is hilarious..

seriously though.. she is well aware that she made it clear to you that she is not interested,
so she should know that if she changed her mind she would have to make that perfectly clear aswell..

i think she would have put no doubt in your mind if she had changed your mind imo.

Pink Bunny

Get drunk, hint at how you really feel. If she responds-great. If not, you can blame it on the drink and pretend you don't even remember it the next day.

Dempsey

Hmmm, Page 1 is where all the good advice is and when ya come onto Page 2 its what you shouldnt do:D

I cant believe dry humping her leg isnt in the 5 step plan:eek:

She could have bought you that present as a token of appreciatation of yer friendship blah blah blah.....and so forth

LadyPenelope

quote:

---

Originally posted by shinzon
god i wish there was a flashing sign above a womans head to tell ye exactly what there thinking and feeling, make life a lot easier.

---

I wish there was a flashing sign like that above mens heads, that too would make life easier

AL][EN

Originally posted by LadyPenelope
quote: I wish there was a flashing sign like that above mens heads, that too would make life easier

yea but the problem with the is that the sign would constently flash between naked breasts and beer every 3 seconds

actually shin you can try pink bunny's idea go out and get drunk (good ole dutch courage) ask her how she feels while mentioning that your tanked up on vodka and red bull and see what she says if it dont work you can blame the booze.

LadyPenelope

quote:

---

Originally posted by Shinzon
yea but the problem with the is that the sign would constently flash between naked breasts and beer every 3 seconds

---

Yea, and have you given any thought to what the sign would be flashing for wimmen?

Anyway, yea i reckon have a couple of drinks, and tell her. Blame the booze afterwards if it all goes pear shaped. Although, btw, in my experience blokes tend to tell the truth and all their innermost feelings when a little bit drunk, and she will already know this ... so maybe you wont get away with it (if feelings not reciprocated) if you tell her you didnt mean it and that you were drunk :dunno:

Although as i said on a previous post, i told someone recently about my feelings for them, it was not reciprocated, but we are still really good friends. So hope it works out for you.

AL][EN

Originally posted by LadyPenelope
quote:
Yea, and have you given any thought to what the sign would be flashing for wimmen?

uuuummmmmm................. yes but most (actually - all) the women i know are a mystery and complicated to me. (isnt that the way you women like it tho being all alluring and mysterious keep us blokes guessing), that or i just dont know women very well. in any case i doubt i could decode the signs flashing over their heads anyway

but if you had to pressure me into an answer id say either chocolate or shopping. (not being sexist or anything i know not EVERY women likes to go shopping but it is a passtime (obsession actually) for most of the women i know)

LadyPenelope

originally posted by shinzon
but if you had to pressure me into an answer id say either chocolate or shopping. (not being sexist or anything i know not EVERY women likes to go shopping but it is a passtime (obsession actually) for most of the women i know)

No not shopping, not an obsession. Not chocolate. Perhaps you should have said champagne and cars.

Yea have to admit nothing like being mysterious and alluring.

Victor

Originally posted by shinzon
and today she offered to buy me something out of the blue

Was it a drink (yes women can their own drinks!!!) or a wedding ring? "Something" is a bit vague.

Simply do a "Jaysus, ye could give a guy the wrong idea!"