Leaving cert essay quotes

Sleipnir

Dunno if they're real.
Don't really care cos they're feckin funny!


Quotes from Leaving Cert Essays:

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing
legs.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking
alliances
like
underpants in a tumble dryer

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a
sneeze.


The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way
a
bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper
bag
filled with vegetable soup.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in
the
centre

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating
electric fan set on medium.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, kinda' like, sorta,
whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots
when you
fry them in hot grease

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains,
one
having

left Ballina at 6:36 pm travelling at 55 mph, the other
from
Claremorris 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop
after the
Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
who
had
also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a
thin
sheet
of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a
play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap,
only
one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil,
this
plan
just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating
for while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her bre@$ts heaving like a
student
on 50 cent-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck
either,
but
a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on
a
land
mine

or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who
can
tell
butter from the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" ad.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog
makes
just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no
one had
ever seen before.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one
slender
leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had
disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like
a
surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids
around
with their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he
heard
bells,

as
if she were a dustcart reversing.

She was as easy as the Independent crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature British beef.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a
first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple
it to
the wall.


Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two
other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

Len_007

A flood of memories cam rushing back of my English essay days

MrJoeSoap

If they are real, this country deserves a medal. Absolute genius, every one of them!

Cable

Got to give them attempt marks anyway, c'mon the originality of it all

Lafortezza

Originally posted by Sleipnir
Quotes from Leaving Cert Essays:

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Ballina at 6:36 pm travelling at 55 mph, the other from Claremorris 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph.

Best one imo

David-[RLD]-

those lines alone deserve an A
you don't even have to put them in essays 8-)

quank

Her vocabulary was as bad as, kinda' like, sorta,
whatever.

like laugh out loud

kmart6

How could you not give them an A,it wud'nt be right not to

Auburn

Brilliant!! These ones made me laugh the most:

Originally posted by Sleipnir

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

At least they made an effort. I remember teachers were always telling us to be descriptive. You can't deny that these are descriptive.

Ro: maaan!

Too many good ones in there to name any...

But this one's probably the best:

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

Töpher

Ah, read them many many times, but so so good!

Civilian_Target

Oh my God, it's been at least 6 months since I've broken down in tears of laugher like that. Absolute comic genius.

ferdi

pure class

penguinbloke

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple
it to
the wall.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil,
this
plan
just might work.

Pure Genius

dictatorcat

that was so funny i've almost bitten my finger off trying not to laugh out loud.

LoneGunM@n

I can't stop laughing @ It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

A's all around

acid

I've read that somewhere before, years ago, supposedly quotes from american schoolkids i think.
some of them are very funny though...

Lump

Originally posted by lafortezza
Best one imo

indeed I agree.... Classic


John

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by acid
I've read that somewhere before, years ago, supposedly quotes from american schoolkids i think

i have read them as quotes from A Level papers from England

but very funny all the same

Lady

brilliance pure brilliance

Barbie_666

INSPRIaTiONAL!!!!!!!!!

UnrealQueen

Very funny but also very familiar.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=124375&highlight=GCSE

Mutant_Fruit

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

This one HAS to get into my essay somehow, even if i just write it in the roughwork. Its genious

milltown

Originally posted by UnrealQueen
Very funny but also very familiar.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=124375&highlight=GCSE

Every time you make a post like that I get one step closer to snapping and pointing out where everything you post has been shown before. People in glass houses etc.

The essays had me roffling for a while tho'.

Senor_Fudge

ah man they're just priceless
thats the funniest thing ive read here id say

de5p0i1er

Where do they come up with the ppl who write these things.

Deadwing

Originally posted by Sleipnir

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck
either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a
landmine or something.
.

I think ill put that in my sig *L* Abolute class..i havent laughed as much in ages, cheers Selipnir

Agent Smith

they were class!


9.9/10

Noodles81

Bump

RichieO

Well dug up, makes Burke & Hare look like armatures...