Jay's Journey

Davey Devil

This is serious honest account of the experiences of one young man named Jay. He's a friend of mine from college. Last night we were studying for an ERP exam over messenger. He proceeded to interrupt our preparations with one of the finest stories ever told. I might add that young Jason is the slowest typist north of the Liffey. His 30 minute experience took him an hour an a half to type. And so it began:

Chapter 1: The Train Station

As I arrived at Dun Laoghaire station, the HSS had pulled in. The station was packed with knackered grafters on the way home after a hard day's grind.
As I scanned the area I clocked a couple of mots dressed to impress. You might say they were dressed like slappers but I have respect for the ladies who are giving me the green light to pass "go". So...I played it cool as you do. I counted 4 little beauties, oh the choice; I knew at least one of them would be mine.
My initial target was an obvious pick. She had a skirt on that was shorter than the width of my dart ticket. I now had a mission but need to put a plan into action. What better than the old walk man on ....but not really on trick. So there was me ear wiggin don’t you know, trying to pick up some info I could use down the line.
What's that crazy ass language they are speaking? That's not English is it? Ah they are Welsh girls direct from Hollyhead. Two of them couldn’t walk....don’t know if it was the drink or the big slapper boots they were wearing. I looked at the sign and it said HOWTH 10min - time for some Jay talkin. Yer one with the ticket skirt was looking gee eyed...always an easy target. So I slowly mooched my way over...putting myself within a distance she could see. I gave a little nod.....Just to see the reaction.
Bang. Instant reaction, I'm thinking, "God I'm good at this sh*t".

Chapter 2: First Contact

She said something like ..." hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii arrh yooou frum Dublin" or something to that effect.It took me a while to decode the message she had just sent so I played it safe and replied "yeah". So she said "thaaaats greeeaat meee and meee friends are over for the daaay to meeet someee Dublin lads" Well it didn't need a scientist to figure that out love. Then she turned to her mates one of who they had picked up....and says "thissss lad isss fromm Dublin." I was thinking like your in fu*kin Dublin, your gonna meet some people that fcuking live here.
At this stage I got up real close I discovered that this young one was not as attractive as I had previously thought. Well I lost my glasses so that’s my fault. The truth is she looked like a proper mutant. Immediately I switched my attentions to one of her friends. This new target was really nice looking, no mutant features on this mot ... so any way I looked down at the sign and it said HOWTH 7 mins,
so I still had a long time to kill so said shag it ...talk to the mutant and try to mooch over to the mate. The conversation raged on ...just had to nod most of the time as English obviously wasn’t her first language.
Next minute...BING BING.."Attention we would like to advise passengers that the next train to platform 1 is the 16:47 train to Maynooth. I’m thinkin - sweet this minger is wreckin my buzz, fcuk it I’m out of here and said “this in my train, see you now take care”. I figured Mutant was getting too attached and a shot at the nicer one wasn't looking too hopeful. Just as I thought I made a clean escape I discovered they followed me down the stairs one nearly killing me when she fell on her snot.
These Welsh bird obviously can't handle their gargle.
As you can imagine Mutant was on me like fly’s on sh*ite. Think this was her first time receiving any male attention. I said hi and he replied, I hadn't a clue about what he said, jeasus this lad speaks worse English than the Welsh slappers.Where's that universal translator when ye need it. At this point I'm thinking the fu*kin conversation on this train is going to be mighty. I look up and see the train coming, one of those old orange bangers. Stop ....the whole place slows down ....i look at Mutant...look at the train ..look at Mutant...look at the train. The train tracks are looking quite appealing at this stage but no, somehow I held back the temptation, took a deep breath and let the train pull into the station. I'm still wanting to lose these 3 bitches a mutant and a mad man who can't speak.. I make a dash...figure they could follow and would at least fall over if they tried, it could only improve the looks of most of them.
I take a sly look back, they haven't notice me gone and I jump on to the train.

Chapter 3: The Train Journey

The train was fairly empty at this stage I had the carriage to myself, oh but not for long. Well I'm sure you know but them old orange trains have no breaks between the carriages so it didn’t take long for the wolf pack to hunt me down. I was on the left hand side of the carriage, really high seats so you can’t see much but I could hear them - I could even smell them coming. Fear instantly shot through my body.
What’s that smell? cK one, I think, they had obviously had baths in it before hand. It was powerful, almost mind disabling kinda strong. The pungent aroma of cK one mixed with drink rendered my paralysed. I didn’t know what to do, the walk man was useless to me now, these slappers wouldn't care if I was listening to that so I had to think fast. Think Jay, think. I got it, that's the ticket. Maybe if I? .... Pretend to be asleep they will leave me alone. It's a cunning plan I thought. What are you thinking Jay, the CkOne has gone to yer head it's the worst plan ever, it will never work.
I just got on the train 20sec ago, they are not stupid. Quick plan B. Ah crap no time the smell is getting so close, I can almost taste it. Sleep it is, dam brain, I don’t know how I ever thought it would work but I wasn't accounting on them being as dumb as they look. I'm sitting there thinking, yes Jay you freakin genius they bought it, little did I know they had sat in the seats in front of me. So I'm there pretending to be asleep but I'm lucky enough that that they can't smell my fear. CkOne to the rescue. They are sitting there quiet as little mice waiting for me to make my move. Hovering like predators ready to pounce on their pray. I take a chance, one eye open, bingo the coast is clear. Jay you beaut, you did it, you out smarted those silly slappers - well wasn't that hard really considering the competition. So I just sit for a sec or 2.
Great...they are gone then just play it cool, crap, "ahhhhhHHHh he's awake!!!!":
Within a milli sec I have 3 around me. Mutant on my left wastes no time and whips her leg on top of mine. She had a mini on so was leaving nothing to the imagination
My word, I thought, maybe this isn't so bad after all, those legs and that package look at lot better than her face. I'm a shallow man, I’m prepared to avoid a mutant face if a bird has a tidy setup. Snap out of it Jay, you are better than this - I'm going for this nice bird. Targets set let's go for the kill. Little did she know I had become the predator and now she was the prey. The only problem was there was a table separating me and the cutie not forgetting Mutant was attracted to me like a frightening cancer. I'm thinking to myself, try to start a conversation and hope she can speak develop the ability to speak. Started with the small talk, "You over for the day then?"
Cutie cuts to the chase,” Do you have a girlfriend?"
I reply "no" of course hoping she isn't trying to set me up with the Mutent attached to me. She says,” Well are you looking for one?" Ho Ho, cha ching, I'm so in.
"Well not actively but I am open to offers". This is gold, where do I come up with this sh*it? My attention was drawn to the seats directly ahead. I can't see much because of those high chairs but I'm hearing all sorts. One of the other slappers and bogger boy seem to be getting on a treat. This is amazing really, I don’t know how they got past the communication barrier. Enough of them I'm open to offers remember. She seems excited by my bachelorism and asks again just to make sure. I give her the nod, was hardly going to repeat myself. She leans over the table revealing an ample handful right down her low cut top - real loose at the front, you can only imagine. I'm a single man, I take a look, it would be a sin not to. The purple bra is putting my head in a spin not to mention a sudden rush of blood to a certain area. It must have been a wonder one, cos them puppies were heaving. Previously the table was a hindrance but now it had become my saviour, because my little man was coming up for a look. With the blood leaving my head and entering my penis I said, "Have you got a boyfriend?"
She says,” Are you making an offer?" She said, "I might be, would you be interested?" I replied,” If you made an offer I might be?"
Silence, It was like the whole train stopped to see what would happen. You could have heard a pin drop. I look at her, she looks at me. She looks at her friend, her friend looks at me. Mutant's leg slowly starts to come off mine. The shackles have been broken. Mutant is out of the seat. I'm thinking YEAH BABY, come to Daddy Cutie.
To be continued ..... in the next thread

Davey Devil

Chapter 4: The Action

Just as things are really gonna hot up, attention is switched to the front seats.
Fcuk it's getting hot over there and the carriage is awash with filthy talk.
I hear "How big is it?" followed buy "Show me is it fat?" I'm thinking, I'm in the wrong friggen row here. I want to be up there. My disappointment was quickly forgotten as cutie repositions herself into the seat beside me. She's getting really turned on by all this filthy talk. More small talk followed but I became concerned about the 2 other slappers listening to our every word. Enough of this small talk, so I slide my hand onto her leg. The table has once again come to the rescue as the other slappers can't see what my hands were doing. She goes one better. Her hand is united with my crotch. If the little man wasn’t awake, he sure was now. The small talk continues, really just a smoke screen for the mates. Now I’m aware that we are on a public train here so I’m not getting to carried away. Her smooth rubbing was x-rated when you consider the surroundings, my attention to her legs gets interrupted as the two in the front row look over to the other mates and say "So you have a Johnny?"
I'm thinking I was getting on great but the other two are getting on like a house on fire. While all eyes were on the soon to be sexually active couple I see the opening that had presented itself infront of me. I'm on the fast track now..
I immediatley turn my attention to cutie. About to make a dive for her face when, BANG, INTERCEPTION, without a second thought she makes a lunge for me. Nearly takes my head clean off but I didn’t give a crap. We were both giving it socks, I’m throwing the whole shabang into this one. As I'm laying into yer one the copulating couple, connie in hand, leg it too that Jacks. Johnny in hand yer man and yer woman are off to the bogs. Just when I thought I'd seen it all Mutant says,” Can I join in?"
The mate shouts back "you can have him after me!!!" At this stage I know I am dealing with some really classy birds. Mutant replies,” No way I ain’t havin your sloppy seconds". Well at least she showed some sort of principles.
For a second I'm feeling jealous of the 2 in the jacks then I'm thinking- Well I have only been in a train toilet once and it was neither big nor clean. Then some old lad comes knocking on the jacks wanting to unload, should have seen the face on him when they both fall out of the jacks half naked, didn't take a genius to work out what was going on. Train pulls into Tara, I'm getting on great with this bird but
I have to get to work. Cutie invites me out for a drink but I had to decline and the way them birds were behaving you never know what they might be carrying.

Anyway she rang me this morning, missed the call. Do you think I should meet up with her again?

Here’s a pic to help you decide, plus Mutant as an added bonus.

Thanks for reading, that was Jay's story, 100% true, what a guy!!!!



Mutant



Cutie

ferdi

i like it.

rymus

that was entertaining...

If I was Jay I'd drop both of the nasty skanky bitches.. but if forced to choose twixt one or t'other, It'd have to be exhibit B, sorry, I mean "Cutie".

As for "should I meet up with her again?", I'd say sure why not! What have you got to lose? A little bit of fun is just that and the medical world has made great advances in treating STD's.

Dr. Dodger

yeh nothin to lose but your dick

are you mad, run man run for the hills

Winters

A legand of a story.
Was nearly laughing here in the collage labs, people were looking at me... :eek:

Also for Jay, why not if you need a quick fix?

NOTE TO SELF: Go to Dún Laoighre and hang around the DART station more.

Lafortezza

Originally posted by Winters
NOTE TO SELF: Go to Dún Laoighre and hang around the DART station more.

NOTE TO SELF: Go to Wales and act friendly with the locals.

Winters

Originally posted by lafortezza
NOTE TO SELF: Go to Wales and act friendly with the locals.

That would be a more logical plan and my first thought, BUT being a broke student there isint the funds to go across. Wait for them to arrive in Dublin legless, that way they have done most of the work [getting drunk & paying for the trip over]

SheroN

great thread!....he might as well meet up with cutie...

uberwolf

I rememeber the tale of mates of mine returning from a bike race in engerland, miss teh boat in Holyhead so are forced to entertain themselves in the locality for a while. In a disco bar and that, hmm, v.large girl sidles to one of them. Smooth talking she says you from Ireland? after a response in the affirmative she obviously believes she's in and dives in for the kill. To which my quick thinking mate responds,

wait for it

"listen ORCA, the sea is that way..." classic.
She sidled away, unhappy.

krattapopov

the only person i know who could get away with this behaviour is our jason... good work jay

i await to hear more of your adventures

hedgetrimmer

That's my sister!!!

Only kidding...what an odd thread...


Um, they look very young indeed, btw

smoke.me.a.kipper

entertaining story.

The_Goose

me wants more great story,

s8n

geat story....how does it end though???


***more pics wud be nice too***

(of cutie)

Dr. Loon

They are some ugly bitches. Where's your fúckin taste lads! Skangers.

uberwolf

no no, that second one looks like she has potential and also alarmingly familiar

Gummy Panda

Brillaint story!!

My mates had the same experience with some scouse girls (pity i was with someone at the time).

I would've done them both but I'm dead dirty, i am!!!

Standard Toaster

Excellent story!:p

Rabies

very good story.....

Dont Ban Me

Its a really simple answer, your human! You could be dead tomorrow, and in a life time the average male doenst get offers like this too often! So when given an inch you try for a mile!

i.e: Meet up with both of them at the same time! How often you going to get the chance?!

P.S: Bring camera, coz you'll need something to show the grandkids, look son this is a pic of me when I was younger, and I got a 3some! Now go do your grandpa proud!!



Go for it man!

IgnatiusJRiley

Rubbish

Dustaz

Call her you fool!!

If your worried about the slapper aspect, fear not. This is the reason condoms come in packs of 3. Triple bag it and your away in a hack.

This story really does re-inforce my opinion of welsh women and i have a fair amount of past experience with them. I swear they teach felatio in school there.