How to chat up a bird??

LegacyUser

Can anyone help because im totally useless.

Anytime i go into a pub or club i get my fair share of looks off girls that last just a second longer than they should so this tells me that while im no oil painting im no ugly b*stard either. I train really hard and must say i have a great body and always dress to show this off (sometimes subtly sometimes plain shaping). I find that after those looks lose eye contact they go straight to my chest and arms!

Either way i still get the looks but i just cant go over and talk to a girl because i dont know what to say!!

I must say i had terrible acne for years and so when all others were practising their chat up lines or what ever they use - i was at the bar getting hammered trying to pretend girls didnt exist because none would ever look at me. All thats changed now and i dont even drink that much anymore.

So can anyone (preferably a female reader) please tell me what to say or how to go about chatting up a girl. Now i dont want any god's gift on, saying that all he has to do is look at a girl and he has her in bed already. All i want is to be able to sustain a conversation without boring her to death.
How about good lines to break the ice?


Also while im here - girls do ye like muscles? What about shaved hair? I think part of my problem could be my combination of being fairly big with a shaved hear and goatee. Could this be intimidating?

Any way any help would be greatly appreciated!

koneko

Personally I don't like the big muscley types. A bit of muscle is great, but when you end up with that whole bulky look it just stops being attractive. Shaved head? Depends on the person. On some people it's really attractive, on others it just makes them look like scumbags.

Chat up lines don't work, just talk to them. Women are people too.

Imposter

Guy: "20 Ton Penguin"
Girl: "What?"
Guy: "Well, how else was i supposed to break the ice"

LegacyUser

Na im not massive like - but definitely stronger and way more toned than your average. About the same as a typical 6 foot bouncer.

anyways there's no way ican get any smaller now so that wont help.

Girls are people too i know but all i talk about and think about all day is my sport in which i really excel and is a massive part of my life. Thats all i seem to end up talking about with people.

You see any girl i talk to - i just end up having a serious conversation with her and even though its better than nothing, she invariably loses interest real fast. All my friends always seem to be joking and messin g with girls and they seem to succeed way more than me but when i try this approach i end up getting a slap!! even though i never mean to provoke.

oh i dunno - maybe i was meant to be alone

hedgetrimmer

"Would you like to go somewhere quieter and talk?"

I think for most people it doesn't matter what you say, as long as it's not offensive, it's more a case of showing you have to courage to approach them and say something.

Amz

Originally posted by koneko
Personally I don't like the big muscley types. A bit of muscle is great, but when you end up with that whole bulky look it just stops being attractive. Shaved head? Depends on the person. On some people it's really attractive, on others it just makes them look like scumbags.

Chat up lines don't work, just talk to them. Women are people too.

I concur.

SheroN

women are people?. Since when?

Trojan

Ok, but these are secret so don't tell anyone... "Hi" works excellently. "Hello" is also quite good. I occasionally use the double-whammy "Hi. How's it going?" for extra effect... get the picture? It ain't rocket science, don't worry too much about it. Just be confident like the boy said - that's the vital thing.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by SheroN
women are people?. Since when?

since the dawn of time!
I also, would advise just being yourself
tro's double whammy thingie should work perfectly, especially if it's done with a smile

Victor

The silliest one I've used (at a boards.ie beer) is "So are you another boards person?" She wasn't, but it broke the ice.

[edit] It helped to be among "familiar" people, which removed performance anxiety. [/edit]

Typedef

Casually sit on your BMW, sipping a White Wine spritzer outside Slapper Faced Jacks.


Who needs conversation?

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Typedef
Casually sit on your BMW, sipping a White Wine spritzer outside Slapper Faced Jacks

still single then Beths?

Villain

I find bars rather then night clubs are easier to chat to girls.

Just talk to them don't try to impress

Typedef

Originally posted by Beruthiel
still single then Beths?

Why feeling frisky.


Who needs fidelity?

Praetorian

No no no. Just dye your hair grey or slightly grey. Women are instantly attracted to the experienced looking, muscle bound hunks. Then all you have to do is say something corny like, 'How yuu (joo) doing suga'. I've witnessed this working lots of times. ...no I'm serious.

If you’re not willing to dye, then just be your self and chat about anything and everything. Don't needlessly show off. Try to be honest.

I'm sure some people won't agree, but there are looks leagues. You won't get your game in division 1 if you’re currently in division 3 or 4. Unless you’re exceptionally skilled, or your lucky enough to find a girl that doesn’t care what division you play in Sorry I’m thinking football at the moment.

Imposter

Originally posted by Praetorian
I'm sure some people won't agree, but there are looks leagues. You won't get your game in division 1 if you’re currently in division 3 or 4. Unless you’re exceptionally skilled, or your lucky enough to find a girl that doesn’t care what division you play in Sorry I’m thinking football at the moment.

Just to add to this analogy:
Most girls who are in Divisions 3 or 4 will usually be unemployed as their interest lies in divisions 1 and 2. Same for guys I suppose unless it's getting near the end of the season in which case they will be content with someone from the conference.:D

The Corinthian

I would mainly agree with koneko’s assertion that chat up lines don't work, and you should just go up and talk to them. Women are people too. But people are often shallow too. Just bare in that in mind.

If you approach a girl because you’re curious to see if she’s as nice to talk to as she is to look at, then you won’t have any problems. Anything you want to say to her will come naturally.

buddy

You have to be able to talk about more than sport, try to see what they like - music, movies, tv, lifestyle, work etc and talk about them.

Amz

Why not talk to them about sport if that's what they're into?

I've gone out with guys who've basically just talked about computers to me... now that's all well and good up to a point... i.e. when my eyes glaze over and I begin to wonder if Brad Pitt's rumoured B.O. problem is true...

I'd have been overjoyed if these guys had shown interest in the things I liked, but I never forced them to talk about sports/science or health despite the fact that that's what I'm studying and it's obviously a major part of my life...

Perhaps I should have hijacked the conversations more *shrug*

I do believe that you should show an interest in what she's interested in and she should do likewise. But don't hog the bloody conversation either!

Typedef

Amz....


I'm highly interested in the topic of Brad Pitt's BO....

Wanna go out sometime?

/

Amz

Jaysus Typie!
I didn't realise you were that desperate!!!

Unfortunately the issue of Brad Pitt's BO doesn't interest me in the slightest but it was a welcome dsitraction from whatever the fudge Mr X was yapping about at the time... Quite frankly Brad Pitt is not what I consider to be attractive so his BO problem is not exactly going to change my opinion of him.

*shrug*

Magic Monkey

Yah but Amz, no-one want's to talk to people who get the following:

A sports-scientist walks into a bar:
SS: "Can I have a glass of adenosine tri-phosphate please?"
Bartender: "Sure, that'll be 80p"



(Thank you New Scientist)

pigeonbutler

Hey, I know what you mean. I tend to get on grand with girls I'm somewhat familiar with or who I get talking to through mutual friends. By grand I don't mean pulling someone every night, more getting a fairly average success rate. But I never manage to go up a girl I like the look of but don't know from Eve. I don't know what holds me back, some of my friends will just go up and chat to anyone in a pub but no matter how many pints are in my belly I can't do it.

Amz

Originally posted by Magic Monkey
Yah but Amz, no-one want's to talk to people who get the following:

A sports-scientist walks into a bar:
SS: "Can I have a glass of adenosine tri-phosphate please?"
Bartender: "Sure, that'll be 80p"



(Thank you New Scientist)

*sigh*

Doodee

nerds

Wolfie

Originally posted by Clueless!
Na im not massive like - but definitely stronger and way more toned than your average. About the same as a typical 6 foot bouncer.

anyways there's no way ican get any smaller now so that wont help.

Girls are people too i know but all i talk about and think about all day is my sport in which i really excel and is a massive part of my life. Thats all i seem to end up talking about with people.

You see any girl i talk to - i just end up having a serious conversation with her and even though its better than nothing, she invariably loses interest real fast. All my friends always seem to be joking and messin g with girls and they seem to succeed way more than me but when i try this approach i end up getting a slap!! even though i never mean to provoke.

oh i dunno - maybe i was meant to be alone

Girls dont like to talk about you, they like you to compliment them, joke with them, and see where it goes. You sound like you love yourself a little, and like to talk about you and the sport you excel in.. big turn off for the girls. When a guy looks toned up most girls think that the guy loves himself or is gay.

Also, your style of joking must be lacking somewhat if you get a slap.. hmm.. So in conclusion, theres no easy way to chat up a girl.. you just be yourself and talk, remember not everyone will like you, indeed many may not, but its as much to do with your personality at that point. When you get used to normal social interactions with girls, and see them as normal people like you and me (assuming anyone is normal of course ) then you will get better at it, like a salesman... then you may develop chat up lines.. but they're all about technique in my experience, and only players need to worry about this level of 'chatting up'. As everyone says, be yourself - its all about finding a mate who will accept you for who you are after all.

Oh, and you can get smaller, do more reps and aerobic work and less resistance and you will lose the muscle tissue you build up with heavy resistance.

Amz

Aithnionn ciaróg, ciaróg eile Doodee

Gearoid

Ta an ceart agat Amz, doodee bocht:D

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

talk about their breasts

women love to talk about breasts

Amz

Boobedies!!

\O/
oo
/\

Reyman

Spend 7 bucks at Amazon on Dale Carnegie's --

"How to win friends and influence people"


You'll be the guy in demand in no time !!

Sangre

That is possibly the most selfish, self obessed, moronic title to a book ever.

How to win friends?
They're not there to be won, they're to be found and earnt (you know what i mean)

How to influence people?
To do what, your bidding? Try having something worth respecting in your head.
Ffs, what a load of ****, I bet you an American wrote that.

Argghhh, anyway, ummm, chat up lines dont really work, just go up and ask them what they do etc.
When Im talking to someone I dont know its usually the old 'what course are you doing etc...'

Reyman

Desperate needs - desperate measures !

Happy guy - happy gals!

LegacyUser

personally i'd be laughing at myself in an out of body exerience way if i asked a girl 'what she does', it's like the job defines the person or something? ah ugly thing to ask IMO, girls though most of the times don't pick up that it's a stupid come on line and sure you're laughing, so it's a balance of humiliation and scoring, are you ready to walk that fine line, fine humilating line that is...

misswex

Some people like tall broad guys, some people prefer the opposite - everybody is dfifferent so I don't think the answer is how you look, it seems to be more your approach and attitude!!

You obviously don't bore your mates as otherwise they wouldn't be hanging out with you so maybe its a case that you are so nervous that you just talk and talk about how much you love sport and how fascinating it all is and you end up rambling on and on!!

I'm guessing your probably a nice guy who just needs to relax, your just going to have a chat with a girl - we're not that bad, honestly

Good luck anyway

ferdi

Originally posted by Clueless!
i have a great body and always dress to show this off (sometimes subtly sometimes plain shaping). I find that after those looks lose eye contact they go straight to my chest and arms!
Also while im here - girls do ye like muscles?

maybe if you werent so concerned about your own looks girls (not 'birds') would appreciate you for your other, more important qualities. i dont thing girls go for the guy flexing his muscles in the corner. grow up.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Clueless!
please tell me what to say or how to go about chatting up a girl

chat up lines don't normally work and should only be used by a total pro, talk to girls like you would talk to your mates (within reason)

All i want is to be able to sustain a conversation without boring her to death

get her to talk about herself

How about good lines to break the ice?

hello, how are you, normally works,

Also while im here - girls do ye like muscles?

If a bloke has muscles and is wearing a tight t-shirt to show them off, my first thought would be, boy he loves himself, not fair probably, but if you spend that much time and effort on them, don't you?
nothing wrong with a bloke who takes care of himself though, but try not to show them off too much, at least not till you get her home!

What about shaved hair?

not a problem if it suits you and you're comfortable with it

I think part of my problem could be my combination of being fairly big with a shaved hear and goatee. Could this be intimidating?

no, I wouldn't have thought so

btw
I would be interested to know, what exactly you say to these women which would have them slapping you?

Kali

Originally posted by Reyman
Spend 7 bucks at Amazon on Dale Carnegie's --

"How to win friends and influence people"


You'll be the guy in demand in no time !!

Nonsense. Get "How to Lose Friends And Alienate People" instead... then you'll know what NOT to do

JohnnyBravo

get drunk then youl talk to anyone

Victor

I covered for a friend at work today and just started blabbering to female customer and it kinda worked, I even continued on even after she mention her boyfriend (he's in Germany).

Just show an interest in the person. It is however very handy to have a reason to talk to them or some other angle.

Wolfie

Originally posted by JohnnyBravo
get drunk then youl talk to anyone

Actually, this is one of the worse things you can be doing.. I used to have this problem.. when you get too drunk thats a huge turn off for girls.. when we get drunk we act like idiots anyway, so why would a girl be interested in an idiot.. A few drinks is cool, but overdo it and you'll be staggering home alone!

Klaus

Pubs can be difficult. People out for a good time in many cases like to be entertained. Some guys are good at this, some not so. Better to try other places, evening classes, the park, gym maybe?

Failing this, I've always found the line "so who are you then?" to work ok. For a while I thought going around asking questions like "do you like mullets then?" would work, but actually ended in humiliation.

I've a friend who's had some success with "I wanna be Will Smith's ma" and other completely ridiculous lines. kinda funny and a bizarre topic of conversation all rolled up together.

Pink Bunny

TOTALLY agree with the others who said not to use a chat up line. I hate that and nothing turns me off faster. You said women make the eye contact, so that's a good start. If you smile and she smiles back..that's better and that's your clue to walk up to her and just say "Hello". That's it. If you are a bit shy it's ok, lots of times we feel a bit shy ourselves. If there is music playing you can comment on that, if she's into music (which I am, so that's what comes to mind) that can lead into a good conversation. BUT whatever you do, don't pretend you like something you don't, just to impress. Like with music or whatever, if she knows more about it than you it goes much better if you admit it, it will give her a chance to teach you. I'm a softy for the "little boy lost" if it's genuine.

JohnnyBravo

im lost come find me pretty momma

tricky D

check out
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=142182&perpage=20&pagenumber=3
for tips and advice.

Also practice makes perfect so do it, keep doing it and don't worry about rejection cause there's always plenty of that even for the 'pros'.

JohnnyBravo

you know you just referenced this page right???

Placebo

lol, shhh he doesnt

tricky D

yup, brilliant eh, lil mix up on the ole clipboard front wrt not being logged in (it was right the first attempted reply).

Here's the real thing:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/singles_dating/

hth

Caliden

ask for her name and then tell her yours and your away with it then, simple

simu

Tweet tweet.

But seriously, treat them like you would anybody else - try to go for an unusual conversation that they'll remember not someting dull like "do you come here often", don't start shooting off compliments too soon, if ever - it'll sound insincere.

But really, it depends what kind of girl you're going for - what works for a geek girl wouldn't work for one of those girls who are obsessed with their appearance and so on - you have to tailor your style for the person in question.

StephenInsane

I dunno how I approach girls. Usually after a few pints I just start talking. Its not something I do conscientiously. I'd never made eye-contact with a girl and just walked across the bar and just start chatting to some chick, that'd just freak her out. Usually if I see a chick beside me who isn't engaged in conversation who doesn't look like a bitch, I just turn around and start talking total ****e to her, you should get the impression instantly weither she's up for a chat or not, if she's not, leave her alone. If a chat does start then usually her mates will start chatting with the two of you in a group and then your mates will join in aswell and a big group conversation starts. And during that conversation, you can try to find a girl you fancy from that group and chat her up, maybe a snog will ensue, who knows. If it does, fair play, if it doesn't, at least you had a bit of a laugh trying.

Also it doesn't always have to be you who starts the interaction, if you see your friend chatting to a chick or even better two chicks, join in. The second you enter the conversation you should know weither you're wanted or if it's a private conversation. If it's private, leave them alone.

I do all this unconscientiously however. It's only now after analyizing that I'm realising how my game works. I guess I'm just a natural player.

On a final note. the problem with some places these days however is the music is too fk'ing loud, and it can make all this more difficult.

Have fun.