15 things you discover in 50 years

sound_wave

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why
the human race has not achieved, and never will
achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and
"mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with
you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up
and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is
gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a
clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight
savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless
you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that
moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting
other people to make a big deal about your birthday.
That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status
or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we
ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the
waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important.
Pay attention. It never fails.)

14.. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember
that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of
professionals built the Titanic.

FINAL Thought for the day: Men are like a fine wine.
They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to
stomp the crap out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.

dunno about that final thought of the day though.....

nahdoic

You should print those 15 rules and read it every day before you get up in the morning. Pearls of wisdom.

the Guru

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
pill and a laxative on the same night.

always remember this

Capt'n Midnight

things you discover in 50 seconds.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=52078
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=133537

Dave

Originally posted by sound_wave
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember
that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of
professionals built the Titanic.

The ark... right.......

quank

not much humour innit....

Zer0^

Originally posted by the Guru
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
pill and a laxative on the same night.

always remember this

!!! Amen !!!

oeNeo

HIGHlarious.

tba

Originally posted by sound_wave
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a
clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight
savings time.

Its to make sure its bright in the morning when you go to school