Why I fired my secretary.

Commissar

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me.
As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember. The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said,
"Good morning, Boss "Happy Birthday".
And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said,
"You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
i said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. "Let's go!" We went to lunch.
We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll
go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable"
"Sure!" I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake

---

followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.



And I just sat there ----


on the couch ----



naked.

Senor_Fudge

lol

SpankyFart

omg rofl

How embarrising if true :rolleyes:

seamus

heh, very good.

BioHazRd

Originally posted by SpankyFart
omg rofl

How embarrising if true :rolleyes:

ehmmm, not true - its a f****n joke :rolleyes: (and a good 'un at that)

Bio

uberwolf

dja i like it

Shaque attack

rofl:D

sweep_101

Great stuff:D

SpankyFart

1 more the sameish

Man and woman had been married for ten years, they had two children and both held down stable jobs. The only thing the wife could think of that was wrong was every night for the last five years he insisted on turning out the light before sex. Not to say the sex was bad, he was the best she'd ever had but the light thing puzzeled her.

Intending to get him out of the habbit that night in the middle of a steamy session, in the dark, she turned on the light and saw her husband of ten years had in fact been using a dildo instead of his cock for five years. Enraged she fumed "What the f**k is this?! What are you using a dildo for?"
To which he replied "I'll explain the dildo you explain the kids"

kmart6

Commissar thats brill made me laugh

SpankyFart thats just f**kin class:D

quank

hahahaha
both great jokes...