No-one to go out with...

Is1ldur

Not to make it sound as though I have a major problem or anything, but just curious to see if there are many people who find themselves in a similar situation to myself. Basically, I am 27 years old and find that all of the people I used to go out with are married, have kids, or are in 'long-term' relationships. Other friends I have go home 'to the country' for the weekend. The crux being, I find myself reduced to sitting in usually at the weekends, or calling around in the hope that someone might be going out. I do have work-mates, but pretty much same story, married, long-term r/ship, etc., just don't really bother going out. I suppose I do feel a bit 'stuck' at the moment. I do envisage a change of job in the near future, so I would presume that will help, but is there anything else I could do? Over Christmas, it was just incredibly quiet, and I feel, sometimes, that life is kinda passing by a bit, when I know I should be 'out-there'.

kaimera

a hobby perhaps?

Is1ldur

Not really a good suggestion. I have plenty of interests, PC games, reading, playing the guitar, motorsport, etc, I am doing a college course, and I have 2 jobs, one full-time during the day, and another at weekends. I am not bored, or even lonely. I just don't really have anyone in a similar situation that I can give a call to and go out for a few drinks.

Paddy20

Count666,

If you are male. Why are you not going out for a few drinks on your own. You would probably find that you would not be drinking alone for very long ?.. and you would not be thinking so much about workmates as such.

If you are Female, I am aware that it can be harder for single women to want to go out to Pubs etc, on their own. If I was Female I would just go anyway.

P.:ninja:

Sarky

The hobbies you mentioned don't seem overly social, do they? Have you any hobbies that actually require you to meet with other people, chat with them, and so on?

suppafly

yeah like u could take up a sport or join some kind of club, or do u not have the time with yur 2 jobs?

Kold

Mention it to your friends, they might especially make some time for you... Although you might sound a little pathetic :dunno:

Cabaal

Originally posted by Kold
Mention it to your friends, they might especially make some time for you... Although you might sound a little pathetic :dunno:

True, but if there REALY friends they'll try help him as best they can so its worth a shot

Tivoli

have you ever tried joining a gym

i hear there very like pubs, except most people go there alone

1) loads of people to talk too
2) loads of women to look at


whats with the 2 jobs, are you trying to buy the taxman?

deimos

"PC games, reading, playing the guitar, motorsport, etc"

Most of the people I do hang around with I know because of my interests.

Par example, I have my gamer friends which I know from lans which I meet every now and again, I have my band buddies who I jam with now and again, I have my reading buddies(I wont lie:ninja:)), computer buddies, and all other sorts, I do not see any one bunch much but when I want to do something or go-out I always have my different groups.

My mother always told me have as many different groups of friends as possible.

dazberry

Originally posted by deimos
My mother always told me have as many different groups of friends as possible.

That's actually true - your ma knows stuff . I don't have a huge amount of immediate friends by any means, and although they all know each other (and get on thankfully) they don't hang around together, so there's more of a chance of something happening (or getting something going - you have to be proactive sometimes - not that it always works of course).

D.

Beruthiel

count666
do you live in dublin?
if you look in boards events there always seems to be something going on
you could have come out with us last friday for instance
they have poker nights
pool nights
games
drinks
boards can open up a whole new social life if you want it!
a

angelofdeath

hobby is definitly a good idea, ive met most of the people i hang out with through computers and pc gaming

bug

This happens to alot of people in their late 20's early 30's. People start pairing off and have other responsibilities with families and what not. (another thing to look forward to if you have set your sights on being single :rolleyes:
Suddenly the large social circle you had in your early 20's begin to drop sprogs. and if you choose to be a batchelor/ette then society/people don't seem to understand or get it, well in this country anyways.

I recently discovered how hard it is for thirty somethings to socialise when a close family member separated from their spouse. The clubs in Dublin anyways are quite pathetic for this age group, and can be quite depressing.

If I were you I would travel as much as I can with every holiday I had. Go out for drinks with groups of younger people. Either way have confidence in yourself to get out and about even with people you dont know that well.

Imposter

If you're in Dublin join a pub crawl. A few of us did this over christmas and had a ball.

I don't know which one we joined (but it wasn't the literary one). I think it costs 5€.
You never know who/what you could meet.

It's not a permanent solution to your problem but it'd be fun and there are always people there on their own.

Lafortezza

Originally posted by Beruthiel
count666
do you live in dublin?
they have poker nights
pool nights

Poker this thursday in the Fitzwilliam card club (very n00b friendly, you just need to know the basics of Texas hold'em poker),
A few of us went last thursday and everyone had fun, nice to meet some boardies as well.
This thurs 15th I'll be going for a game of pool in Fireworks at the junction of Tara and Pearse St beforehand, more than welcome to come along.
Check the poker forum

patch

Get a job in a hotel. Bar or waiter or whatever. You'll meet loads of new people, and they'll ALL be drinking most of their spare time anyway! Many of the friends I meet up with I worked with in hotels years ago.

Peace

A hobby/sport should be a social thing.

One of my things is scuba diving and its very heavy on the social thing. You get to travel around ireland a lot and the world. You get to meet lots of pretty fun people. The diving itself can be fantastic, both here in ireland and away in places like the Carribean and Red Sea Egypt. Scuba clubs often organise weekends away for up to 15/16 people....and you always end up legless at the end of the night.

Its just a suggestion but if you're interested in something like this then go have a look up the sports section of boards or more specifically the scuba section of boards. There is no boards.ie scuba club but the usefull links thread has lots of schools that you can have a look at.

Typedef

Originally posted by bug
If I were you I would travel as much as I can with every holiday I had. Go out for drinks with groups of younger people. Either way have confidence in yourself to get out and about even with people you dont know that well.

Yes do that... nothing wrong with being the oldest swinger in town.

ToxicPaddy

I actually found this was a big problem when I first moved to dublin, I was single, up
here on my own, I changed jobs a lot in the first 3 years, being in IT and the way
the industry was, u moved on, got more money and basically learnt as much as
possible while trying to earn as much as possible, but at the expense of the few
friends you made in each place.. Although most of mine were back home and I found
it a lot harder to socialise up here due to people being naturally more cautious..
which is understandable..

From what a few have said here, sports/hobbies are a great way to go, as they are
a good place to meet other people who you know have a common interest with you
and usually through people like this you get to know more..

I joined a club about 3 years to play a sport I love back and can safely say, that ive
met more people through that directly or indirectly than i ever would have met on my
own..

Tox

irlirishkev

Count666

I can totally sympathise with you. I'm 26, single, and most of my friends/colleagues are in relationships etc.. There's been a number of friday nights when all me mates were busy being couply.. and I ended up sitting in getting angry at the television.

I have a number of hobbies, eg gym, horseriding amongst others. Doesn't seem to make much of a difference, social circle wise.

I've no problem going out on my own for a few drinks on a friday night, as suggested in previous posts, but you have to be choosy about where to go or you'll seem (cross out where appropriate) desperate/pervy/gay..

I can't offer any advice I'm afraid, but as I said, I know how it feels, it's frustrating to say the least especially if you're not single by choice.
So no, you're not alone.

Kev.

Trojan

Come along to the next boards beers.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Trojan
Come along to the next boards beers.

yup
you'll make more friends than you can handle!

JohnnyBravo

get a girlfriend they generally take up a lot of time and money

Is1ldur

Jeez, I have not checked this thread in a while. Thanks for the responses all. I may have a look into that Poker thing, and will be at the next Boards Beer. (I went to one last year and it was good fun, however I left before it degenerated too much (from what I heard afterwards!)).
I have actually been quite busy, just going to things that I would not normally go to such as the IFI, work things, etc. I think I might have been feeling a bit sorry for myself the weekend I posted that....however I 'm sure I will have another of those quiet weekends fairly soon...

misswex

We all have days like dat Count6666, glad things have turned around!!!

Maybe you should go to the Boards Beer IrishKev :dunno:

ToxicPaddy

u all lonely aswell misswex?

misswex

Where do you get your ideas from Tox

ToxicPaddy

ah i dunno.. just get this feelin from you...