Cinema Rant

tinkerbell

Went to see ROTK last night. Luckily, had seen it already, otherwise it would've totally ruined the whole movie.

There was this kid sittin right behind my seat with his dad. Kid was, I'd say, a max of six years of age.

Right from when Smeagol and Deagol were in the boat, the kid starts askin questions, REALLY loudly. Not only were the questions annoyin, but his accent was like nails scraping down a blackboard. He kept on talking NON-STOP through the movie, considering it was over three hours, that was one hell of a long time to be talking.

The kid would go quiet from time to time (e.g. when Faramir & co. went in to try to guard Osgiliath, and when Faramir said to fall back, they all ran off, one of his men got hit, was still breathing, and that orc with the one eye drove a spear straight down through the guy's chest; or when there was general blood and guts).

I mean, we paid to hear the MOVIE not some stoopid kid narrating it for us - he was so dumb that he would even repeat what they said in the movie, he said somethin at one stage on what Gollum said, can't remember what it is, say "we must go in the tunnel", and kid goes "where are they goin?" Things like that, or constant askin "where's Froooodohhhh" (yes, that's the way he said it), "what's Pop doin?" (his name for Pippin), "is that Golldummm?" (he thought that was everyone in the movie), "where's the good guy gone? where's the bad guy gone?"

GOOD GRIEF!!! It was the most painful three hours of my entire life! Okay, so LOTR ain't THAT violent, but it would be to someone who is so young that they don't understand that you are supposed to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT durin a cinema trip!!

And to top it all off, the dad gets a phonecall durin the movie, lets the phone ring for AAAGES (at this stage, everyone was majorly gettin pissed off), and he actually TAKES the call and talks for about two / three minutes!!! At which stage, I turned around and was ready to clobber him, but the guy was hooooj, so I quickly turned back around in my seat. So many times I was gonna turn around and tell them both to shut the **** up! And his dad was equally as ignorant, not only with the whole phonecall thing - but he never once told the child to be quiet.

They left before Frodo and Sam got picked up by the eagles, never have I appreciated the sweet sound of silence sooo much!

The Beer Baron

I've sed it before and I'll say it again- best advice ever

tinkerbell

hahaha, except both the dad and the kid needed the beating in this case!

Meadows

you should have contacted cinema staff and got them to have a quiet word with the offending parties (only in a perfect world though, Myself, I would have just sat there like a big doormat and took it, makes you wonder why im so big and brave on an internet chat room and so easygoing in reality, doesn't it, doesn't it!!!). and remember touching yourself causes wrinkles.

sionnach

had a similar problem on my 3rd viewing of rotk. A gang of 13-14 year olds in teh cinema kept shouting out crap that they thought was funny in the middle of the film. "its a trap frodo" "run frodo" and **** like that. i wasnt too impressed :mad:

ixoy

What cinema was it?
I remember a while back, in UGC, we had a similiar bunch of fcuking knackers. There were a couple in the row in front of them and - bless them - the bloke got up to call security. Of course they spotted this and legged it to different seats. However, the girlfriend just pointed out their new location when security arrived and the little sh1ts were kicked out to scattered applause

sionnach

n1 wish id thought of that.

DMT

Originally posted by The Beer Baron
I've sed it before and I'll say it again- best advice ever

BlitzKrieg

IS it just me or is it because lotr is so long that all the scummers feel its ok to talk and take phonecalls??



WHen i went to see it for the 2nd time i found that the cinema i had chosen had poor sound to start with so the addition of 3 lads at the back talking through the whole film really pissed me off. I finally told security when their phone started ringing (most annoying ringtone like someone tried to redcord blink 182 off the radio with it) and they answered and started talking. Though that was crap he just came in and told them to be quiet.

10 min later they were off again....grrrr


finally during the frodo gollum fight when they still kept talking i did the innocent SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

the reply


"Dont Shush me or i'll box the head of ye, ye fooker in the corner"


not very bright seeing i was in front of them???


course thankfully they took the message and left.

(i think they only went cause their girlfriends wanted to go how they have gf's is beyond me?)




BB gun beside projector to shoot offenders in my opinion.

Töpher

Nothing a smack upside the head can nay fix!

Agent Smith

i hate that so so so much




i recomend a upgrade to a awp in the projection screen room....

Faust

bbgun in dark cinema equals good fun and quiet kids!

Giblet

Originally posted by sionnach
had a similar problem on my 3rd viewing of rotk. A gang of 13-14 year olds in teh cinema kept shouting out crap that they thought was funny in the middle of the film. "its a trap frodo" "run frodo" and **** like that. i wasnt too impressed :mad:

You've seen the film, so you didn't miss much. They are kids for **** sake. Tell them to shut up!

Faust

Originally posted by Giblet
You've seen the film, so you didn't miss much. They are kids for **** sake. Tell them to shut up!

one is likely to get the reply " Shurup ya faggeh!" and popcorn thrown at you!

BlitzKrieg

as from my experiance they dont have the intelligence to find where you are in the cinema.


also they may say shut up but thats all tthey'll do. In my case they actually left knowing they were on thin ice with everyone in the cinema.

Giblet

Yes because I'd be worried if a 14 yr old threw popcorn at me :rolleyes:

quank

excuse me, but my dearest friend was murdered last year by a popcorn to the eye

full contact


ANYWAY

there is always skangers/little annoying kids in the UCI i go to (blanch) and they just make the stupidiest comments and kick chairs which is the most annoying thing

tbh, i never did anything abhoot it....... but next time....... *cracks knuckles*...

Placebo

"we must go in the tunnel", and kid goes "where are they goin?"

LMAO !

i once went to see Matrix reloaded with 2 friends, the cinema was fairly empty(yours must have been fullish i guess) anyway so this kid, around the same age, 6ish or so, comes up with his mother and sits beside me and starts talking ****ing blabber, "so when is it starting mom" , "whats gonna happen mom" "so and so" , the movie hadnt even started and he was on a massive head start and i knew he was gonna talk b/w the movie and wreck my architect scene so i moved to the otherside of my friends and got a look from his mother, hell it was worth it, dont bring kids to see complex movies, save `em for Finding nemo (which is not so bad, actually )
anyway then sitting through the movie i got 2 bottle caps thrown at me from the back, now i dont know WHY someone would do that, when i looked back it was just really dark, nothing i could have done, worst experience ! yes it was.

And once during 28 days (completley full ) some dude picked up his phone and around 7 people started shotuing at him.

good day.

Kold

Its weird how guys tend to grow out of this. I went out with a girl to the cinema the other day and she insisted on asking me all sorts of questions. She stopped when i growled firmly in her ear "Just watch the fúcking movie and maybe we'll both find out"

Big Ears

ya i cant remember that well of when i was around 6 but i say i would have talked a bit through movies although these would be the movies aimed at children.

tinkerbell

Originally posted by Placebo
LMAO !

i once went to see Matrix reloaded with 2 friends, the cinema was fairly empty(yours must have been fullish i guess)

Nope - the place was kinda empty, and the kid LOVED to talk durin the really quiet scenes - so loud, that it was actually a struggle to hear the movie itself!

Twas funny though the way the kid would go really quiet durin certain really gory scenes, lol, that shut him up!

echomadman

I always tell these mofos to shut the hell up, and its not just scummer kids that do it either, When i went to see Kill Bill there were three middle aged housewifey type that had a full blown knitting circle style conversation all the way through the fucking movie.
God knows what they were doing there, other people around me were tutting and making dissaproving noises, but not actually saying anything, I asked them to keep it down, only to be further enraged by their aghast reaction to my impunity, the clucking dimwitted equivalent to :rolleyes: was all i got back.
Fine I said, bide your time ed, i said, soon they'll all pay, pay good.... my murderous train of thought was interrupted by one of the dumb cows answering her phone and talking on it
"we're at the kill bill" "no, no its not over yet" "yeah we'll meet youin." at this point I lost it, turned around and shouted " SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET OFF YOUR PHONE YOU IGNORANT BITCH YOU'RE IN A CINEMA"

she looked stunned and terrified, and hung up......... not 1 minute later it rang again, obviously the same person as she began talking again "no its not over yet.." que me shouting abuse again, then her slack jawed friends mobile rang, honest to god I was almost in apoplexy at this point, which was compounded when i turned around and the credits were rolling (kill bill pt 1 ends rather abruptly imo). I turned to the three vacuous bints again and congratulated them on ruining the film and totally fucging up the ending then left b while i was still able to contain my urge to throttle them


And if i'd have killed those women, i'd have been in the wrong.....

The Beer Baron

Actually listening to him come back in here so he could bitch loudly about said housewives was almost as entertaining as the actual movie.

Of course me and my GF went to see it the following week and there was this freak behind us who spent the entire film sucking on the unpopped bits of popcorn and nibbling every piece of white stuff off the kernels. The noise was the most ignorant and disgusting scarfing sucking racket that made me break out in a cold but angry sweat.

Having sat there all through the final-showdown (not that I knew it was a final showdown- stupid as I was I was expecting a final showdown with a guy called Bill) and, adrennalin pumping, was awaiting the end of the scene when I could turn around and tell him to shut the hell up.

So we get to the bit on the plane, and I sed to myself, after this scene I'm going to turn around and scream at him- then it ended. And by the time I got over the "it's over already?!" incredulity he'd already left the cinema- ARRGGGHHH!!!!

Stark

Had a few 14 year olds semi-skangers sitting behind us in LOTR. About 20 mins towards the end they started getting bored and agitated and started kicking our seats. It was lucky the film ended just as they were hitting breaking point and about to start really ruining the film for people.

****ing phones. I mean fair enough sometimes you forget to turn off a phone (despite the massive warnings), but when it does go off you're supposed to go all embarrassed and rush to silence it, not answer it ffs.

ella minnow pea

people are so used to watching tv in the privacy of their own home now, where they talk, eat, answer the phone, cut their toenails, all while watching films. when they go to the cinema they relapse into these habits

Originally posted by echomadman
" SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET OFF YOUR PHONE YOU IGNORANT BITCH YOU'RE IN A CINEMA"

LOL...legend

jank

lol great thread especially that linkfor the quick answer to parenting i myslef would use a 2 * 4

when i was younger me and a group of friends got thrown out of forest gump we were only 12/13 or so and we didnt actually make that much noise!!

young people have no respect these days ..:(
if you tell one of them shut up nowadays there will prob be a lynch mob waiting for ya outside.
luckily i havent meet many annoying types in the cinema recently but most of the stories here originate from dublin which ha sa fair proportion of scumbags

once alright when i was in boston this guy next to me answered his mobile twice and kept talking for about 2-3 min each time. would have said something except he was this huge black guy and being in a forgein country and all

dahamsta

I hate when this happens, but to be perfectly frank I'd be more inclined to beat the life out of someone that came out with a sentence like this...

Originally posted by tinkerbell
(e.g. when Faramir & co. went in to try to guard Osgiliath, and when Faramir said to fall back, they all ran off, one of his men got hit, was still breathing, and that orc with the one eye drove a spear straight down through the guy's chest; or when there was general blood and guts).

Mr E

Went to see the Last Samurai yesterday, and 2 things about the attendees pissed me off...

1. Why do parents bring 5 year olds to movies like this? I know its 15PG, but (a) it was pretty violent, and (b) there were alot of subtitles. "What does that say, da?" (over and over and over again)

2. Skangers and knackers can't actually read, so they got very bored during the subtitled bits and started running around the cinema. Security guard (if you can call him that) came in 10 minutes before the end to kick them out. About 2 hours 20 mins too late, imho....

- Dave.

raphaelS

We all have these stories about phone, pop corn, kids... Before chrsitmas, my LOTR was spoiled by 12 to 16 old morons... I thought that a tuesday morning 11.00 screening would be quiet... I was wrong.

That's it... this was my last visit to a cinema, I'm going to buy a video projector and will enjoy DVDs in the quiet confort of my home... then no more phones, pop corn and kids/teens!

Raphael

Stark

Day-time tends to be the worst. I often forget it, "hmmm, okay we're all busy every night this week, but hey, Saturday afternoon is perfect!". Then you get to the cinema, see all the knackers roaming the cinema and think "oh ****".

Late night shows tend to be the best as far as peace is concerned IMO

Mossy Monk

i wonder why i dont go to the cinema anymore happens all the time that there will be someone rattling a crisp bag, slurping on a drink, on the phone, talking etc. etc. had someone snoring behind me once aswell

Sauron

nothing annoys me more tbh..:dunno:
was watching ROTK in the UGC and some 15yr old skanger's phone rings for ages and he actually picks it up and starts talking really loudly and this was in a quiet scene, annoyed the hell outta me....:mad:

Seeing ROTK again, was sitting in front of a group of middle-aged house wifey types and ignorant bastards.....felt it was great to think of some kind of pun or joke for whenever someone dies...mainly during quiet scenes, laughing loudly.....thinking they were so funny...only ppl talking in an otherwise quiet scenes....got a few looks from the rest of the crowd...seemed oblivious to them.

I HATE ppl like that who think they're so funny and cant keep their mouth shut (in a cinema) and think they're above criticism and would drop their monacles in their sherry glasses in shock at any sign of it...."well, I never!"

Finally, little mini-rockers with Nirvana hoodies and laser pens.....nuff said.

Inconsiderate assholes imo..when skangers come to a movie that to complex for them they start acting like idiots.:dunno:

ixoy

If there are little skangers annoying you and the crowd in UGC tell security. I've seen them kick them out a few times. It does work.

Now does anyone want to fund my plan whereby, for a small ticket price increase, we pay for a rifleman in the cinema, with night vision goggles, who will take out any noise makers?

ixoy

Originally posted by echomadman
And if i'd have killed those women, i'd have been in the wrong.....

Not if I was in power: you'd get a medal for bravery in the face of duty. Vote ixoy - you know it makes sense!

MrBigglesworth

It's my number one hate in this life. It ruins the whole experience of cinema-going and is one of few times I would gladly smash a jumbo pepsi into somebody's face. TWATS!

tba

I have never had any trouble like this, what time do you all go at?

I tend to go on weekday evenings.

ixoy

Not been so bad lately, for me. Get the showings around 18:30ish but - more importantly - generally and see more "alternative" movies, such as "Thirteen" or "One/Two/Three" which skangers wouldn't touch.
I still think murder is justified however.

nlgbbbblth

Phones ringing in cinemas really piss me off - and although the person making the call must share some of the blame, people should really turn them off before they go into the cinema.

Most of the time I will put up with talking etc but on two separate occasions over the years I have lost the head and thrown my drink over people - after telling them to shut up a couple of times prior to this.
Both times they walked out in shock.
Both times other people applauded.

the trick is make sure they are smaller than you

raphaelS

After the beers, the poker, the pool why not a film, only for us, with us!
How much will it be to book a screen for a film...?

Raphael

dictatorcat

Personally i don't mind noisey people/knackers in the cinema.........becauz ven i am in power ze final zolution vill sort zem all out......oh i've had too much sugar today:p

Mark

Originally posted by echomadman
"we're at the kill bill" "no, no its not over yet" "yeah we'll meet youin." at this point I lost it, turned around and shouted " SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET OFF YOUR PHONE YOU IGNORANT BITCH YOU'RE IN A CINEMA"

she looked stunned and terrified, and hung up......... not 1 minute later it rang again, obviously the same person as she began talking again "no its not over yet.." que me shouting abuse again, then her slack jawed friends mobile rang, honest to god I was almost in apoplexy at this point, which was compounded when i turned around and the credits were rolling (kill bill pt 1 ends rather abruptly imo). I turned to the three vacuous bints again and congratulated them on ruining the film and totally fucging up the ending then left b while i was still able to contain my urge to throttle them

And if i'd have killed those women, i'd have been in the wrong.....

That's the most satisfying post I've ever read.

ixoy

Originally posted by Mark
That's the most satisfying post I've ever read.

Indeed. Can I bring him to the cinema?

Ph3n0m

ah yes the cinema, where you either have a good time or a near heart attack.


first off in relation to children in cinemas

1) ban all children under the ages of 5 from any movie
2) children should only be brought to children's movies and other appropriate movies - having been told to be absoluetly quiet (I do this with my daughter, and it works a treat)
3) if the child acts up, just get up and leave (i have done this twice before with a neighbour's child as she wouldnt shut up nattering to herself)
4) never ever let a child get away with kicking your seat or seats of people with you. went to see several movies with my daughter and unfortunatly she seems to get the seat kickers - which were duely dealt with either a stern look that the offending child's parents see or the final solution, stand up, turn around, and look directly at the parent and tell them to stop their child kicking the seat or you will stop the child yourself - quite funny to see parents sh*t themselves

now we come to my personal hate - the mobile phone users

gah will these people just curl up and die! every so often while at the cinema with the gf, there are countless people with mobiles - and every bloody time the gf stops me from getting up and thumping them and breaking their phones. so now i resort to just yelling really loudly at them and pointing at them. although one guy got up and came over to me and threatened me as he was talking to his mother!!! so i just pushed him away, and he duely fell down 3 steps - he just quietly sat back down.

a friend of mine was being annoyed by someone beside them using their mobile phone, so they took it off them and hurled it to the floor - he was in the back row so he threw it a loooong way away. luckily the phone did break, or else he would have had to spend time looking for it if it rang again

the point is - would it not be an idea for a member of security to confiscate all phones and then hand them back after the movie? wouldnt be too hard to implement if it was based on a ticket or sticker solution

anthonymcg

Originally posted by Ph3n0m
the point is - would it not be an idea for a member of security to confiscate all phones and then hand them back after the movie? wouldnt be too hard to implement if it was based on a ticket or sticker solution

Nah, I'd rather have one of those mobile phone blocker things in place. The Savoy had one but they had to get rid of it for some reason. How can people not go without their phone for 2 hours?! Its crazy. If its important, leave a f*cking voice mail.

tinkerbell

As far as I know, the Savoy had to remove the mobile phone blocker thing because it was a security hazzard.

anthonymcg

Originally posted by tinkerbell
As far as I know, the Savoy had to remove the mobile phone blocker thing because it was a security hazzard.

How exactly?

echomadman

Mobile phone blockers, wonderful as they may be, are illegal unless you have a license to broadcast in that specific frequency range.

BlitzKrieg

is there a variation that sets all mobiles ringing?


Cause it be funny and usefull for a turn mobile add off to say "If your mobile is on like so...(activate blocker that causes all mobiles to ring) turn them off NOW! and once again i shall say if it is on (blocker again) keep it off."



it'll be like those orange mobile ads. No one in warner cinema ever seem to have mobile on cause those ads are so funny and out of respect people turn mobiles off (its only in ugc and my home town cinema with their crappy ads that they are not turned off)

Dustaz

confiscate phones? christ, there is a 'silent' option on most phones now. Thats all thats needed. That and of course the brains needed to let calls go to voicebox

tinkerbell

ah-ha but you see they have to have the intelligence to be able to use said silent option