Trying to get beyond the dreaded Friend zone with a girl

pigeonbutler

Ok, having been a regular browser of this forum for a while now I ahve a fairly good idea of the sort of replies I'm going to get here but what the hell I'll explain the situation and I suppose I might get some useful feedback.

A few months ago a group of my friends (including myself) met a group of girls from Cork. (We're from Athlone) One of my friends really liked one of the girls but she had a bloke at the time. Anyway they swopped phone numbers and when she split with her fella the two groups (them and us) arranged to meet up before christmas and those 2 got together and then we all met up again last weekend and those two were together again. And the two groups have met up on a total of 4 times now and plan on continuing meeting up more in the future.

Now I'll start getting to the point! When we first met the girls I was with someone and so wasn't trying to get in with any of them but was friendly anyway so now seem to have become a platonic friend. (Any Chris Rock fans will know what a problem this is) Anyway from the 2nd time we met up with the girls onwards I liked one of the girls a lot. The most recent weekend we spent with them I even found that every time I raised my head she was staring at me and not averting her gaze when I looked up. However she wasn't smiling back either. Also I was getting the feeling that the other girls were plotting, as girls do, to set her up with me but nothing concrete happened. Anytime i was chatting to her or lying/sitting beside her I found we'd get so close then she'd feck off! Not suddenly like but it would always happen. I was hugely confused with the whole situation.

Any (helpful!!!) thoughts?

silverside

FFS just tell her you like her and ask her out for a drink/meal. How hard can it be.

pigeonbutler

Eh. Either u didn't read it or your geography isn't too good. I live 3-4 hours away from her and see her very irregularly for a day or two at a time, so asking her out for a meal/drink isn't really much of an option. Telling her straight out I like her and seeing where that leads is an option however.

sci0x

I can see your dilemma. Her sitting there looking back at you and staring sounds more creepy to me more than anything :P.

Anywayz you know your only choice is to tell her how you feel and ask if she feels the same. What kinda relationship do you propose having with her when she is living 4 hours away? Like meet her every weekend or what. Do you think it would last?

pigeonbutler

Ah some semi-useful advice. I'm not planning anything long-term, just trying to get with her. If it keeps up the other times I've to travel with my mate down to cork or meet them here that'd be a bonus!
Creepy would be a bad description for the staring. She's a lovely un-weird girl other than that. It's just a bit strange. If she looked away or smiled it'd be more normal.

Oriel

However she wasn't smiling back either.

That's the bit that's getting to you. If she was smiling, you'd understand what was happening. But she wasn't. So if the girl was looking but not smiling, what does that mean?

If she "fecked off", perhaps she lost confidence in herself and/or freaked out. Have confidence in yourself.

More assertively, make a move on her. If she doesn't want anything, she'll tell you, and no harm done...

pigeonbutler

You got it one there Sinecure. That's exactly what's buggin me. I suppose it'll be 3-4 weeks before I see them again. If i think of it I'll post details (vague details- I'm not going to make this into a porn thread) of any success. Although if there are any more opinions out there?

Faust

Originally posted by Sinecure
and no harm done...

except to his pride...

sci0x

Originally posted by pigeonbutler
If i think of it I'll post details (vague details- I'm not going to make this into a porn thread) of any success.

You wish

Oriel

Originally posted by Faust
except to his pride...

And who has to know about that? :-)
A hurt pride heals very quickly...

Faust

Originally posted by Sinecure
And who has to know about that? :-)
A hurt pride heals very quickly...

There's a reason psychologists are rich you know...

Kell

Originally posted by pigeonbutler
Although if there are any more opinions out there?

Dude- of course it can work if you want to. Question though. Have you wheels i.e. the motorised variety? My GF lives in Galway and we see each other every weekend and have done since May. Distance doesnt cause us any problems so why should it cause you any?

Just pull yer finger out and tell her what the story is. Otherwise, get her shítfaced, shag her senseless and move on.

K-

uberwolf

before we get into hows it could work out they've got to get it on. All its gonna take is one of you to have pluck up the courage for the three seconds its going to take to move ur head from where you are to where she is. Then kiss. We'll see you back here in a months time for advice on how to keep it going.

Faust

Originally posted by uberwolf
before we get into hows it could work out they've got to get it on. All its gonna take is one of you to have pluck up the courage for the three seconds its going to take to move ur head from where you are to where she is. Then kiss. We'll see you back here in a months time for advice on how to keep it going.

What if she screams "RAPE!"

Dr Pepper

What about your friend who's going out with the other girl? Can you not work that angle?

Depending on your relationship with your friend, you could either drop hints or just outright tell him that you're into this girl. Then he could mention it in passing to his girlie and try and get some feedback! It's a bit weak/lame I know but if you only have a day or two window of oppertunity, a bit of 'research' could help get the ball rolling.

pigeonbutler

A good few replies here. I'll deal with them singly
Kell: I'm 17 on my first provisional licence, have no insurance yet cuz the family car is a 1.6 litre avensis. We may get a smaller car in the future but before that's any use I need to get with her!!! Although your second suggestion is very tempting.

Uberwolf: Easier said than done.

Faust: Exactly my fears!

Dr. Pepper: I'm trying to work that angle. He knows and he's supposed to be trying to help me out but he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer and keeps forgetting to bring it up.

Sleepy

Originally posted by Faust
There's a reason psychologists are rich you know...

It's called America

Seriously though, don't be weirded out by the "staring" thing. She probably read that maintaining eye contact was a good way of dropping a hint that she liked you in Cosmo or something...

Faust

I kind of had that problem with my girlfriend at the moment and it took me ages to ask her out. And when i did she was like "Why did you take so long!?" I felt quite the fool. An april fool if you will. Except i think it was march. Anyway what ya do is drop sexy hints into the conversation and see if she reciprocates. I can't think of any examples now but i'm sure other people can.

Mighty_Mouse

dont tell her anything.
"I really like you"
" i think you ALLRIGHT BOY!" or anything along those lines.

just go in for the kill next time yer on the beer and see what happens. If she knocks you back then you can blame the beer and no harm done.

Also whats the point in this is your in athlone and she in cork ?

Faust

Originally posted by Mighty_Mouse


Also whats the point in this is your in athlone and she in cork ?

cos cork girls are easy?

sci0x

Originally posted by Faust
Anyway what ya do is drop sexy hints into the conversation and see if she reciprocates. I can't think of any examples now but i'm sure other people can.

Anyone? Incase im ever stuck for sexy hints to drop.

Agent Smith

Originally posted by chris rock

"OH NO! i'm in the friend zone.....

weigh up the odd's....



what's worth more....

a friend for life?
or
a partner that Might make you happy for the rest of your life?