How to take over the world?

KlodaX

I'm thinking ... get a group of people who know how to use computers...

k thats my contribution... n e one else got any suggestions?

Kold

You put thrusters to maximum, it shifts into the overtake lane n u speed right past

KlodaX

space cadet

Seraphina

pffff i cant let my secrets out
sutty's spies are everywhere!

we are currently locked in a battle for possesion of the world.

....
i've said too much already
/me looks about suspiciously and runs off

Kold

You may not know but I run the world and im not tellin u sh1t :P





btw im buzzing off pills omg posting on boards when drugged is fun

LegacyUser

ONE MILLLIIIOOOONNNN DOLLARS

KlodaX

see dats the problem there... you need to work together people!

... weapons of mass destruction may come in handy too.... know where we can get these?

LegacyUser

Originally posted by KlodaX
see dats the problem there... you need to work together people!

... weapons of mass destruction may come in handy too.... know where we can get these?

ill sell ya some for ...... ONE MILLLIIIOOOONNNN DOLLARS !!!!!!!

Kold

Oh yeah and Seraphina and sutty.... You guys are WAAAAAY off

TheSonOfBattles

The american's are usually willing to sell you weapons of mass destruction. Heck they'll even train your evil minions for you.

Be warned, if you do anything with them, they'll be very annoyed though.

Grim

do you really need evil minions? lets look at this logically, computer nerds don't take over the world by battering people to death, now do they?

first, we need a plan. and a starting point. Yes, that would be a good way to begin.

LegacyUser

make a plan so, here it begins 21:51 6-1-2004, let us hatch a cunning plan to wipe away all before us an rule the world, glad to no i was here when it started, the name bananayoghurt will go down in history like karl marx ... /sob

Dooom

of course we could always take a leaf out of Dungeon Keeper's book? As long as i get to be the guy in the big chair with the black robe that slaps people for no reason (yeah i know that wasnt in the game but being a huge hand just sounds a bit silly). build massive dungeons about 76.34544421 metres all under the earth's crusts circumference. then emerge onto the surface n torture and kill all the stupid mortals and their normal ways. and somehow computers could fit into this...

Barry Aldwell

It's obvious that the only way to take over the world is to kill everyone that doesn't revere you like a god. That, or change your name to something really cool, like Max Power or Hank Scorpio.

LegacyUser

no good spike , my farts penetrate further than 76.34544421 meters below the crust, no safety there at all, goto plan b

dod

By all means, buy computers and all that yadda yadda yadda. However if you are intending to develop Weapons of Mass Desctruction, please ensure that the computers that you bought in step 1 are not Dells

A READER says he's just about to buy a Dell notebook [Why? Ed.] and was bemused to find the following question when he got to the e-till.

It said: "Will the product(s) be used in connection with weapons of mass destruction, i.e. nuclear applications, missile technology, or chemical or biological purposes? Yes or No"

He says that he wondered what would happen if he had answered "yes" to the question.

And he added that he also wanted a "Don't Know" button, because if it was stolen from him, who knows what might happen to it afterwards?

Presumably Dell is just covering itself in case someone links its notebooks to terrorism.

The obvious answer if you are a crazy psychotic making WMD is to buy a no-name brand.

The question is similar to the waiver forms visitors to the US have to fill in. It asks if you are or have ever been engaged in terrorism, whether you are a drugs dealer, and similar sort of questions.

But it's scarier in Indonesia - or it was. There was an attempted Communist insurrection in Indonesia in 1996. The last time we visited the country, during the Suharto regime, quite a few years ago, we noticed a warning saying that the possession of books with Chinese characters in them could result in the death penalty.

The British passport has Chinese characters in it, but we don't think Suharto was angling at this.

Barry Aldwell

So I have to unhook my Dell from that missile defence system I just had installed in my garden? Damn.

Mutant_Fruit

my idea involved getting everything to fart simutaenously, and then flicking a match out. Then, as it explodes in a nucler readtion, i'll run into my cardboard box bomb shelter and laugh.

Dooom

Originally posted by bananayoghurt
no good spike , my farts penetrate further than 76.34544421 meters below the crust, no safety there at all, goto plan b

well give me the depth limit that they do go to and go 17 metres below that and start digging slave! *slaps bananayoghurt for no reason really and goes back to planning evil schemes with hands in the Mr. Burns style*

LegacyUser

goes back to planning evil schemes with hands down Mr. Burns what ?

Mutant_Fruit

Exxxaaaaacccctly. D'oh.

ixoy

Well let's look at some possible options. A lot depends on what you're willing to sacrifice of the world.

1 - Engineer a devestating virus. Give yourself and cohorts the antidote. Blackmail the world into power, sending sample bodies to prove that you mean business [Yeah, yeah, some people know what program I've been watching!]

2 - If you want to use computers, go via the heart of the world: the stock market. Hack into Wall Street, for example, and work it in a way that devestates certain world economies. However, you use the stock so that you - from a base of power in some small corrupt nation - are able to cease power. Having crushed the world bank you could use your welath to assist the old nations in turn for certain assests - such as oil fields. For example, Russia - to pay off debts - sold off incredibly valuable oil resources in the Urals. You now have these assets. Eventually, an economic recovery will ensue - being that it's not plausible to control a devestated functioning world. The government will then look to you to lend out the resources you seized during the economic drought - you can then winnow your way into power, taking backhand deals from all politicans and consolidating your power. Actually - isn't this plan a bit too detailed?

Exit

For this thread? Yes.

DMT

I hope monty bans your ass....

whosurpaddy

well wee'l need plenty of hired goons for a start.

ixoy

Also make sure we're obeying the Evil Overlord list of do's and don'ts! Don't want some young upstart whippersnapper overthrowing us too early on!

SuperStudent

Become president of the U.S. Gradually introduce a massive propoganda campaign and ban foreign media.
Stage a reason to invade a country - ala something more modernly visable but similar to Hitler's Polish guards in Nazi Uniform plot. Invade said country, with the strenght and power of the U.S and no other super power to rival them little could stand in your way of expansion as long as you tie things up inside the Country to avoid revolution. Then expand & expand & expand. Oh and ban the Internet, otherwise you can't really block foriegn Media from entering the country.
Of course you'd have to be born in the U.S to do this.

AL][EN

Originally posted by KlodaX
... weapons of mass destruction may come in handy too.... know where we can get these?

http://www.villainsupply.com/

Originally posted by whosurpaddy
well wee'l need plenty of hired goons for a start.

again see http://www.villainsupply.com/ for all you terror needs

woosaysdan

we can hire pinky and the brain aswell

mr_angry

Begin by forming a company. Pretend its important. Then get somebody on Boards to vehemently slag it off unfairly. Sue Boards.ie, and take control for yourself when DeVore is penniless having been dragged through the courts. Now you have control of the Irish nerd population, you must begin a programme of propaganda and brain-washing. Pay Patrick Stewart to promote your ideals, and you'll soon have everybody worshipping you.

With the mass nerd-power behind you, you should then be able to hack into almost any computer system around the world. With the world on its knees, and you in charge of the world's nuclear arsenal via computer, you may now hold the world to ransom. Force them to make you overlord of the world. Except for Norn Iron - thats more trouble than its worth.

And then finally, kill Westlife. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

ykt0di9url7bc3

control the badgers

AL][EN

Originally posted by SearrarD
control the badgers

He who controls the badgers can bring the world to its knee's