Housemates

tinkerbell

Okay, sorry if this is on the wrong board, but I'm new here and I didn't know where exactly to put it so move it if needs be

I've a lil issue with the people I live with .... when we moved in, I brought up most of the plates, bowls, cups, mugs, glasses, etc. because I wanted to have a lot of stuff in case I would be askin people over n stuff. Except they took advantage of it - nobody else brought up anything. I don't mind them using my stuff except when I go to get a plate for my dinner, the plates are either not washed or if they are washed - not done properly. It's the same with the glasses, mugs, etc.

And tonight when I went to use my frying pan, it had vanished into thin air! I searched the whole kitchen and it wasn't anywhere to be found - this has happened a couple of times, my frying pan and / or saucepan will disappear for a few days and then magically turn up. It's quite worrying when I think of what a frying pan or saucepan could be doing in one of their bedrooms!!

That and them always making noise til about 2 in the morning right outside my bedroom door!

I know it probably seems a bit stupid, but it really is bothering me! And I'm not sure what to say to them because I don't want to create major friction between us.

Any ideas on what to do? Cheers folks

Molly

Had a similarish problem. My advice is to take your plates etc and lock them in your room, if you share a room get something you can lock and put them in there. They'll bring there own stuff soon.

girldef

unfortunately there's nuthin you can do about the frying pan or saucepan issue apart from asking your housemates for them back. You could buy paper plates which would solve the problem where there is no dishes to use.
the noise thing is a pain in the ass which is why i sacrificed a big downstairs room for the box room upstairs...maybe they'll shut up soon it being nearly exam time!

Good luck...

trilo

if i was living with people like that i would have them killed by now..

ever think of moving out.. thats what i did...well two other girls i used to live wiht were bitches..well one was a with the other just up her own ass..adn they never did there dishes ... `maybe they did 2 days later...and it was soooo annoying cuz that emant i ended up washing up any time i wanted to eat...

in my new house i live with my fella and my friend and her part time live in boyfriend ans another guy..we all have to do a weekly clean..and we have to wash plates after us.

try coming to some sort of arrangment

tinkerbell

No ... movin out would be too much of an inconvenience for me. Like I'm quiet and don't bother them at all, but the whole thing with my stuff disappearing just really miffed me tonight.

I reckon once I do find the missing items, I will put them all in my room! Muahahahaha, that'll show em!

But thanks folks for the help, I'll keep ye posted on what happens when I confront em!

girldef

are the rest of them friends previous to movin in or something?
be carefull u dont separate ur self from the rest of the house! (unless they are assholes)

tinkerbell

Yeah one of them is, but the rest I didn't know until I moved in. I get on grand with them all, that's why I didn't really want to say anything in case it made things awkward.

zAbbo

Take all your stuff back to your room, be assertive, its your stuff, look them in the eye and whisper "ill ave u"

embraer170

Well I live with two girls and I think we get on ok and in any case, I don’t see much of them since I am hardly ever home. I won’t say anything about the dishes because that is minor but what drives me mad is that they cannot keep the floors clean. All kinds of stains, dirt, food rests, leaves etc. and if I don’t do the cleaning, nobody else will. Exactly the same with emptying the bin.

girldef

maybe u should say it to the one you know! im sure your not the only one in the house its pissing off!
I get on grand with my housemates buts there is always some things that get on each others nerves (i.e. hair in the shower....grr) but the sooner its said the sooner it'll be forgotten about, im sure they wont get pissed off if u just ask where the things are.... if u lock them in ur room they will be!

tinkerbell

Yah, it's the same with the washing up liquid, they jus let it run out and not buy anymore! And considering I bought the first batch of it, you'd think someone else might buy the second! So I was away for a few days, and they still hadn't bought any, and I was like "umm aren't ye getting any washing up liquid"? Response - "we'll get it on Sunday" (it was Thursday) and "but I'm sure they'll have some down in the shop if you go". AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!

lol

p.s. - they are all male - it was some kind of random selection thing coz we live on campus

Lump

Idea: Instead of wasting time telling us all the problems you have with them..... TELL THEM! I am a clever chap..... Seriously just tell them to stop taking the piss. About the noise.... go downstairs whenever they are making noise and tell them to shut the **** up. This works for me.... maybe cause I'm twice the size of any of the people I live with.


John

ur mentor

once in a house of four guys we had two that refused to pull their weight. last straw was underwear in fridge drying out (like cheese man). Nice guys and great craic and always paid rent on time etc but boy they were slobs.
So my mate and I simply told other guys landlord(son of a b****) had put up rent by £20 each per week and we used cash to hire a woman to clean every 2-3 days.
Their folks stumped up.
To reduce late visiting hours I simply put on music they hated and they either left with friends or we had a chance to compromise. ~I stop music they stop noise- fair swop.
All this by the way was after talking about in man to man as it were. May seem cruel but we had no choice as money was scarce and we needed them to chip into rent, also exams looming and didn't have time for a lot of BS

PS exams are more important than missing frying pans

skipn_easy

As the other posters have said I think it would be a good idea to talk to your housemates. While its hard not wanting to cause conflict its not a good idea to take all your stuff and keep it in your room. Sure if you just say one day that you think you all need to sit down and organise a rota or something about cleaning the house then you should be able to come to some sort've agreement. If after discussing it like adults they're still uncooperative then you can go to more drastic lengths like keeping your stuff in your room etc. But communication is the first step imho.

Oriel

I agree with Lump - talk to them. Let them know that it's annoying you, tell them to stop it, see how that goes. Get them when they're all in the sitting room or something. If they don't do anything about it then that's the time to take some action.

neoB

try coming to some sort of arrangment

That works, like pretty much what everyone else said, talk to them. They are just going to keep doing that until you say something and lay it down. They could have thought you didn't care, (as lame as that sounds, its a possiblity)If they want to still be like that then take your junk and lock it up. Its not fair for you to have to do that, but do what you have to do. That will teach them.

Third_Echelon

with regards to buying stuff and things like that... one person in the house has to be assertive and take the inititive to buy the stuff you need... what we used to do in our gaf in college was every sunday night when we all arrived up, i went around with a jar and told everyone to throw in €2 or €3. There were five of us so €10 - €15 was more than enough to buy washing up liquid, bog roll etc for a week... the kitty built up over the year.. any money left was used for a huge session.. bought a load of drink with it..

If you give them a bit of hassle about the dishes they will eventually do it. Embarrassing them about it or in front of women usually works... One of the guys i used to lived with went out running a lot and used to leave his smelly gear at the bottom of the bedroom... yuck.... anyway we mentioned this one night in front of a load of girls from his class... i dont remember having that problem again...

Noisy housemates is always a pain in the ass... its the toughest situations of the lot to deal with... theres only one way of dealing with this... tell them to shut the fook up... plain and simple..

ahh college... you gotta love it...

Civilian_Target

Living in a house with 6 other guys here and I know exactly how you feel. Fortunately for me there are 3 of us who are likeminded in wanting to live in a reasonably clean environment, so it's not so bad because you're not cleaning on your own. Here's what I find helps, though.

If no one else empties the bin, do it yourself, and always do so before it gets too full, because otherwise it's a real pain to get it outside.

If you cook for yourself, wash all the dirty stuff near the sink at the same time you wash the cooking stuff, and then put it in the drawers again first thing the following morning so it doesn't get dirty from sitting beside the sink.

Take hostage one of everything you need (knife, fork, plate, etc), and keep them in your room, and keep them clean. That way if stuff evapourates, your not left out in the cold.

Don't bother trying to keep the whole house clean, restrict yourself to certain areas and just keep them clean (ie. 1 toilet, 1 worktop, 1 sink, 1 cooker, 1 fridge etc.) Obviously this task is made easier when you have 2 of those things.

Nag. Things like toilet roll and binbags have to be bought and you'll never be able to pay for them all yourself, so get a fund together to pay for them. Its effort, but has to be done.

Hope this helps.

TheSonOfBattles

Meself and me roommates had a problem like this also. Shortly after we moved in we realized all 3 of us were lazy a**holes. The cleaning rarely got done, and it got very annoying when it came to the point every few weeks where there was no cutlery. The cutlery was all stuff that was provided for us so there was no one particular person who was pissed off bout it or anything.

In the end, we got a box, put all the cutlery in the house into it and took out one of each item for ourselves. 1 knife, 1 fork, 1 spoon, 1 small spoon, 1 plate, 1 small plate, 1 bowl, 1 cup and 1 glass each. The rest was left in the box, and the box put into our server room and outta the way.

Now we each look after our own gear, clean it when we want, and never have the cleaning problem again. And if it does come to the point where we have company coming, we know where all the extra stuff is, and we know it's useable and presentable.

A bit slovenly and drastic a solution yes, but it works for us, so.

red vex

easy solution

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=126922

i also hate when people take my big dinner plate

tinkerbell

Well ........... !!!!!

Today, I asked one of 'em did he know where it might be, or had he seen it because it jus disappeared ... he seemed a bit insulted over it, sayin that I was accusin him. I was like I'm not accusin you, you're jus the first person I've seen here since the wkend so I thought I'd ask you if you'd seen it, that is all.

Second person said "maybe someone jus lent it someone else", and shrugged it off as if it was no biggie.

I jus saw red! I was really miffed, but I din't even bother responding to it, jus said if they saw it to let me know.

Third person - I said "you haven't seen my frying pan, have you? It's jus that tiz gone missin and I need it". He tells me he gave it to some guy upstairs!!!!!!! I don't even know who "the guy upstairs" is?!?!!

This must have happened last Thursday / Friday because I hadn't seen it since then. And he was like "but he's dropping it down tonight".

I dunno if this is the general consensus, to jus let some stranger borrow someone else's stuff, but if that's what they are gonna do, I think I'll jus go ahead and put all the stuff in my room from now on. I'm really mad now about it, I can't believe he'd jus give it to someone else without even askin - considerin this is one of the people who brought up no pots, pans, cutlery, plates, mugs, everything!

I don't think I'm over-reacting, coz it's on a rare occasion that something gets me annoyed but I don't think they respect me n my stuff at all.




P.S. - thanks red vex for the idea on the house but tiz jus so much more convenient for me livin here, even if I don't particularly like it.

Beruthiel

ok
you know what, I'd lose it in a house like that

go to his room, take whatever you think he'll miss the most, then stash it somewhere, when he asks if anyones seen it, tell him you lent it to some bloke next door... if he throws a fit, tell him you'll get it back just as soon as you get your pan

sause for the goose!

ford fiesta

I think living with people(i.e. strangers) is one of the toughest things in life to do.

Can't wait to get my own house, *some* day.

I can't wait...Walking aroung the house in the nip...etc.

tinkerbell

Yeah I can't wait to get my own set of bricks after all this hassle! At least I'd know where all my stuff is, and it wouldn't be in the hands of strangers!

sceptre

Originally posted by tinkerbell
I don't think I'm over-reacting

You're not overreacting.

You're living with special little idiots.

ixoy

You're not over-reacting. I get irritated when my flatmate doesn't clean the damned dishes properly - I'll be drying them when I see food stains still on them. I mean how bloody hard is it to wash a plate and ensure it's clean?!

Anyway, there's two of them. How about asking them both to clean up? Now let's say it doesn't work. One of them, one day, suddenly vanishes. Not a word goodbye and you just know absolutely *nothing* of where he's gone. The other flatmate will then be very helpful, especially if you keep telling that it's OK and he doesn't have to NEAR that BIG MOUND OF DIRT IN THE GARDEN AND HE SHOULD STAY AWAY BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT GOOD CLEAN MEN DO.

tinkerbell

Originally posted by ixoy
The other flatmate will then be very helpful, especially if you keep telling that it's OK and he doesn't have to NEAR that BIG MOUND OF DIRT IN THE GARDEN AND HE SHOULD STAY AWAY BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT GOOD CLEAN MEN DO.

Haha, that's brilliant! Although if I said that, they might get a straight jacket I'll go on a top secret mission either tomorrow night or the following morning and get all my stuff out of that place! And if they ask where it all went, I'll jus say "uuuh, I lent it to the strangers upstairs who obviously already are familiar with my cooking utensils!"

oneweb

If yer going back to the folks over the holidays, bring yer stuff wit ya (if possible), saying yez are having the extended family over etc etc. Bring back up enough stuff for yourself in the New Year and, as mentioned, stash it. (You won't seem to be hogging all the crockery!)

whosurpaddy

Originally posted by Beruthiel
go to his room, take whatever you think he'll miss the most, then stash it somewhere, when he asks if anyones seen it, tell him you lent it to some bloke next door... if he throws a fit, tell him you'll get it back just as soon as you get your pan

i think this is the only sane (funny) option available to you. you have to do this.


incidentally. he gave it to the guy upstairs. how did that happen. who asks their neighbour for a frying pan ffs

anthonymcg

Originally posted by whosurpaddy
i think this is the only sane (funny) option available to you. you have to do this.

incidentally. he gave it to the guy upstairs. how did that happen. who asks their neighbour for a frying pan ffs

Bloke 1: How's it going you don't have anything to eat do ya?
Bloke 2: Who are you?
Bloke 1: How's it going, I'm John. I live upstairs.
Bloke 2: Alright man. Here stall it I'll see what I can find.
Bloke 2: <Goes searching in the kitchen and only finds a frying pan>
Bloke 2: We haven't got any food. The bird we live with didn't buy any but I do have this. <hands over frying pan>

yossarin

Bloke 1: How's it going you don't have anything to eat do ya?...

what happened to the traditional cup of sugar ?

sit them down and explain your position. do it around rent time so they're actually listening.
other than that - take home all of your stuff at christmas, and bring back 1 cup, plate, knife, spoon, etc.
if they moan about this then tell them that you're sick of cleaning up after them. you're not their freakin mother ffs

/ by the way I am living with someone who is a bit dirty, and i can't fix it, so i am venting...

whosurpaddy

oh btw if your lookin for something to take to get their attention, u cant go wrong with something that will interfere with their tv watchin. say the ntl cable, or if u have digital take the cable going from the box to the tv. or the digicard. its something so small but will piss them off no end.

also. claim you gave it to the guy at number (insert random house number on your street here - preferably someone you know they dont like) and send one of them to that house to retrieve it. when they get back empty handed say "maybe it was the house next to that one" after they've done this 2 or 3 times, wait till theve gone to another house, then put the cable back in and be sitting watching tv when he gets back. claim the person in the first house he went to has just returned it.

tinkerbell

still no sign of it .......... i'd say your man upstairs prolly thinks he'll keep it for as long as he possibly can, omg, some people!!!!!!

i haven't seen the guy who lent it at all today, i reckon he's avoidin me i asked him yesterday did he get it back, and he was like uh no, sorreeee (really sarcastic). i felt like grabbin a saucepan and beltin him over the head with it!

i will get my sweeeet revenge!

ColinM

Look-it, this is a situation you can't win. They're not going to change no matter what way you decide to play this.

Just move out before this escalates.

You say it's convenient for you to live there? Screw convenience. Just move out before things start getting nasty.

zAbbo

Cant see things not turning nasty here.

Ichiro

Oh would drive me mad

As a fellow student - a little bit older then the rest
who has lived on their own for a long time.
It can be a serious strain,
I tried to tell them to clean but by asking them
they would not do it. So i say nothing and then they do it.

So i conformed to their ways.

I have to bite my tongue i hate it.

Moving out is probably the ans.
Can you not talk to student accomodation abt the situation?

Oh and the guy who gave your frying pan away !

BEAT him with it!:mad:

Gordon

Erm... can you not ask the guy upstairs for your frying pan back?

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Gordon
Erm... can you not ask the guy upstairs for your frying pan back?

indeed

hello
blah from downstairs gave you the lend of my pan, could I have it back please

whosurpaddy

Originally posted by Beruthiel
indeed

hello
blah from downstairs gave you the lend of my pan, could I have it back please

i still think hiding their tv cable and humiliating them a little will make u feel better about it, and make them think before they "lend" anything else of yours again.

if you do end up moving out do something to make em remember u by.

tinkerbell

Originally posted by Gordon
Erm... can you not ask the guy upstairs for your frying pan back?

nope because i have no idea who "the guy upstairs" is! went in this mornin, and there it was in the press. now that i have it back, i can beat your man wit it! muahaha

scojones

I've a similar problem to this one: In my house i live with my gf, a fella, his gf and her sis. I've lived with the guys gf and my gf since first year, it now being third (confused? ) The guys gf, we'll call her claire, is a right asshole. Where to start.... Ok she's as loud as loud can be. She's an attention seeking person. Hense why she is so loud. In first year i moved in to a house with one of my friends, and claire and her friend moved in too (friend soon became my gf and still is). After i started going out with my gf, claire got very annoying. More than usual. If we were in our room she'd burst in w/o knocking. She'd throw my gf looks if she sat beside me on the couch. She'd go mad if i helped my gf with anything like the clean up, or if we went for a quiet drink. But i let it all slide under the mat. In second year we all moved in together (cept my friend didn't, claire's sister did and so did some guy from cork). Claire was going with a guy from her home town for 4 years. She's such a slapper....
In the two years i know her she shagged her ex's best friend, she shagged 4 different lads in one night, she shagged my best friend (went 150 km to my home town to shag him btw!) and all while she was going with that guy. She also shagged the guy from cork that moved in (now her boyfriend) while going with the guy from her home town. In second year she became more annoying. She decided to make up a roster. so every night someone does all the dishes. only thing is i never have brekki / lunch their cause i eat in college so once a week after using just 4 plates all week, i have to wash everything.. But anyway..

she's such a money grabbing b!tch => she was supposed to go to robbie williams with her ex (at the time her bf), so he gave her to two tickets, they were supposed to be going in a group, she dicides to keep the two tickets and bring the guy she's going with now instead - her ex called her and she told him to **** off.

she got her car for free off a priest, her ex did everything to the car, alloys ect ect ect and he paid for it - yet when her sister gives out about the cost of running her car, claire goes on about how she had to pay for everything.

she borrowed over 2000 from her ex while going with him, told him she'd give it back to him in the summer when she started work, but when she did start work she said she needed to pay off her car (WHICH SHE GOT FOR FREE!) and didn't pay him, or tell him she got it for free. talk about high maintanence.

she's done the dirt on her current bf twice, he doesn't know this...
all she cares about is herself => an example...

one of our friends which is a good friend of claires.. she lost her baby this summer, and her bf then died a month later.. claire didn't even try to contact her all summer (thye live 10 min drive apart)... So now that girl is going with someone else and he's moving to where we go to college, for 10 weeks on a fas course... Our friend asked if he could stay in our place.. and she objected, she said her bf doesn't like meeting new people YET HE MOVED INTO OUR HOUSE NOT KNOWING ANYONE! what utter crap.

she picks at everything myself or my girlfriend does, if she was a guy i'd have kicked several different shades of sh!t out of her by now. Everytime my gf goes to study claire goes into the kitchen and starts singing as loud as she can, the kitchen is right next to my gf's room. It's all stuff like that that has been building up for years.

She went out last weekend in a pub and was flaunting her bf's credit card around the place. How sad is that. My gf has a credit card belonging to me (cause we are going out 2 years now, and she's sometimes stuck for money) but she never flaunts it around, actually she rarely ever uses it and asks me before hand if it's ok, whereas claire took out 150 that night - and he still doesn't know.

she treats everyone like sh!t, she's a spoilt little brat. So trust me kid, you don't have it that bad. I could go on and on for hours but it's too much of a rant as it is.

ColinM

The guys gf, we'll call her claire, is a right asshole...

Nice rant there, S. I'll bet that felt better to get that off your chest.

I'll also bet you 10 pints and a carton of smokes that she's good looking. Only people who are good looking get away with that amount of sh1t.

I think the problem here is that people in general are selfish assholes. It'd be nice to think that most people are nice, but I'm afraid that's simply not the case. Everybody's (apart from me of course, cos I'm totally sound) an asshole.

DapperGent

Originally posted by sjones
rant

I've no idea why people put up with shit like this. If she starts making noise while your girlfriend is trying to study why doesn't she tell her to "Shut the fuck up, I'm studying." , if she makes up a roster you don't like say "Shove your fucking roster up your hole.", if she gives you looks when you sit beside your girlfriend say "what's your fucking problem?" and tell her that if she cheats on her boyfriend again you'll tell him "exactly what a dirty fucking loose skank" she is.

Use fuck a lot.

Works wonders.

Life is too short to try and get on with fucking assholes, even if you live with them.

henbane

Originally posted by DapperGent
Life is too short to try and get on with fucking assholes, even if you live with them.

Especially when you use the good sponge to clean the cooker

DapperGent

Originally posted by henbane
Especially when you use the good sponge to clean the cooker

The sponge!!! The good sponge!! All dirty!!

Fucking madman.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by DapperGent
I've no idea why people put up with shit like this. If she starts making noise while your girlfriend is trying to study why doesn't she tell her to "Shut the fuck up, I'm studying." , if she makes up a roster you don't like say "Shove your fucking roster up your hole.", if she gives you looks when you sit beside your girlfriend say "what's your fucking problem?" and tell her that if she cheats on her boyfriend again you'll tell him "exactly what a dirty fucking loose skank" she is.

Use fuck a lot.

Works wonders.

Life is too short to try and get on with fucking assholes, even if you live with them.

I agree with this approach. Use of the word fúck is important. Why do people put up with so much shíte? I'd have kicked her the fúck outta the gaff by now.

growler

ahhh shared college house , seems inevitable that any random collection of 4 random irish college going strangers will result in 1 shag 1 fight 1 broken limb 1 missing kitchen implement

in my UL days a housemate had a habit of eating the yummy food i regularly stole from home, my cherished orange juice in particular would be gone by tuesday. solution : i added a healthy portion of toilet cleaner to it, it must have caused some discofort, but my stuff was left alone from then on. Inevitably we came to blows anyway a few months later over something else.

These idiots are not worth the hassel, but neither is getting in a tizzy over a frying pan tbh.
Move out after christmas.

patch

Originally posted by growler
i added a healthy portion of toilet cleaner to it, it must have caused some discofort

That's the spirit! LoL

Mocking Burd

I can't believe you are still sharing with her - would ye not just move the hell out and leave the wagon behind?

tinkerbell

ugh, it's actually getting worse ...

I tried talkin to them, they jus mocked me about it. Movin out is not an option as all the rent has been paid by my folks til next May.

I stayed at my bf's house from Thursday night through to Monday, and when I went, there was no washin up liquid there, and when I came back Monday, the sink was stacked high with dishes. In the meantime, I had bought my own washing up liquid and left it in my room coz I'm sick of buyin it for them. So I had to take all that stuff out of the sink in order to wash my plate. (Nobody except me was there at this stage). Still no washing up liquid bought by them, btw. When the rest of them got back, they were slaggin me sayin "look at all that washin up you have to do". I was like "that stuff ain't mine and I'm really pissed off about it." And they jus laughed at me, said it was my stuff to clean and went off. When the last person came in and saw all the dirty dishes stacked beside the sink, all I have to say, if looks could kill. Like how else was I supposed to wash my own things?!

They give out to me how I cook my food in my frying pan using my wooden stirring thing, givin out about how sometimes I could scratch the frying pan - I'm like "it's my pan, for **** sake, I can rip it up if I bloody well want!"

I had jus washed my mug (keep my mugs and glasses in my room coz before when I went to get one, they were never there) and put it down for like five minutes to dry off, and one of them comes in and picks it up and uses it. So now it's left out there.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh, I am so god damn pissed off over it all. I wish I could move out, but that ain't an option so I guess I'm stuck here. Unless I said it to the manager over the apartments or somethin, I dunno.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by tinkerbell
ugh, it's actually getting worse ...

I tried talkin to them, they jus mocked me about it. Movin out is not an option as all the rent has been paid by my folks til next May.

All YOUR rent or ALL the rent? Why is it paid all the way to May? Ask for your share back and move the fúck out. It seems like you're a bit of a pushover if they just atke the píss out of you like that, and they seem like a real true bunch of pricks.

You've gotta get out, or start getting really viscious.