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Larry and Jesus

  • 28-11-2003 11:36am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 937 ✭✭✭


    Possibly the second day Jesus was on the cross, a great mass of his followers was summoned to the bottom of the hill to pay respects to their savior. But, the Roman army had been guarding the cross and keeping the Christian population under control.
    When on the cross, Jesus spotted one of his beloved followers. He called to him, "Larry, come to me Larry I have words for you."
    Being so lyal to his Lord, Larry decided he had to make it to speak to Jesus. He met the first guard, "My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has summoned me, let me pass."
    The first gurad replied, "f*ck off you annoying little p*ss," and with that he stabbed him the the stomach with a big fat knife.
    Determined, Larry stumbled by. He met the second guard, "My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has summoned me, let me pass."
    The second guard replied, "My a*s you little c*cksucker, get your filthy a*s back with the other Christians," and he amputated his right arm with a broad sword.
    Determined, Larry crawled by until he met a third guard, "My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has summoned me, let me pass."
    The thrid guard looked at Larry and spit on him as he said, "go eat a fat d*ck you stupid sh*t," and he jammed a spear through his back.
    Holding on to the last shred of life, Larry squirmed up the hill to the bottom of the cross, "Jesus, my Lord and Savior, you have summoned me and i have answered your call. What is your biding?"
    With that, Jesus said, "Hey Larry, I can see your house from up here. :)"


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,483 ✭✭✭Töpher


    :D heh


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,146 ✭✭✭SoundWave


    very very very old... but like it... i think i remember hearing it about 10+ years ago


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭waffles


    wasnt that in the life of brian?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 593 ✭✭✭Carbiens


    who the **** is larry ;):p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55,571 ✭✭✭✭Mr E


    Should be Peter..... the 3 betrayals should be mentioned at the start too. I hate when good jokes are mangled.... :rolleyes:

    - Dave.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,414 ✭✭✭LoneGunM@n


    An oldie but a goodie :D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,253 ✭✭✭gobby


    :D:D:D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,758 ✭✭✭Peace


    Big belly laugh....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28,128 ✭✭✭✭Mossy Monk


    very funny :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,726 ✭✭✭quank


    lol
    its funny coz its true


    oh, when will that larry ever learn? :rolleyes:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,778 ✭✭✭✭Kold


    when he does, i dont wanna know....


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