The, uh, "joys" of sex

TheWolf

The following are all replies that women have put on British Child
Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's Details.
These are genuine excerpts from the forms (names removed).

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind.I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number?

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the Door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and That he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he informs me that do
so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for
the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by
thecountry. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies Look
the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8. [name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with Him
can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember
for sure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party [address given], mine might have remained unfertilised.

Capt'n Midnight

Originally posted by TheWolf
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

Not sure if urban myth or not but a german woman fainted when she had twins - one was black and one white - different fathers...

ai ing

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and That he is Christ risen again.

lol
brill

Barry Aldwell

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
Not sure if urban myth or not but a german woman fainted when she had twins - one was black and one white - different fathers...

She happened to ovulate 2 eggs instead of 1 and have sex with 2 men in 2 nights, and both eggs were fertilised by different groups of sperm.

Even weirder is the woman that was impregnated by a bullet in World War 1. Lets just say the bullet took a soldiers testicle on a little trip through her.

Capt'n Midnight

AFAIK that was the american civil war. And he married her later on and had 5 children , none of whom looked as like him as the first one. - But bullets would be very hot so maybe not true..

Da_cOmRaDe_MiKe

and 1 time at band camp i stuck a flute in my special area and i had mr. brannigans baby 9 months later...

my mommy didnt like me any more............

Agent7249

Originally posted by Da_cOmRaDe_MiKe
and 1 time at band camp i stuck a flute in my special area and i had mr. brannigans baby 9 months later...

my mommy didnt like me any more............

Excellent lol

quank

man, those were terrible imho

Capt'n Midnight

http://www.thedamnedestthing.com/page11.html

This is the strangest story I have ever read. During the American Civil War, a soldier was shot in one testicle by a musket ball. At the same time and near the same place, a young 16-year-old girl was wounded in the stomach by a musket ball. The same Doctor treated both people and they both recovered from their wounds, although the soldier did loose one testicle.

A few months later, the young girl was brought back to the same Doctor. She was obviously pregnant. The Doctor examined her and was surprised to discover that she was still a virgin. The Doctor may have had a suspicion as to how she became pregnant, but kept his theory to himself. In due time, the Doctor was the one that helped the young girl deliver a healthy and normal baby boy.

The soldier that was wounded and the girl only lived a few miles apart, and this Doctor knew them both. After a couple of years, the Doctor could see that the baby boy was "the spitting image" of the soldier. When the Civil War ended, the Doctor introduced the soldier and the young girl. He told them his theory: that it was the musket ball that shot off the soldier's testicle that made the young girl pregnant.

After the soldier saw the girl's young son, he began to formally court her. A short time later, they were married. They had a long and happy life together. They had other children together, and the same Doctor helped deliver each baby.

No doubt all of them were happy ever after.