Chew on this...

TheWolf

Paddy was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an English tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

Paddy politely ignored the englishman who nevertheless started up a conversation.

The Englishman snapped his gum and said "Do you Irish people eat the whole bread?"

Paddy frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast and replied "Of course".

The Englishman blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In England we only eat whats inside. We collect the crusts in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Ireland".

The Englishman had a smirk on his face. Paddy listened in silence.

The Englishman persisted. "Do you eat jam with the bread?"

Sighing, Paddy replied "Of course." Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Englishman said, "We don't. In England we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them , transform them into jam and sell it to Ireland."

Paddy then asked "Do you have sex in England?" The Englishman smiled and said, "Why of course we do."

Paddy leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

"We throw them away of course."

Now it was Paddys turn to smile. "We don't. In Ireland, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to England. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?!!"

Pugsley

Power to the paddies

kmart6

hahaha class,f**kin hate the english,tkink they no all,ill show them

Töpher

some good stuff there!

Da_cOmRaDe_MiKe

kmart6 i wudnt speak like that again. im english. and i reckon a lot of people here are also english.

yea its nice to make a few jokes but not funny when you say "i fu*k hate the english"

so please lay off the racist and vulgar comments.

dont forget we are people just like you.
and i reckon most of your decendants are english but you probably dont know about it. :mad: :mad:

The_Goose

i reckon most of your decendants are english

well if thats not an insult i dont know what is!!!!


joke was good though!

Dont Ban Me

I think its called arrogance!

Big Eyes

Originally posted by Da_cOmRaDe_MiKe

dont forget we are people just like you.
and i reckon most of your decendants are english but you probably dont know about it. :mad: :mad:

:rolleyes:

ColinM

Originally posted by Da_cOmRaDe_MiKe
kmart6 i wudnt speak like that again. im english. and i reckon a lot of people here are also english.

yea its nice to make a few jokes but not funny when you say "i fu*k hate the english"

so please lay off the racist and vulgar comments.

dont forget we are people just like you.
and i reckon most of your decendants are english but you probably dont know about it. :mad: :mad:

You mean either antecedents or ancestors, not descendants.
I agree with you though in what you meant. On behalf of the intelligent (and totally sound) people of the Irish population, I apologise.

For some stupid reason loads of Irish (generally the ones who are least capable of independent thought) think that they are meant to dislike the English. These people also consider themselves to be not racist.

No English people were ever anything but nice to me, and I've known plenty.

That joke sounded like it was intended for the American market and originally had different protagonists. Some thick mucksavage doubtless used all his brain power translating it for the home market where the Irishman would be the "winner". "Yay", he probably said, "this will get the sasnachs back for those X-hundred years of oppression!"

Is there anyone living in Ireland who can say that they have been "opressed" by anyone from England at all lately BTFW??

Incidentally, it is quite possible that kmart6 was parodying the type of contemporary Irish mentality that "hates" the English.

The_Goose

i dont hate the english, i have many great english friends and relations!

what i do hate though is

i reckon most of your decendants are english

that just stirs the ****

*335 years

Agent7249

I think he meant a dislike for the english, not necessarily hate!

The joke was quite good, excellent end, had me chuckling for a while

Kold

Its prejudicial, it's hate, it's ignorance and it shouldn't be tolerated

Tyrrial

somebody laugh before this gets violent.

i have nothing against the english... it's thoughs dirty irish that get me.. walking around... breathing loudly and all the rest... should be all shot*


*I hate every race equily and hence am not a racist

Big Eyes

To just hate the English because of what your History teacher told you in school is a bit brain dead. To remember History is important but to base your opinions on something that happened 100-200yrs ago is braindead. But infairness, I work with English people and know English people, they do have a kind of superiority complex about them. Some just think we are thicks.. then again a lot of us are. But for every Irish muppet rehashing something that happened in 1742 you have an English windbag claiming that most Irish people love Gerry Adams and are racist biggots.

Kold

idiots, we have em in every country m8. I mean to say Irish people = the best would be to ignore those shellsuit wearing m0ngs with their celtic jerseys and sovereign rings drinking their dutch gold n beating up 'posh wankas' fer bein gay!

eddhorse

okey dokey , what just happened to the so called humour thread???
calm it down people!!!:D

quank

stirring back on topic.....



GREAT JOKE!

Mossy Monk

great joke

BOO for the politicalness that took over the thread :mad:

ColinM

I think you could see the ending of that joke coming easier than a herd of stampeding elephants.

ai ing

Its all calmed down and not a mod to be seen

Peace

Originally posted by Mossy Monk
great joke

BOO for the politicalness that took over the thread :mad:

Here here, you want that argument ....take it to humanities....(i've always wanted to say that)

Da_cOmRaDe_MiKe

what have i done!!!

this was meant to just be a shut up reply.... not a big debate!!!

none the less i had more fun reading all your replies than the original joke...

but yea some people in this country do go over board against english people....

its not like the occupation of ireland ended last week and irish people are still dying from war wounds....

it happened decades ago...

GET OVER IT