Ultimate Computer

malico

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo.

"This", he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".

At which a Clever Dick stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Ultimate Computer's microphone.

"Where is my father"? he asked.

There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.

On it were printed the words "Fishing off Florida".

Clever Dick laughed.

"Actually", he said, "my father is dead"!

It had been a tricky question!!

The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?

Clever Dick thought, went to the Ultimate Computer and this time said: "Where is my mother's husband"?

Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights.

And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words: "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Florida".

Mossy Monk

i like

Vader

v.g
take that wise guy!

Pugsley

hehehe, smart PC

Capt'n Midnight

With the economy going down the tubes Yeltsin finally authorises the go ahead for the new supercomputer for planning. Six months later in Moscow Univesrity they go to inspect it. It's been fed all the data they have and is programmed to extrapolate in to the futures.
So they ask it some some questions about the year 2020.

How are relations with Bejing ? - Excellent
Will we still have a space program - Yes, with a colony on the moon
Will we have the worlds biggest army - Yes
Will unemployment have gone down ? - Yes

Finally out of curiousity one of them asks
What will the price of a loaf of bread be ? - 4 yuan.

quank

heehee, good joke

but eh... captnmidnight, i dont get it.... yuan?

no one give out to me, im just a boy

Vader

might it be yen? I too am lost

Mossy Monk

no Yuan is correct. Chinese currency i believe

OfflerCrocGod

Exelent Captain:D yep it's the Yuan Renminbi to give it it's full name; Chinas currency.

Jaeger

I heard the wise old man version and the punchline was

"Dead. And your father just landed a 15lb trout"

SoundWave

both v good