She calld me by "his" name

LegacyUser

From time to time by girlfriend calls me my her ex-bf's name accidently. It has happened about 3 or 4 times so far, we are going out together for about 2 and a half months. The most recent time was earlier this evening when I was talking to her on the phone. I pretended I did not hear it but it pissed me off a lot. The time before that when she done it I got quite annoyed with her and said I didn't want to hear his name again or hear anything about him. She apoligised and seemesd genuinely sorry.

I am just wondering what you guys and gals think about this. I wonder if she is still in love with him. They broke up about 1 month before I got together with her and they had been going out for about 1 and a half years. They were living together. He was the one who dumped her. When we got together at first, she used to talk about him quite a bit but doesn't anymore.

kaimera

he dumped her...she could still be holding onto some feelings for him. :-/

talk to her about it.

Boggles

Easy Peasy: Call her by your ex's name from time to time!

Stark

Some people are just like that with names. For example my mother always calls me in the order my sister's name, my brother's name and then my name.

It could be just force of habit for her, especially if she was going out with him for a long time.

jesus_thats_gre

Wouldnt make a big deal about it... I do it all the time, just being stupid.

sceptre

Originally posted by k.oriordan
For example my mother always calls me in the order my sister's name, my brother's name and then my name.

Ah, yours too? Mine never got anyone's right first time:D

My current GF called me by her ex's name once. I was acting the plonker (I always act the plonker but she's used to it now). Easy to explain (she was embarrassed enough that I did it for her). She associated the annoying bloke acting the plonker with her ex. See, easy.

It's almost certainly habit, plain and simple. I've done it occasionally in the past near the start of a relationship (but not, happily, with the current belle). It may be annoying but it will go away.

The Second

I hear ya ... had a similar situation... but only once ...it didn't happen again.

Try wearing a t-shirt with your name on it for a while. Tis a bit insensitive of her ....

For example my mother always calls me in the order my sister's name, my brother's name and then my name

its hardly the same as being called an ex's name

Sounds to me like she has feelings for the other guy still. How do you know that you're not just some sort of rebound guy?


Be a man, don't take any shít from this girl...

malico

Ha! That's nothing! one time I was with a girl and she shouted "oh Dave" during sex. I'd be happy except my name is Ian...


ahh well!

Caesar_Bojangle

My parents are forever calling me by my elder siblings names, I guess its down to laziness or force of habit. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, to be honest.

CodeMonkey

Spank her repeatedly while asking, 'What's my name?' It's fun if nothing else.

DapperGent

My Mum got into an awful habit once of calling me by the dog's name and the dog by mine (no seriously). I've never really dwelt on the underlying psychoses that might have been behind this. I am desperately trying not to now.

Though I mix up my two best mates names all the time. Especially when they're sitting beside each other.

I know it's different when it's your girlfriend, but it's unlikely to mean anything really. Try and make a joke out of it, putting her at her ease about it is probably the best way to prevent it happening anymore.



Actually fuck it. What CodeMonkey said.

Gordon

Maybe she is a woman in need of a man that is to fit into the general role of what a man should be for her life (y'know - the picket fence, the ring, the car, the picket fence, the house, the dog and millions of cats blah blah picket blah). Therefore the man in her life is actually the plan for her life, the man becomes the plan. Maybe she isn't looking at you and thinking of you in your whole personal entirety as a unique and beautiful individual - maybe she is looking at you and thinking 'picket fence' just like she thought at some points with her ex.

Maybe. And if so, then I suggest that you search the roots of your relationship, what she means to you and what do you think you mean to her.

Of course, it could just be a simple slip of the cunning tongue which is easy for scatterbrains (like myself) so deffo go for the slapping.

Zombrex

Originally posted by k.oriordan
Some people are just like that with names. For example my mother always calls me in the order my sister's name, my brother's name and then my name.

It could be just force of habit for her, especially if she was going out with him for a long time.

Yeah I agree .... I don't think it suggests that she is still mad about him or anything.

People just get used to things. I used to call a girl I was seeing "her" name, especiallly when I was very tired. It was just force of habit, and didn't have anything to do with me still having feelings for "her."

It is the same way I get called my brothers name. There are 2 girls in my house with very similar names and they are always getting mixed up.

People don't always think a lot about what they are actually saying, they just go into auto-pilot. Due to force of habit they just say the wrong word.

I wouldn't take it personally, and I certainly wouldn't sabotage the relationship if this is the only thing she is doing.

If anything I would take it almost as a compliment. You are now "that guy." She registers you as being the most important man in her life. Because "he" was the most important man for so long, her brain is trained to say his name when she thinks of the person she is mad about. But that is just habit.

It is an indication that to her, you are replacing (or have replaced) him (i mean that in a good way)

dod

Originally posted by CodeMonkey
Spank her repeatedly while asking, 'What's my name?' It's fun if nothing else.

Nice suggestion Sceptre.

WhiteWashMan

its an honest mistake by her.
sometimes it just takes time to get someone out of your system, and changing names is included in that.
often names that you are used to just pop into your mouth by accident. doesnt mean you are thinking about them, its just force of habit. i know, ive made that mistake myself, and i know how embarrassing and awkward it is for both people.

give her the benefit of the doubt, and talk to her if it písses you off. just mention that you dont appreciate being called the name of her ex. she will probably feel bad about it, and hopefully she can assure you that it is only a slip of the tongue.

besides, my mum still calls me Jack sometimes, who is my brother who died 13 years ago. but then again, my mum is a bit of a nutjob

on the other hand, if during sex she asks you if you mind if she calls you (insert ex's name here) then you are probably onto a loser

LegacyUser

i'd say that it is an accident on her part.
i know coz three weeks ago i split up with my bf whos name is aaron coz i fancied the arse off another fella whos kinda a mate of his called adam
and now i'm going out with a guy called adrian
three a's in the space of three weeks is kinda confusing, so far ive only called one by the wrong name to other people and not in front of any of them but im dreddin when it will happen coz i know that its gonna at some stage

super_furry

I wouldn't pay much mind to it. I once called a girlfriend by her best-mate's (who happened to be going out with my mate) name. I never even fancied her, but for some bizarre reason it just slipped out - I got into so much trouble over it, but it really was just a slip of the tongue, so to speak.

sceptre

Originally posted by dod
Nice suggestion Sceptre.

No, no, you're not pinning that on me. CodeMonkey said that.

Originally posted by DapperGent
My Mum got into an awful habit once of calling me by the dog's name and the dog by mine (no seriously).

Is your name "Indiana"?:D

Peace

Its probably force of habit.

Don't you ever mix up names??

Although, an hour or two of codemonkeys idea would certainly sort the problem out.

Zombrex

Originally posted by sceptre

Is your name "Indiana"?:D

That is the funnest thing I have read on boards in a long time

well done sceptre:D

DriftingRain

I do it all the time. Maybe it is a chick thing. We can never get names right. I call my brother Jason, Lucke then Kenneth, then finally I get to call him Jason. It's just a block!

oneweb

Originally posted by k.oriordan
Some people are just like that with names. For example my mother always calls me in the order my sister's name, my brother's name and then my name.

Crikey I thought mine's bad calling me my brother's name (well, more of a Pe-[MyName]). Being called your sis' name is bad!

LegacyUser

Just a joke, funny no?

daveg

Don't worry about it. I did it to my current girlfriend 6 years ago. Were still going out.

yossarin

My GFs mother cycles through a list of names (her sons, then the names of all the elder girls partners) before reaching me.

Typedef

Hey, so long as she doesn't say "Ride me big 'Brad'" during the throws of passion, it's all good.

N'est pas?

commuterised

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure it's not done intentionally. When you've spent a lot of time with someone you're used to saying their name alot so it pops out now and again.
I am always calling my husband by my brothers name and vice versa. It's harmless.

SheroN

I get around it by calling all males either Seamus or Jimmy, and all females Mary.

leonotron

I find the best thing to do is explain her mistake once and next time she does it just smack her in the mouth, nothing too hard, no lost teeth or anything. Just a fat lip so she remembers her mistake. She should soon start to think before she uses the ex's name by mistake.

Stark

Then she'll start calling you "Daddy"

Should just call everyone Dave.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by leonotron
I find the best thing to do is explain her mistake once and next time she does it just smack her in the mouth, nothing too hard, no lost teeth or anything. Just a fat lip so she remembers her mistake. She should soon start to think before she uses the ex's name by mistake.

:rolleyes:
leonotron, don't post in here unless you have some helpful advice

ToxicPaddy

One of my best mates was having sex with his ex when just as
she was about to climax she screamed his brothers name...

He wasnt one bit impressed, stopped right in the middle of it, put
on his clothes and walked out.. dumped her the next day...

She still says sorry everything she sees him, and he finished
it with her 5 months ago..

Shes still obviously mad about him and Ive asked him on many an
occassion was he being too harsh.. his reply.. "Fu*k Her"

Guess he's still not over it.. :rolleyes:

][cEMAN**

Originally posted by sceptre
Ah, yours too? Mine never got anyone's right first time:D

Yeah mine had the same problem. She would always call me by my fathers name then my sisters name, and sometimes just other people's names. So I would guide her through random names till she got mine right. She always got so flustered

Personally I don't think you should worry about it. As already said, sometimes it's force of habit. Even if she doesn't still have feelings for the person she might be thinking of them just for the sake of habit. Sometimes you just randomly think of situations and if you're used to a certain person being in them, then it's hard to shake the habit.

The only time I would get worried (and i'm not joking about this) would be during sex. If it happens then, she isn't concentrating on you at that point. If she calls out someone elses name then she is thinking of him. For fella's tbh it's OK because we have to think of other things/people in order to prevent or to stimulate climax. Because sometimes women just like you to be on time

McGinty

I would agree with some of the comments here, in that she is being forgetful, I;ll admit I am guilty of this, I always in the first couple of months in a relationship call the person by another name and its sooooo embarrising, because your not even thinking of the other person, its just a bloody habit.

However!! If she calls you by her ex's name after 3 to 6 months, then I believe it is more than a habit, and again when/if having sex, that would be a problem, although again i have nearly done that but managed to bite the tongue, but in honesty maybe I was thinking of the other person.

Victor

Originally posted by ToxicPaddy
One of my best mates was having sex with his ex when just as she was about to climax she screamed his brothers name...

Once it wasn't her own brother's name

For a longtime after I left a job, I kept calling every female friend "Suzanne" (we worked together for 5 years).

ToxicPaddy

Originally posted by Victor
Once it wasn't her own brother's name

Now that would have been just sick...

And i wouldnt have blamed him for dumping her..

now if it was her sisters name she called out, that wouldnt be
so bad as her sister is hot.. and i mean serious babe material
here..

DapperGent

Originally posted by sceptre
Is your name "Indiana"?:D

I could have dealt with that. The dogs name was (and is) "Sparky".

Oh man the shame.

vac

Dip her nose in her own piss, she'll think twice next time.

Beruthiel

vac
welcome to Bannedsville
population – you
B

Beths TM

loismustdie

force of habit could make her call you the wrong name, she had a life before you and she can't be just expected to forget it. so what if she still has some feelings for her x, would ou not be better to talk to her than telling her you don't wanna hear about him! is this your first proper relationship?

bean

i have done this to a girlfriend and i can honestly say that it was force of habit, i did not have any feelings for the ex, dont worry bout it

Doctor Spoc

Maybe, not trying to be sick or anything!, but maybe she thinks of him while with you , such as while you, ahem, "preform" has she ever mentioned his name? She might be using you but making a mental image of him while hanging out with you. or maybe she's just very absent minded.