things to do in an exam that you know you are going to fail

woosaysdan

Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.


Bring cheerleaders.

Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).

Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

Bring pets.

On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

passive

perhaps you were aiming for the humour forum?

but...good...gives me some ideas for the french tests i am regularly failing (though they might not work as well with teachers i know & have to see again as they would with instructors i don't know....)

tman

perhaps he's banned from the humour forum:ninja:
good nonetheless, i could've done with that last year

quank

LOL, that was hilarious, but i betcha got that from a chain letter email..... anyway
that andre secret document one is good! (Y)

simu

One guy in my class at uni last year just wrote out all the questions in his answer book so he'd look busy.:rolleyes:

He failed, unsurprisingly!

PrecariousNuts

I remember being told about this guy who went into a Uni physics exam, put his head down and slept for most of it. 20ish minutes towards the end he started on the questions.

One of them asked "How would you measure the height of a building using a barometer?" the obvious answer being to measure the change in pressure at the bottom and top. He however came up with different ones.

Tie the barometer to some string, lower it from the top to the bottom and then measure the string.

Use s = ut + at^2/2 by dropping the barometer.

Measure the barometer and see how many of them stacked ontop of each other equal the height.

Go into the basement and say to the caretaker: "I'll give you this brand new barometer if you tell me how the height of this building."

LegacyUser

if you know u are gonna fail cheat like a bastêrd, i cheated every exam i every did, inter cert, leaving cert, college exams, feels great to get away with it hehehe

The Second

make up stuff... and don't stop writing... I don't think they really read the papers anyway... not properly.... I'm in 4th year of college.... this shouldn't have happened... my method works!

Lord Nikon

Get a two-way radio with earpiece in your sleeve and a mic in your over sleeve and read the question to someone outside with the book of the subject.