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funny questions a little humour to share

  • 23-10-2003 8:16am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭


    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
    they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,608 ✭✭✭✭sceptre


    I assume you don't want an answer to most of those questions?:)
    Originally posted by namuras
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    Now that's funny.

    Kind of like the difference between a caucus and a cactus

    (the pricks are on the outside on a cactus)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,105 ✭✭✭Tyrrial


    some of them are quite interesting..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,322 ✭✭✭Repli


    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    Why is a boxing RING square?
    Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
    Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
    Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,666 ✭✭✭Imposter


    Why is it called a shipment if something is transported by car and cargo if transported by ship?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28 Boy Gorgeous




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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 745 ✭✭✭misswex


    1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
    2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
    3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
    5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
    6. If you mated a bulldog and a ****su, would it be called a bull****?
    7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
    8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
    9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
    10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
    11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
    12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
    squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
    13. What do people in China call their good plates?
    14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
    coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
    15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
    16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
    17. What do you call male ballerinas?
    18. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
    19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
    19. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
    20. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
    21. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
    vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
    22. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
    23. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
    24. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
    25. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorhoid when it's in your ass?
    26. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,093 ✭✭✭woosaysdan


    lol some good ones there


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,110 ✭✭✭solice


    am, in a stadium, why is a stand called a stand when you sit down


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,726 ✭✭✭quank


    nice ones miss ex , but some of them are repeats....
    number 12 is hilarious
    and number 20

    but some of them are kinda stupid
    easy answers really.... :cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 553 ✭✭✭irishman_abroad


    First post using the 12 yr old translator

    here

    Y DA SUN LIGHT3NS OUR HARE BUT DARKENS OUR SKIN?!!??!?!

    Y WOMEN CANT PUT ON MASCARA WIT THEYRE MOUTH CLOSED??!?!! LOL

    Y DONT U EVER SE TEH H3ADLIEN PSYCHIC WINS LOT3RY?!??!? LOL

    Y IS ABRAVIAETD SUCH A LONG WORD?!?!???!! OMG WTF

    Y IS IT TAHT DOC2RS CAL WT DO PRACTIEC?!???!??! WTF

    Y IS IT TAHT 2 S2P WINDOWS 98 U HAEV 2 CLIK ON START?!???! LOL

    Y IS LEMON JUIEC MAED WIT ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR AND DISHWASHNG LIQUID MAED WIT REAL L3MONS?!?!?

    Y IS DA MAN WHO INVESTS AL UR MON3Y CALED A BROKER?!?!??!?! WTF

    Y IS TEH TIEM OF DAY WIT TEH SLOWAST TRAFIC CALED RUSH HOUR????!?!?? OMG WTF LOL

    Y ISNT THEYRE MOUSA-FLAVORED CAT FOD?????? OMG WTF

    WHEN DOG FOD IS NU AND IMPROV3D TASTNG WHO TESTS IT?!??????! OMG WTF LOL

    Y DIDNT NOAH SWAT THOSE TWO MOSQUI23S???!!!!

    Y DO TH3Y STERILIEZ TEH NEDL3 FOR LATHAL INJACTIONS???!? OMG

    U KNOW TAHT IND3STRUCTIBLA BLAK BOX TAHT IS USAD ON AREPLAENS??!?? WTF Y DONT
    THAY MAEK DA WHOLA PLAEN OUT OF TAHT STUF??!!?!11!!! LOL

    Y DONT SHEP SHRINK WH3N IT RANES??!!??? OMG

    Y R THEY CALED APARTM3NTS WHAN TH3Y R AL STUK 2G3THER?!!!!!??!

    IF CON IS TEH OPOSIET OF PRO IS CONGRES TEH OPOSIET OF PROGRAS????!!? OMG LOL

    IF FLYNG IS SO SAEF Y DO THEY CAL DA AREPORT DA TARMINAL?!!??? WTF LOL



    Heh me bored WTF LOL


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,414 ✭✭✭LoneGunM@n


    Originally posted by misswex
    22. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

    *lol .... each & every bloke can empathise with that statement :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,177 ✭✭✭oneweb


    I'm itchin to answer some of 'em but won't :p Unless ppl want answers to these burning issues :D

    Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

    Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

    It is what it's.



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