College Jokes

honeymonster

A UCD, a DIT and a Trinity student were in an airplane that crashed, They're
up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.

God addresses the UCD student first: "What do you believe in?" The UCD Student
replies,

"Well, I believe in power to the little people. I think people should be
able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever
be able to
tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."

God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit
at
my left."

God then addresses the DIT student: "What do you believe in?" The DIT student
replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we
need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the
whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die....Waaahhh."

God thinks for a second and says: "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit
at
my right."

God then addresses the Trinity student: "What do you believe in?". And he
replies: "I believe you are in my chair."

Q. Why don't they have Christmas at DCU?
A. They can't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q. How can you tell if a Trinity student is heterosexual?
A. He can outrun his roommate!

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the
Carlow campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.

Q. What's the first thing a BESS bird does when she wakes
up in the morning?
A. Walks home.

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Trinity?
A. With a restraining order.

Q. What does a UCD student call a Trinity student after
graduation?
A. Boss.

Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Carlow?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

Q. Did you hear that the library at DIT Kevin Street
burned down?
A. Naturally, the students were very upset....some of the
books weren'tcoloured-in yet.

Q. Why do UCD graduates put a copy of their diploma in the
window of their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q. How do you get a IT grad off your front porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. What do tornadoes and Arts graduates have in common?
A. They both end up in trailer parks.

Q. How many Athlone IT students does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A. None - Westmeath looks better in the dark.

Q. How many Trinity students does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A. One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around
him

Q. How many UCD students does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A. Two - One to change the bulb and one more to explain
how they did it every bit as well as any TCD student.

Q. How many Bolton St. DIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three - One to change it and two to figure out how to
get high off the old one.

Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road
and
a dead UCC student in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. If you see a DIT student on a bike, why should you
never swerve to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q What do you have when 100 Arts students are buried up to
their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What do Science students use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.

Q. You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a UCC student.
You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the UCC student...twice

Mac daddy

Originally posted by honeymonster
Q. What do Science students use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.

LOL hehehe

Pugsley

Some classic ones there, the one about the IT students is so true

Funky

lmfao some of them are so good

Capt'n Midnight

In TCD when the Lecturer says "Good Morning" they reply "Good Morning Sir".
In UCD they mumble something back at him.
however, in DCU when a lecturer says "Good Morning" they write it down.

Guide to Degrees
BSC - BullShít
MSC - More Shít
PHd - Pilled Higher and Deeper

TomTom

fecking great

Seth Brundle

> Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Trinity?
> A. With a restraining order.

Brilliant

Tyrrial

I ready didn't like most of them. they were just other jokes about minority groups replaced with a college.

:rolleyes:

pat kenny

Yeah just old racist jokes adapted to use 3rd level institutes.
Jokes are funnier when you laugh at racial minorities.

slave1

oldie but applicable to thread..

Whats a creche?

When 2 cars collide outside Trinity - better if this is pronounced in a posh accent

Capt'n Midnight

What's Sex ?

Trinners students think it's what other students get their potatos in.

LoneGunM@n

Brilliant especially ....

Originally posted by slave1
Whats a creche?
When 2 cars collide outside Trinity

Ro: maaan!

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the
Carlow campus?
A. An undergraduate degree

Excellent.