Wedding Bells

LegacyUser · 13-10-2003 12:14pm #1

Ive been with my boyfriend for four years now, hes 28 and Im 26.
We have lived together for two and a half years and everythings going really well.

I feel like the relationship needs to progress to some degree of commitment now, and Im waiting for the day that he proposes. I think he will some day, but Im running out of patience. I thought he might do it on my birthday (September 17th) or our anniversary (October 3rd) but he hasnt.

Should I be more pro-active and ask him myself?
Hes quite a traditional man and he might be hurt that I did it first.
He would probably like to do the whole, going to my father and asking for my hand first. He also doesnt want children until hes married, and has said that hes felt broody of late, so whats the delay? ... I want things to move on but hes going to have to hurry up.....

Any suggestions?

ferdi · 13-10-2003 12:18pm

we guys are dim, just drop some really obvious hints.

smiaras · 13-10-2003 12:28pm

This post has been deleted.

Beruthiel · 13-10-2003 12:31pm

Originally posted by Shaday
I want things to move on but hes going to have to hurry up.....

why?
what's the rush?

IgnatiusJRiley · 13-10-2003 12:32pm

Drop "subtle" hints. E.g. Walking passed jewellers point out engagement rings you like (that's what my mrs did)

Mac daddy · 13-10-2003 12:51pm

Maybe he does not want to get married, or he is not ready yet

Nuttzz · 13-10-2003 12:52pm

Perhaps because he has all the benefits of been married without the 25 grand outlay?

tman · 13-10-2003 12:53pm

Originally posted by IgnatiusJRiley
Drop "subtle" hints. E.g. Walking passed jewellers point out engagement rings you like (that's what my mrs did)

lol, about as subtle as a slap in the face with a wet trout.
feckin wimmin:rolleyes:

Sposs · 13-10-2003 4:02pm

Maybe he's already Married :ninja:

Caesar_Bojangle · 13-10-2003 8:42pm

My friends dad told me the worst mistake of his life was getting married before he was 30. He gave me a great big spiel about marriage, and if I was to be honest, its probably the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me.

dazberry · 13-10-2003 8:55pm

Shaday
Why don't you have a chat with him and tell him more or less what you've posted here. You're trying to second guess him.

A few second guesses...
He might want to marry you but might feel that since you're 26 you might not want to get married yet.

He might not have even thought about it, because guys (well at least me

) don't always get the cryptic female signals and because nothing appears to be broken nothing needs fixing.

He just might not be ready to get married. It doesn't mean he's looking out for something better in relative terms, its just that he's not ready.

He might not want to get married at all, and when you bring this up he'll dump you so fast...

So, I think you need to talk about it, for better or worse its the only way to be sure.

D.

The Corinthian · 14-10-2003 10:13am

If you get the milk for free, why buy the cow?

koneko · 14-10-2003 10:15am

I don't get why you can't just talk to him. Don't sit around and wait for things to happen, this isn't some sort of 50's love story.

Talk about your relationship and what you both want from it.

hedgetrimmer · 14-10-2003 10:22am

Fully agree with koneko - if your relationship is not open and solid enough to discuss the future of that relationship and things like marriage, how the hell is it ready for a full commitment?

tinofapples · 14-10-2003 10:35am

Surely you have discussed the subject ??

My girlfriend (Of 5 yrs) has told me in no uncertain terms that she wants a ring soon . In truth she's being looking for it for 18 months now .

My opinion : Yes , will do sometime soon but whats the immediate rush .

Walls · 14-10-2003 1:17pm

Okay, why do you want things to move on? And don’t say because it’s what people do, because people do lots of things. Why do you, specifically, want to get married. Do you want the day out, do you want the security, do you want to show folk what a white dress does for your complexion? Is the religious ceremony important to you, what?

And if you do get married and have the big day, what will have moved on? What will have changed between you and him? Will he be more loving, more forgiving, funnier, sexier, what? Your bloke will still be the same bloke you wake up to the next morning, whether he’s your husband or your boyfriend. You won’t change any of his insecurities or strengths by changing the title. If you develop strong feelings for someone you have to take the whole package, good and bad. That’s how it works (or it stops working very quickly:D )

If he hasn’t asked you yet, then don’t push him into asking. But I'd say go ahead and discuss it with him. It is, after all, a decision for the two of you to take together.

LegacyUser · 14-10-2003 4:12pm

Walls great post there, my thoughts and feelings exactly...What is the obsession in this country about getting married?.

Shaday-What difference is a piece of paper to you?

athena 2000 · 14-10-2003 7:25pm

Shaday wrote:
"...He also doesnt want children until hes married, and has said that hes felt broody of late, so whats the delay?"

The fact that he told you he's felt broody lately should make you happy. Seems like he's considering what to do next and when to do it.

Do you like to be forced into doing anything when you're not ready?

A suggestion. You have to communicate. If you can't do that then something isn't working. The relationship isn't all about you and your needs, it's hopefully about both of you. Try not to set up imaginary fences for him to jump over or hoops to leap through to prove his love. That's unfair. Walls had some great things to say too.

Meanwhile, answer this question for yourself...

What do you think it's like being in a relationship with you?

Good luck!

Walls · 15-10-2003 7:32am

<Humour> Oh, what do I know, I'm a bitter old spinster who'll be found dead with her cats. Honey, you go ahead and tell him you're pregnant. Then you can sit back and wait for the toasters, whay hay!! <End Humour>

Beruthiel · 15-10-2003 7:59am

lol walls
I probably shouldn’t mention that the “7 year itch” actually exists

Heresy · 15-10-2003 12:37pm

If you get the milk for free, why buy the cow?

Cuz some people like milking cows, it's very therapeutic.

Yavvy · 15-10-2003 12:51pm

If you get the milk for free, why buy the cow?

Steak baby !!! Yeah

The best bit is in the rump

Hobbes · 15-10-2003 1:35pm

Originally posted by Beruthiel
I probably shouldn’t mention that the “7 year itch” actually exists

You can get cream for that sort of thing now.

By the way isn't there a custom on a leap year a woman can propose to a man?

Beruthiel · 15-10-2003 1:42pm

Originally posted by Hobbes
You can get cream for that sort of thing now

it's a bit like the cure for baldness - it doesn't work

By the way isn't there a custom on a leap year a woman can propose to a man?

there is, if you're mad enough to do it

EKRIUQ · 18-10-2003 4:18pm

I' twenty 28 year old male and just got engaged, and I feel that if he's not going to propose now he not going to ever , and the realtionship will just pitter out,

Its time girl to get your prorities right!!!!!!!!

The Corinthian · 18-10-2003 4:23pm

Originally posted by TIPPTOP
I' twenty 28 year old male and just got engaged, and I feel that if he's not going to propose now he not going to ever , and the realtionship will just pitter out,

‘Cos if you get married the relationship will never pitter out...

What a tit :rolleyes:

Mercury_Tilt · 18-10-2003 5:28pm

This post has been deleted.

Beëlzebooze · 18-10-2003 8:12pm

I probably shouldn’t mention that the “7 year itch” actually exists

beruthiel, I'm feeling adventurous, I'll give your itch a good auld scratch if you want, I've just had a shower, so yer OK

DapperGent · 18-10-2003 8:43pm

Get yourself preganant.

Beruthiel · 18-10-2003 8:47pm

Originally posted by Beëlzebooze
beruthiel, I'm feeling adventurous, I'll give your itch a good auld scratch if you want, I've just had a shower, so yer OK

thanks,
it's been scratched

DapperGent · 18-10-2003 8:57pm

Originally posted by Beruthiel
thanks,
it's been scratched

Dirty.

tinofapples · 03-11-2003 8:43am

I went into the Jewellers on Friday evening and handed the girl the business card with the ring name and size on the back of it .
I also handed her quite a few yo-yo's.

What's the norm in a situation like this ? Do they order in that size or can they "operate" on the ring to make it fit ?

She knows it's coming but doesn't know when .

Loads of friends/relatives/work colleagues all think the same
" AHH anyday now he pop they question !! "

I hate to think that some of them are gonna gloate "AHh I told you so "

But then again some of them have been saying that for a while now !!

Typedef · 03-11-2003 11:28am

I have it on good advice... this being the 1960's ... and what with all the females burning the bra's... that apparently, in 'good' 'refined' circles, it's still a cultural taboo for the woman to ask.

It's good to see women, who still know their place.

As an aside, do you have a sister? I require a live in female house slave, to keep the place tidy and provide sex on tap, when I can't pull on a Friday or Saturday night.

<This troll space for lease>

Beruthiel · 03-11-2003 12:00pm

Originally posted by Typedef
I require a live in female house slave, to keep the place tidy and provide sex on tap, when I can't pull on a Friday or Saturday night.

Perhaps you should search for that ‘russian wife’ thread they had going a good while back, you may find it useful

Samson · 03-11-2003 12:14pm

Originally posted by Beruthiel
Perhaps you should search for that ‘russian wife’ thread they had going a good while back, you may find it useful

No, I disagree.
I think Typie would be far better off with a Philippine chick, they are a lot more subservient than the Russians (who tend to disappear as soon as they are paddyettes!).

Typedef · 03-11-2003 12:51pm

Originally posted by Beruthiel
Perhaps you should search for that ‘russian wife’ thread they had going a good while back, you may find it useful

Sigh.

I did have a Russian girlfriend at one stage... who wanted to come back to Ireland.

However since she lacked 5 grand with which to pay me, for helping her become a Paddy... that never happened.

/bastard.

Wedding Bells

Comments