radio and television F*ck Ups

pyramid man

Some of these are a Laff ! ! especially the zig and zag one, and the Larry gogan ones!

A man has been found dead stuffed into a briefcase floating on the
Grand canal-Gardai are treating it as suspicious!!!
RTE Radio 1 News July 2001

"When I said they'd scored two goals, of course I meant they'd
scored one."
RTE Commentator George Hamilton


"The referendum went as most people hoped it would."
Irish Times editorial displaying acute understanding of the
Democratic Process.

"Clap your feet!" Bernie of the Nolan Sisters.


"He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his captain
off!"
George Hamilton as Butregueno comes off against Ireland.


"The idea is well and good in theory, but tell me this, who is
going to feed them?"
Wicklow Councillor objects to a proposal to boost tourism by
putting Gondolas on Blessington Lake.


"We are not prepared to stand idly by and be murdered in our
beds."
Rev. Ian Paisley


"What we are doing is in the interest of everybody, bar possibly the consumer."
Aer Lingus spokesman.

"Deep down I'm a very shallow person." Charles Haughey.

"I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that
play it."
Jack Charlton on hurling.

"Outside HIV in Grafton Street."
Gay Byrne plugging Hothouse Flowers appearance.


CONCERNED RAPIST WORE A CONDOM Evening Herald


SHARING THE BURDEN OF SCHIZOPHRENIA Irish Times


DEAD MAN INJURED IN CRASH Irish Times.

"A top level Garda internal inquiry is being held in Connemara
into
an allegation that a local garda shot a cow .... There has been no statement from the cow."

The Irish Press.

"I think the Irish woman was freed from slavery by bingo. They can
go out now, dressed up, with their handbags and have a drink and
play
bingo. And they deserve it."
John B. Keane.

"I was called out to a non-existant phone call. When I returned I
lifted my glass, smelled and said 'My God, this is foul, it smells
like piss'. A voice from the back called but whose?'."
Wine connoisseur T. P. Whelehan at a tasting in Trinity College.

"Ludicrous. Ridiculous."
1989 edition of Collins Concise Dictionary defines the word
'Irish'.

"Get married again."
Charles Haughey to women asking for an increase in the widows'
pension.

"I can hold a note and I know I'm not ugly so, in ways, that's enough."
Keith Duffy of Boyzone.

"Bosco is a Bollox! Bosco is a Bollox!"
What Zig and Zag were caught shouting (with Ian Dempsey laughing
in the background) when the cameras returned prematurely from a commercial break during 'Dempsey's Den'. Zag was tossing the Bosco puppet around.


Ian Dempsey: "What would you give Andrew and Sarah as a wedding
present?"
Caller: "I'd love to give Fergie AIDS and put a bomb up Andy's
hole'"

Larry Gogan: "With what town in Britain is Shakespeare
associated?"
Contestant: "Hamlet."

Larry Gogan: "Name the BBC's Grand Prix commentator? I'll give you
a hint. It's something you suck...." Contestant: "Oh, Dickie
Davies."
(Murray Walker is the correct answer)

Larry Gogan: "What was Jeeves' occupation?"
Contestant: "He was a carpenter."


Larry Gogan: "Complete this well known phrase. 'As happy as.....'
hint think of me."
Contestant: "A pig in sh*te."


Larry Gogan: (after a caller got none of 18 questions right on the
Just a Minute quiz) - "Ah sure the questions didn't really suit
you
did they?"
Caller: "Ah go fu*k off Larry you're only an old bollox."

Gerry Ryan: (during a discussion on whether people would like to be buried or cremated when they die) - "Would you like to be buried or cremated?"

Caller: "Oh, buried Gerry."
Gerry Ryan: "And where would you like to be buried?"
Caller: "Up to me balls in Bibi Baskin!"

Larry Gogan: "And who would you like to play the request for?"
Caller: "Meself"
Larry Gogan: "Any particular reason?"
Caller: "I got me first job yesterday"
Caller: "A blowjob!"
_________________
Children are innocent
A teenager's ****ed up in the head
Adults are even more ****ed up
And elderlies are like children

Will there be another race
To come along and take over for us?
Maybe martians could do
Better than we've done
We'll make great pets!

Tyrrial

indeed very good.. i like them a whole lot!:f33r:

Runfree

Me likes
Some nice ones there.

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by pyramid man
"Bosco is a Bollox! Bosco is a Bollox!"
What Zig and Zag were caught shouting (with Ian Dempsey laughing in the background) when the cameras returned prematurely from a commercial break during 'Dempsey's Den'. Zag was tossing the Bosco puppet around.

i would like to see a clip of that

celticfc

LOL

There great.

irishgeo

Originally posted by Mossy Monk
i would like to see a clip of that

that what i was thinking.

popinfresh

Jebus, drink 3 cans and that'll be the best thread you ever read... brilliant

Capt'n Midnight

Larry: "Where is the Taj mahal ?"
caller: "opposite the dental hospital .."

Gaunt

Brilliant! That really cracked me up.
Way to go Larry Gogan!!!

Borzoi

Originally posted by pyramid man
Gerry Ryan: (during a discussion on whether people would like to be buried or cremated when they die) - "Would you like to be buried or cremated?"

Caller: "Oh, buried Gerry."
Gerry Ryan: "And where would you like to be buried?"
Caller: "Up to me balls in Bibi Baskin!"

Always a classic, but the way I heard it was:

"Buried up to the butt end of my Bollix in Bibi Baskin"

Which has more of a ring to it - if not strictly true.