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Attack in Luxembourg

  • 25-09-2003 7:43pm
    #1
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,580 ✭✭✭✭


    From www.rte.ie

    U.S. Invades Non-Oil-Rich Nation To Dispel Criticism
    LUXEMBOURG VILLE, LUXEMBOURG—In an effort to quiet criticism of U.S. military policy, 50,000 U.S. troops invaded and soundly defeated the non-oil-rich Grand Duchy of Luxembourg Monday. "Once again, the U.S. claims victory over a rogue nation," said President Bush after the 45-minute war. "The people of Luxembourg, although prosperous and living in peace, have suffered under the tyranny of a monarchy for centuries. And allow me to point out that Luxembourg has not one drop of crude oil." Troops will return home Friday, following the public hanging of Grand Duke Henri de Luxembourg.







    BTW this is satire.


Comments

  • #2
    bubbles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,839 ✭✭✭bubbles


    Whats it doing in Politics?


  • #3
    star gazer
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 1,735 Mod ✭✭✭✭star gazer


    Whats it doing in Politics?
    *******

    Political satire
    ever heard of Yes Minister and scrap saturday?

    50,000 U.S. troops invaded and soundly defeated the non-oil-rich Grand Duchy of Luxembourg

    did they get use of Shannon airport?


  • #4
    bonkey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,443 ✭✭✭✭bonkey


    Originally posted by star gazer
    did they get use of Shannon airport?

    Funny you should ask.

    The Irish government were apparently going to allow the public to hold a referendum on the issue this time, until the Americans unformed said government that caving in to "mob rule" like this would effectively mark the irish nation as being a Rogue Nation, as it would be a clear and unequivocal sign that democracy had failed, and that the government was nothing but a shadow of respectability in front of a terrorist organisation.

    When questioned about the "terrorist" claims, the Whitehouse press office released the following statement :

    "During the attack war, there were unprovoked attacks on an American civilian aircraft while it was on irish soil. This was clearly an attempt to intimidate the US, and therefore can be considered as nothing but terrorism."

    On threat of cessation of all trade with the US, and possible invasion by the troops on their way home from Luxumbourg (well - they do need a nearby "post-invasion vacation zone"), the Irish government decided to reverse its decision, open its airspace and airports to the US military, and to protect them from "violent protestors" with a full military turnout.

    The US, to assist in countering the re-occurrence of terrorism as was seen in Shannon during the Iraq war, gifted the Irish government with 14 Apache helicopters, 6 M1A-Abrams tanks, as well as a full division's worth of APCs and various other equipment.

    When asked on the matter, the Whitehouse spokesperson (who's name is now withheld from the public for security reasons as a matter of policy) had this to say :

    "Any suggestion that the Irish government were threatened or bribed is just farcical. America is promoting democracy around the world, and to this end will assist any who wish it, even if they do not feel secure enough to request it."

    More news as it happens....

    jc

    <And yes, this is satire too>


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