The rules for women

Sposs

We always hear "the rules" from the female side._ Now here are the
rules from the male side._ These are our rules!_ Please note... these
are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat._ You're a big girl._ If it's up, put

it down. We need it up, you need it down._ You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports._ It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport._ And no, we are never going to think of it

that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want... Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what
mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer

you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as football, shooting, hunting, or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's
like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!

The Beer Baron

Except for the sports I agree wholeheartedly.
DEATH TO THE ENEMY!
LONG LIVE MASCULINITY!

milltown

I particularly liked number 1.

Havelock

Nah, 1 is better.

Vie la Revolution!

AL][EN

i didnt agree with 1 tho it didnt seem right

good joke its funny cos its true

joe bloggs

LOL

kmart6

I myself preferred number one it was the best of the lot

Mossy Monk

1. Ask for what you want... Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

all women should read that. it would make my life so much easier


1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

how very true. i can only pay attention to 1 thing at a time

joseph brand

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what
mauve is.

Get so much abuse for not 'knowing' my colours(colors for Yanks).


VERY good.