Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

I don't care what do i do?

  • 20-09-2003 1:23am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I’m 23 and my mother died two years ago. The problem with this is while I was kind of shaken at the time, its not really bothered me. It’s like, “heh, OK, whatever”. I’ve considered it might be denial but I doubt it. Enter the fact that I don’t really empathise with someone in a relationship. I’ve had a few girlfriends and lots of friends, but I always feel as if how they’re feeling goes in one ear and out the other. I can’t ‘connect’, but it didn’t really bother me until the anniversary of my mother’s death.

    It’s not a big deal really, but I do think this is a bit wrong. All of my m8s give a **** more than me, or pretend they do, but I just don’t get it. Might this be a problem for me? Am I going to go psycho, or something?


Comments

  • #2
    athena 2000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 317 ✭✭athena 2000


    This may not be something to make a 'big deal' out of, but it's important enough for you to ask the question, right?

    I doubt you're going 'psycho', but it seems you believe that not being able to 'connect' with the feelings of your friends and girlfriends is wrong. Many people supress their feelings and emotions for a variety of reasons. Maybe your real self is ready to grieve?

    I'm not a psychologist or counselor, but I think you'd be well-served to go see someone for a few sessions and talk about the death of your mother and about empathy. I think you'll get a lot out of understanding yourself better.


  • #3
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    The fact that it bothers you enough to post here means you do have feelings, perhaps they’re well buried for some reason?
    It would be no harm to talk it through with a professional.
    As for empathy, often, if you consider how you’d feel yourself under such circumstances you can then possibly see how another person would feel too.
    Everyone grieves in their own personal way, there is no yard stick, don’t knock yourself because you don’t feel x, y & z.
    See someone, I think it will help


  • #4
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Are you sure it hasn't effected you. Often its the small litle things. everybody expects you to be completely fuked after something like that. I know when my mother got cancer i went along while not thinking it had effected me, then looking back i realised i had lost something, a gentleness i suppose. Kinda realised how **** life can be, started to get into a few fights, hit a supervisor, basically wasn't the nicest person to be around.


Advertisement