I am a Bastard!

Introspective · 01-09-2003 1:03pm #1

Right heres the quick and easy.

a) I have a beautiful, wonderful and intelligent girlfriend.

b) I love her.

c) There are complications about our relationship that haven't been an issue up until now, ie: the last 5-6 days.

d) The other day I meet an old friend of mine, who I quieted liked

e) nothing could ever happen between me and said friend, she doesn't like me in that way.

f) The other night while making love to my girlfriend I thought of the other one, had to turn the lights on to look at my girlfrined because...I don't know just to get the image of the other one out of my head.

g) Had organised to see the other girl socially, and now feels kind of odd.

h) Want to see this other girl, would love for stuff to happen between us any other time, but not now,still feel like such a bastard for liking her.

Think I just need to talk it over, really need to chat about it, but all my friends are friends of my girlfriend to. Please help.

Sposs · 01-09-2003 1:17pm

Your confusing Lust with Love stick with your girlfriend,your feelings for the other girl will fade.

Miguel_Sanchez · 01-09-2003 1:18pm

Don't be so hard on yourself.

So you find another girl attractive. Just because you have a girlfriend that you're really into doesn't mean that you completely shut off noticing any other girls.

The point is you haven't acted on it and it doesn't seem like you would act on it even if the opportunity arose. So in my book you're not a bastard.

Men and women sometimes think about other men and women even if they admit it or not. Just don't bring this up with your girlfriend and I'd say that it will pass.

Peaadina · 01-09-2003 1:19pm

Wow that is a problem! I knew of a girl with this problem, she had been with her b/f for 4yrs and then she fell for a friend. she had one nite of madness with this guy and never broke up with her b/f. the friend who she had a fling with was prepared to move up to dublin for her but she kept her feet in both camps and never broke up with her oblivious b/f. she ended up losing the guy she had a fling with because she thought it would b 2 awkward to break up with her b/f.
I know she has regretted it since and now can no longer look any of us who were around when she had her fling.

I cant help but think if she had been more honest and decisive then she might have made different choices.

If you really feel like this is a problem with this friend-girl then maybe u shouldnt meet up with her if u are nearvous.
on the other hand if you are pretty sure nothing will happen being around her as a friend might help to c her as just that again?

I wouldnt tell your g/f as it would cause devestation on her part, in my opinion.
fantasies are weird and unexplained, maybe you are reading too much into it? anyway feel free to talk to me about it if you like.
~P~:cool:

Beruthiel · 01-09-2003 1:45pm

It’s perfectly normal to fancy other people while in a relationship, you are human after all!
However, acting on it would seem to be futile especially as this friend of yours isn’t into it. I would suggest you don’t see your friend for a little while, just until you get your thoughts straight on the subject. You sound like you do not want to loose your girlfriend so spend some time with her that should help

Eden · 01-09-2003 7:26pm

It was a wee fantasy. You love your girlfriend, I think you realise that nothings really gonna happen with the other girl... There's no problem, and you're not a bastard.

Kell · 01-09-2003 7:39pm

Just dont call out the other firls name mid coitus. Bad, bad, bad idea.

So you fancy one of your female friends. No big deal. You'll get over it if you love your girlfriend as much as you say you do.

K-

Cabaal · 01-09-2003 9:49pm

Originally posted by Jeff_Lebowski
Don't be so hard on yourself.

So you find another girl attractive. Just because you have a girlfriend that you're really into doesn't mean that you completely shut off noticing any other girls.

I'd have to agree, you just have to weed out the fantasy/lust from the real thing.
It can be hard but to be honest man, its worth it in the end

Ruaidhri · 01-09-2003 10:30pm

...grass is always greener on the other side...

mrbungle · 02-09-2003 2:25am

The fact that you have one of your friends in mind:

I thought that was what w@nking was for ??
Window shopping your friends. No strings, no-one gets hurt....

po0k · 02-09-2003 3:55am

Work up to a threesome between ye.
Best of both worlds.

Beruthiel · 02-09-2003 7:28am

Originally posted by SyxPak
Work up to a threesome between ye.
Best of both worlds.

does this happen a lot on Planet SyxPax?

Havelock · 02-09-2003 11:39am

I'd agree with the others, you just need to realise its only a passing fancy. If you really love your g/f and are faithful everything will work out.

ur mentor · 02-09-2003 1:35pm

try jumping forward 10 years in ur minds eye. who r u with?

Antisocialiser · 02-09-2003 2:13pm

you bastard

Wook · 02-09-2003 2:15pm

a wise man once said 'It's not because your on a diet, that you can not taste'...

Beruthiel · 02-09-2003 2:36pm

Originally posted by Wook
a wise man once said 'It's not because your on a diet, that you can not taste'...

No wook, you have twisted that one for you own ends!

It’s - just because you are on a diet, doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu

Wook · 02-09-2003 2:45pm

Originally posted by Beruthiel
No wook, you have twisted that one for you own ends!

It’s - just because you are on a diet, doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu

bah , killjoy ! i like my qoute better :cool:

po0k · 02-09-2003 4:47pm

Originally posted by Beruthiel
does this happen a lot on Planet SyxPax?

biding my time

yossarin · 02-09-2003 8:20pm

You're not a bad guy.
The mind plays funny tricks sometimes. Try to enjoy it

I'd agree with Sposs. I think you're having problems with your GF, and your mind has presented you with a potential fantasy relationship where these problems don't exist.

Also, checking out other potential girls is part of the male psyche. So its not my fault when i do it

Amz · 02-09-2003 9:21pm

Originally posted by SyxPak
biding my time

Number6 · 02-09-2003 9:30pm

Originally posted by Beruthiel
does this happen a lot on Planet SyxPax?

Only between SyxPak and sheep. :ninja:

/me awaits the beating

Amz · 02-09-2003 10:10pm

Don't you mean bleating?

Number6 · 03-09-2003 12:42am

Originally posted by Amz
Don't you mean bleating?

Indeed Amz, you are correct. The sheep havnt been right since that night.Which means less for me

WhiteWashMan · 03-09-2003 12:27pm

i had a **** yesterday thinking of Angelina Jolie and Britney Spears using a two way.

will i go to hell?

Beruthiel · 03-09-2003 12:44pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
will i go to hell?

you were always going to hell WWM!

Scruff · 03-09-2003 12:45pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
i had a **** yesterday thinking of Angelina Jolie and Britney Spears using a two way.

will i go to hell?

quite possibly but sounds like you had a bit of heaven in your head so wtf, do you care?

didnt think so.

Typedef · 03-09-2003 12:47pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
i had a **** yesterday thinking of Angelina Jolie and Britney Spears using a two way.

Now there's a thought

Edit: I generally stick to girlfriend's who've pissed me off... they make my **** list.

And fella's who've pissed me off, well they make my sh it list. Lends a whole new notion to the term sh it head fyi.

In fact I recommend this retribution paradigm, not only is it physically pleasurable, but.. you get an added sense of satisfaction, knowing you're evening some old scores... at an internal level (anyway).

*sigh*

I am a Bastard!

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