Question for the girls : How obvious is it????

LegacyUser · 30-08-2003 8:45pm #1

Ok so I've never been that confident with the girls, and I have a question.

Theres a girl at work who I've decided that come hell or high water, I'm asking out. Next time I see her. But I have no idea whether she's going out with someone or not. (Knowing my luck, she is :rolleyes: ).

So girls, if you were going out with someone, and some guy came up to you and asked you for a coffee after work, would you twig that he's after you and if so, how would you react??? Would you play along or would you say something like "My boyfriend wouldnt like that".

I'd take the risk but I've been ****ed over like this before. A girl I asked out a few months ago seemed really happy to go out for coffee. I had to put up with 2 hours of her talking about her current boyfriend. :mad:

fisty · 30-08-2003 8:50pm

don't ask her to go for coffee.
casually ask her if she wants to go down the pub on a friday after work - that way it'll seem innocent enough.

You wouldn't look like such a prat if she refuses, which she probably will, considering you're telling people on the internet how you're not very good with girls.

BrianD3 · 30-08-2003 9:44pm

Before you ask her out you should at least do some "research" to see if she's seeing anyone so you're not wasting your time.

Do you know the girl at all i.e. have you spoken to her much? If you talk to her about normal stuff like what she did at the weekend, holidays etc. it will usually become very apparent whether she has a b/f or not. Most girls love talking about their boyfriends, so if she has one it's almost inevitable that she'll mention him in casual conversation.

Look for rings on her ring finger. If she has a steady b/f she'll probably have some sort of ring on this finger although the presence of a ring doesn't guarantee that she's attached (unless its a wedding or engagement ring)

Also, ask other work colleagues and see if they know anything about her status. You can be subtle about this and try to work it into a conversation. Or you can be more blunt about it and ask someone straight out. Doesn't really matter.

If you try all of this and still don't know whether she has a b/f or not, you're just going to have to ask her out and hope for the best

BrianD3

smiles · 31-08-2003 12:59am

Originally posted by BrianD3
Look for rings on her ring finger. If she has a steady b/f she'll probably have some sort of ring on this finger although the presence of a ring doesn't guarantee that she's attached (unless its a wedding or engagement ring)

On that point - if she wears a Claddagh ring - the ones with the heart being held in two hands with a crown on top - and it is pointing inwards (ie. the point of the heart is pointing inwards) then thats a typical sign for her heart being taken.

But some people, (me especially), after going out with people for prolonged periods of time just slip the ring back on the "wrong" way round automatically!

<< Fio >>

Beruthiel · 31-08-2003 12:08pm

I’m not sure how relevant rings are these days, I wear what I want

If you are working with her, then it cannot be that difficult to find out if she’s seeing someone, ask around discretely
Failing that, go with fisty’s suggestion, ask her for a drink on Friday night, see what she says, easiest way to do it without loosing face.

DriftingRain · 31-08-2003 2:48pm

I agree with Beruthiel. Ask around first. Girls get jittery when being asked out and feel bad for turning down guys sometimes.

Trojan · 01-09-2003 9:30am

Say "Hey Emma, do you have a boyfriend?"

If "Yes" say "Aww, that's a pity"
If "No" say "Great! Wanna come grab a pint on Friday?"

Simple and effective.

Al.

Beruthiel · 01-09-2003 9:41am

Originally posted by Trojan
Say "Hey Emma, do you have a boyfriend?"

If "Yes" say "Aww, that's a pity"
If "No" say "Great! Wanna come grab a pint on Friday?"

Simple and effective.

Al.

that will also work

Havelock · 01-09-2003 11:00am

Quiet true, disarm the situation with humour. Was going to suggest but others beat me to it.

po0k · 02-09-2003 4:05am

Work relationships etc.

hope it goes well for ya mate, should boost your self-confidence.
Also having a chick makes it a hell of alot easier talking to other women as you're less self-concious about seeming to come on to them/scaring them off etc.

or something.

I dunno...it's 5am and I can't sleep.
You're lucky I'm coherent enough to type this.

WhiteWashMan · 03-09-2003 12:29pm

gfet her to fill out a questionaire on anal sex and the slip the question about whether she has a boyfriend or not into it.

after that, you may not care if she has one or not...

BEAT · 06-09-2003 4:56am

Just walk up to her, say...hey I am going out friday for a pint with a mate (from work preferably), would you like to join us, that is if your bf doesnt mind

If you put it that way She will have no choice but to answer your question.
and having another person or two from work come along wont make it seem like your "after" her ya know...this way she will be more willing to answer the question honestly and without hestation. understand? and also, if she turns out to be a bore you have a mate there to back you up.

etc...

AngelofFire · 06-09-2003 11:36pm

id say get one of your mates to organise an outing of some sort for the workmates and invite her. one of my friends did that for me before it worked very well;)

Crash · 07-09-2003 12:31am

Originally posted by AngelofFire
id say get one of your mates to organise an outing of some sort for the workmates and invite her. one of my friends did that for me before it worked very well;)

...why dont you get your mate to ask her out for you, is that your point? hell, why dont you pretend you're 14 again and get him to shout "HE LIKES YOU, WANNA MEET HIM?!"

Hell, i'm sure he'd even stick his tongue down her throat if you're too shy as well loike.

Gordon · 07-09-2003 8:45am

Whats the latest Resonance?

My bit though late it may be: just ask her out for a frickin coffee and be damned the consequences.
* Even if she has a boyfriend she may be thinking of moving on
* She may be wanting to have a substitute for when it does move on
* She may want a friend

ferdi · 07-09-2003 1:23pm

screw asking around....

just go up to her and say in a bad and over-done johnny bravo voice:

"hey baby, want to get with this sexy love machine?"

passive · 07-09-2003 9:20pm

Originally posted by Trojan
Say "Hey Emma, do you have a boyfriend?"

If "Yes" say "Aww, that's a pity"
If "No" say "Great! Wanna come grab a pint on Friday?"

Simple and effective.

Al.

excellent plan...assuming her name is emma...if not, you're off to a bad start

ven0m · 13-09-2003 2:16pm

blah blah blah blah - ask her, get it overwith & if she blows u off - move on..... it's like primary school sometimes...... MOVE ON PPL!!!! lol - ask her, get it out of your system & I HATE using cheesy phrases like this but -

"you got a rod, & there's a whole lotta ocean out there with alot of fishes....."

Pigman II · 13-09-2003 2:38pm

I've a little theory when it comes to women, which goes as follows.....

'If you don't even know enough about a woman to know whether she has a boyfriend or not then you certainly don't know enough about her to risk asking her out.'

Now this could be a stretch for you but how about trying to talk to her over a cup of coffee IN WORK to find out a little of what she is about before you decide to propose marraige whilst humping her leg?

ASTRACLUB · 13-09-2003 2:44pm

SIMPLY ASK HER,,,
WHO COOK MOST OF THE TIME AT HER HOME AND WHAT SHE COOK
THAT WILL HELP

kaalgat · 14-09-2003 7:24pm

To be completely honest, if a guy asked me out for a coffee, I wouldn't mind that at all.

You have to remember that not everyone is the same. Even if she is with someone, she might actually like going out just for a casual chat or something.

It's up to you what you do, but do remember that if she gives some lame excuse like having to babysit or something, don't try again, because if she gave you a silly excuse the first time, the answer to wether she want so go out with you is obvious, and asking her again could very well cause embarrassment.

Best of luck

JohnnyBravo · 17-09-2003 3:25pm

hey baby you wanna go for coffee sometime

andrew163 · 20-09-2003 9:33pm

Originally posted by crash_000
you're 14 again and get him to shout "HE LIKES YOU, WANNA MEET HIM?!"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUGH that happened to me last year (the "him" in capitals was me)......... and im 15 :rolleyes:

*runs away screaming*

bugler · 21-09-2003 11:48am

Hey, in a few years you'll pay people to set you up with women, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Typedef · 21-09-2003 1:58pm

Here is my suggestion... make of it what you will.

You : "Hey baby... wanna have a threesome?"
Her : "Huh?"
You : "Yeah... me, you and the chip on your shoulder".

Works a treat.

uRbaN · 21-09-2003 8:32pm

asking girls out is great craic, the buzz and excitement is exhilarating. It depneds on your mindset tho....i think mayeb u have already blown it into a big deal, which means rejection could come as a blow to u....
The easiest way to meet people is thru friends and work. Rather than specifically asking her out, organise a few of you to go out...puts less emphasis on YOU and HER...and less pressure
FActs: you hardly know her, you have harldy talked....therefore she more than likely will reject a formal approach....
This is just my opnion tho m8

Divine · 23-09-2003 2:50pm

No no no no no!!!! every single last one of you have got it all completly wrong, you have to be really sneaky about all this and if you sit back and listen i will tell you how.

Step 1: Right first off you make some what of an extra effort to talk to her, dont ask her any personal questions at all just have a bit of a laugh with her, you will know when you are doing a good job of it cause you will just relax totally.

Step 2: Find out who her sort of closest friend is in work and sit beside her during break or whatever and start talking about your one. Find out if she has a boyfriend, if she has forget it but if she has not then very shyly confess to her friend that you like her and would like to ask her out. now KNOW THIS her friend will go straight back to her trembling with excitment and blab everything you have just told her to her hearts content. Now this is a fact, this will happen so its very easy to use it to your advantage.

Step 3: Bump into the one you want to get up on the next day so she will have had time to hear the tales from her friend about you. If she seems rather cool towards you know she does not like you and is wanting to put a stop to it before it goes any further. However if she is all friendly and laughy towards you, then you my friend are in there and il be waiting for my thanks and a bit box of roses. Now trust me this is a good way to go about it so be a man and do it..do it...DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Dr Bolouswki · 25-09-2003 12:04am

... I'd recommend procrastinating for ages, staring at her intently in the canteen and never speaking to her, hanging around near her desk, smiling at her to show you like her - any time she looks at you when you're smiling FREEZE THE SMILE ON YOUR FACE so that it looks like a sharks grin, a crazed rictus of terror...

Chicks dig that sort of thing...

whatever you do don't try and find out if she has a boyfriend by engaging in normal conversation... it's a real loser when trying to build a relationship...

And you can avoid getting 'fcuked over' and having to listen to boring stories about her boyfriend if you just say 'can we have sex now?'

Don't bother getting to know the girl in question at all first, it's a sure path to failure....

JohnnyBravo · 25-09-2003 8:47am

Divine your a girl right ?

Divine · 25-09-2003 12:32pm

... I'd recommend procrastinating for ages, staring at her intently in the canteen and never speaking to her, hanging around near her desk, smiling at her to show you like her - any time she looks at you when you're smiling FREEZE THE SMILE ON YOUR FACE so that it looks like a sharks grin, a crazed rictus of terror...
... I'd recommend procrastinating for ages, staring at her intently in the canteen and never speaking to her, hanging around near her desk, smiling at her to show you like her - any time she looks at you when you're smiling FREEZE THE SMILE ON YOUR FACE so that it looks like a sharks grin, a crazed rictus of terror...
<HR>

yeah thats a really good idea, im sure she would really go for the serial killer freaky stalker guy, jeez whoever wrote that is messed up.....

Fella why?

Dr Bolouswki · 25-09-2003 10:06pm

Fella why?

:rolleyes:

Am I the only one here who finds the original posters motives questionable? Surely the first step to asking someone THAT YOU WORK WITH out is to like... GET TO KNOW THEM A LIITLE BIT FIRST!! Finding out if they have a boyfriend is surely just part of normal conversation....

I'd take the risk but I've been ****ed over like this before. A girl I asked out a few months ago seemed really happy to go out for coffee. I had to put up with 2 hours of her talking about her current boyfriend.

****ed over???? Like he invested so much of his emotional well being in her BEFORE he even asked her out and found out she had a boyfriend? What was he thinking as she talked about her boyfriend? 'Fcuk this what a waste of time? I'm not gonna be able to shag you so whats the point?'

I think the original poster needs to re-evaluate the worth he holds women in. If they are only potential targets for his lust/emotions, and he's not prepared to even get to know them a little bit first, he's doomed to failure...

As for my previous post, I would have thought it was evident that I was mocking by imitation my perception of the original posters intent and modus operandi...

This is a very simple problem. You don't just ask someone out cos you think they look nice - jesus, TALK TO THEM FIRST!!!!

DeadBankClerk · 28-09-2003 8:47pm

Originally posted by fisty
don't ask her to go for coffee.
casually ask her if she wants to go down the pub on a friday after work - that way it'll seem innocent enough.

You wouldn't look like such a prat if she refuses, which she probably will, considering you're telling people on the internet how you're not very good with girls.

Why would he look like a prat if she refuses? Go for your coffee or drink or whatever and tell her that you like her.

Question for the girls : How obvious is it????

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