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Silly story thread

charlie_says · 2003-08-19 15:03:00

Join up dots with your own chunks of grey and white goodness the more madcap the better! There once lived an outcast ant called "Stampie", he was given this name for a very unusual reason........

19-08-2003 3:03pm

#1

charlie_says

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Join up dots with your own chunks of grey and white goodness the more madcap the better!

There once lived an outcast ant called "Stampie", he was given this name for a very unusual reason........

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#2 19-08-2003 3:11pm

BKtje

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... as he was a very mean and wicked ant. When the ants in the new colony saw how wicked and evil he was they'd place a human stamp on his back when he was sleeping and wait for the wind to blow him away. He felt he was...

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#3 19-08-2003 5:41pm

Liquorice

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...extremely popular and that the stamp was a gift so that he could do the ant equivalent of hanglide. Unfortunately it never worked because...

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#4 19-08-2003 5:58pm

Wulf

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He was a big fat ant, 3foot long and 1foot wide....

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#5 19-08-2003 6:02pm

weemcd

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fortunatly though he had a friend called the salmon fiddler, who had the power to remove stamps, unfortunatley he would have to do something in return...

(ps gooood thread)

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#6 19-08-2003 6:05pm

Wulf

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It involved leather, whips and...

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#7 19-08-2003 6:10pm

weemcd

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and a large tube 'o lube...

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#8 19-08-2003 6:17pm

Sarky

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The ant would dress in leather harness, lube his feet up, and the salmon fiddler would sit atop and go sleigh riding down the hills of medieval Scotland...

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#9 19-08-2003 6:32pm

weemcd

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after the sleigh riding and a quick game of bumsies, the fiddler pointed stampy in the direction of the elusive trout barron...

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#10 19-08-2003 6:36pm

dod

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The problem was that in order to get to the river in which the elusive trout baron lived, Stampie would have to cross the bridge where the dreaded Troll of certain death collected punitive taxes from all travellers...

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#11 19-08-2003 7:44pm

avatar

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that consisted of pretzels and rotten cheese. However, our heroic ant had a plan....

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#12 19-08-2003 7:49pm

weemcd

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involving a ride on the chipendale, a bottle of love juice and a nomadic frog named gustav...

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#13 19-08-2003 7:54pm

Gordon

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"Was that the tick of one generations clicking by or was it two?.." he said to himself...
"I will create a diversion for the Troll of certain death, when I and the other 138 people crossing the bridge decide to cross. This way he will not see us and he will not claim his pretzel tax."

The massive ant's plan was to...

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#14 19-08-2003 8:33pm

Sarky

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Get a boat, avoiding the troll completely.

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#15 19-08-2003 8:38pm

Mossy Monk

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avoiding the troll proved to be more difficult though due to the trolls incredible swimming skills.

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#16 19-08-2003 10:30pm

weemcd

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...

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#17 19-08-2003 10:43pm

doctor evil

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So he flew over instead on the back of Cheery the Robin, but a problem was afoot, he was now stuck up a tree!, and Cheerie`s b*stard children were trying to eat him:eek:

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#18 19-08-2003 10:44pm

BigCon

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Suddenly, out of nowhere appeared a man wearing oddly coloured shoes and sporting a most unfashionable hair design...

strange man...

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#19 19-08-2003 10:48pm

weemcd

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t'was billy connly...

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#20 19-08-2003 10:50pm

BigCon

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impersonating Aongus McNally....

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#21 19-08-2003 11:10pm

uRbaN

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..he struck down the ugly b*stard children with a mighty butt of his head, and aided the trembling ant to the ground...

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#22 20-08-2003 10:03am

BKtje

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...where he started too whoop and dance. Poor evil stampie almost got stamped on but...

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#23 20-08-2003 1:15pm

Tyrrial

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He quickly realized that he had forgotten about the elusive trout barron who at this point had passed away of an unknowen illness while Stampy was Trying to avoid paying Tax....

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#24 20-08-2003 1:20pm

TheWolf

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Just then, up drove the Pope mobile! Out stepped the pope. He took one look at Stampy and...

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#25 20-08-2003 1:25pm

Tyrrial

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... said "aw look an Ant.. isn't that cute". the pope proptly drove off leaving billy connly and stampy to work out what to do next...

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#26 20-08-2003 1:32pm

penguinbloke

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..suddenly Billy Connly pulled off his mask it had been Aongus McNally dressed as Billy Connly, dressed as Aongus McNally, all along. But then...

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#27 20-08-2003 1:43pm

blondie83

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he fainted, all but squashing poor little stampy in the process. It seemed like all was lost, untill...

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#28 20-08-2003 2:02pm

Sarky

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A pack of magical ninja-kittens appeared in a puff of smoke. They took Stampy into their care, mending his broken exoskeleton with their ninja magic. Stampy started training with the ninja kittens, and the focus and discipline helped him see how evil he was, and calmed him down quite a bit. Until, one day...

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#29 20-08-2003 2:29pm

TheWolf

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Saw that ****er Aongus who had squashed him. Using his l33t ninja skills he...

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#30 20-08-2003 2:31pm

BKtje

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...used his ninja skills on him. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't make a dent in the big oaf. It was almost as if Aongus...

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#31 20-08-2003 2:34pm

Sarky

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...was composed entirely of rock hard stupidity. Defeated, but unbroken, Stampy wisely decided to retreat and find another means of exacting his revenge on the man with the funny hairdo...

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#32 20-08-2003 3:28pm

penguinbloke

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..During the meanwhilst Aongus relaunched 'The Lyrics Board' with its original crew, disposed of Linda and plotted his next diabolical move. As it had all been a cover for the fact that he was...

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#33 21-08-2003 8:00am

charlie_says

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....he was encrusted green with ivy. Under his clothes. And it was really itchy. This was an unfortunate reprecussion of a drunken late night encounter with a quaint looking (at the time he thought with little humor), publicly listed building wall. Meanwhile......

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#34 21-08-2003 9:52am

Tyrrial

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...stampy was trying to convince the Ninja kittens to aid him in his quest for vengence. they had nothing better to do so they agreed to help, but hey still needed a plan....

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#35 21-08-2003 10:02am

BKtje

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...but all the plans the ninja kittens came up with involved drinking milk and taking a long nap. Stampie realised he'd need to get some brains into this outfit so...

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#36 21-08-2003 10:28am

charlie_says

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....he enlisted the help of the legendary ninga master hamster named cocheese. Small, furry and deadly, cocheese proved to be just what stampy needed. The hamster-san trained the other pussy cat ninjas and stampy for several weeks, during this time a beautiful friendship blossomed between stampy and his new mentor. One day whilst disscussing the latest treadmill reverse-spin-jump-kick maneuver......

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#37 21-08-2003 11:48am

SoundWave

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... a tree fell on them and they were all killed.

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#38 21-08-2003 3:01pm

penguinbloke

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Or so you would think, but no. Using the l337 ninja skills he learned from cocheese stampie survived the blow. Sadly all the kittens were dead and hamsta-san under the crushing weight of the tree said his final words...

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#39 21-08-2003 4:32pm

Liquorice

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.."Don't give up on your quest to kill that evil, ivy-encrusted Aonghus McNally. Do it for me and the ninja-kittens". Stampy felt obliged to continue with his quest, but he felt weak of spirit now that the hamster-san was dead. As he was making his way wearily towards the RTÉ building...

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#40 21-08-2003 4:48pm

dod

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A 46A bus pulled up alongside the scene of the recent tragedy.

"Y'a'right there bud?" asked the burly tatooed driver. He held his hand over the coin-slot. "It's a free-fair day there bud, yeh may as well geddon," he slurred. "It's de unyuns, we havta make arr point we do."

Stampie alighted the bus gratefully. Twenty minutes later, he disembarked the bus on the Stillorgan Dual carriageway, right outside the entrance to Montrose, the RTE studio complex.

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#41 21-08-2003 5:14pm

penguinbloke

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As he alighted the stairs through some curiously thick ivy his breath caught in his throat as he saw Aongus with no other than the master of all Evil otherwise known as...

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#42 21-08-2003 5:57pm

Liquorice

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...Louie Walsh. They held in their arms a bag, and inside the bag something was struggling and cursing. Because Stampy had extra-sensitive ears(which were put there surgically, ants normally don't have ears)he heard Louie whisper to whatever was in the bag "Shut up. I have the ability to kill you using only my mind. You're gonna be part of my next evil masterplan...

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#43 21-08-2003 6:38pm

blondie83

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...to take over the world using annoying little pop bands. Once people hear the hidden meaning in the songs it will be mine, ALL MINE!!!!" At this point Stampy tripped over the ivy and fell down the stairs, ripping most of it off Aongus. He gasped when he saw...

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#44 21-08-2003 9:41pm

superconor

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.........that aoungus was in fact the Evil Overlord DeVore!
"Aha! You think that you l33t skills are enough to defeat me? my p3nage is extraordinary!"

And with these terrifiing words, he released his first swarm of annoying pop bands! including....

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#45 22-08-2003 12:09pm

penguinbloke

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...A twink tribute band. Faced with certain doom stampie fled to the shadows where he bumped into the extremely talented and all around good guy...

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#46 22-08-2003 3:54pm

Mossy Monk

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who was a mystical sheep called Barbeque. Barbeque seemed to be ok but he did have one or two extremely annoying habits.

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#47 22-08-2003 4:04pm

SoundWave

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one of them being killing ppl, he killed everybody and when he was finished killing everybody he chopped them up into nice sized steaks and grilled them (2 mins on each side) on his bite he died of a huge steak induced heart attack. his will gave strict instructions to be cremated.

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#48 22-08-2003 4:18pm

Raphael

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Then suddenly, The ninja kittens descended from heaven and surgically removed stampie from the sheeps stomach, seconds before he was ingulfed in the white hot flame of the crematorium. They used their ninja magicks, which had only been improved by their untimely demise, to reanimate stampie!
Unfortunately...

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