The girl on the Dart

dod · 13-08-2003 11:59am #1

It was the morning after an extremely indulgent night before. What had started as a quiet drink in the shade of the canopy at The Bailey on Duke Street had inevitably developed into an almighty session and a traipse around the usual Dublin city centre pubs and clubs. Dealing with drink-induced dehydration is an annoyance at the best of time- in the prevailing dead heat the problem was exacerbated manifold.

We debated the options- The Queens in Dalkey? A trip down to Greystones? The Wicked Wolf in Blackrock? Eventually we settled on a trip out to the 40-Foot bar in Dun Laoghaire as the solution. A healthy light brunch sitting out in the sea breeze followed by a brisk walk along the pier would surely sort out our self-inflicted woes.

After a few black coffees and the guts of a large bottle of Ballygowan each to fortify us for our excursion, we made the short walk to Sandymount Dart station. We made smalltalk about the missed opportunities from the night before, the girls-that-might-have-been, at what point we had crossed the line of overdoing the drinking, about what we would do differently next time to maximise the opportunities.

When it eventually arrived , we got on the Dart. Though there were plenty of seats available, we stood opposite the opening doors and continued with our banter, laughing at incidents that had come to pass the night before that were probably humorous to nobody but ourselves.

I looked up, and in the seat in the corner of the carriage was the most astonishingly beautiful girl I have ever seen. If you took Denise Richards as a starting point, then made her prettier, with more presence and less attitude, gave her a naturally beautiful symmetric face with a high forehead, you’d only understand a fraction of how stunningly beautiful this girl was. She wore no make up, for makeup would only have detracted from her natural beauty. She didn’t have some leather D&G handbag or YSL purse hanging out of her, because her elegance was eternal, not defined by some fleeting label-defined trend. She had a long flowing curled blonde hair, cared for but not over-cared for. Gorgeous lips and an exquisite nose, a charming smile and the sort of complexion that Leonardo would crave in a subject completed this magnificent vision of beauty.

I was awestruck. I dearly hoped that she had planned for herself a brunch in the 40-Foot bar, that I might approach her and ask her something inane like ‘Didn’t I see you on the Dart earlier?’. After a languorous afternoon enjoying each others company in the sun, she would see the wisdom of our settling down; in time she would bear our children, and many years hence when enjoying each others companionship in our twilight years, we would fondly recall the day we had brunch together for the first time in Dun Laoghaire.

As I stood there besotted, I refined the weaknesses in my plan. In the five minutes before the Dart arrived at Dun Laoghaire station, I honed the approach and conceived all sorts of humorous things to say that might entertain her. I imagined her dazzling smile and her spectacular eyes sitting across from me. I wondered, when I would eventually propose marriage, where would be a sufficiently elegant place to bring her?

Lost in the delight that destiny had finally smiled so gracefully on me, I alighted the train at Dun Laoghaire Station. The doors were closing when I turned around, and she was still sitting in her seat. As the train pulled out of the station, I wondered, perhaps, should we have arranged to have brunch in Dalkey in the first place.

LegacyUser · 13-08-2003 12:23pm

times like these one of those photo phones would come in handy

Dampsquid · 13-08-2003 12:27pm

Dod, I'd say the Gardai are out looking for you right now... Stalker Alert!!!

Dustaz · 13-08-2003 12:49pm

Went to the beach the other day.
Eyed up this cracker on the train.
No luck - lezzer.

bugler · 13-08-2003 12:56pm

Something like that happened me probably every second time I used the tube in London. It's nice to look, but as brazen as I am (I have approached a couple of women in the street before, no not those kinds of women, well not all of them..) I think let them travel on in peace.

They'll almost certainly burn you anyway, unless they like strange men approaching them on public transport

ToxicPaddy · 13-08-2003 1:00pm

Dont moments like that make life worth while...

Ive seen a few ladies like that in my time, none in my company of course.. more like passing them on the street or see them driving by..

Isnt nature wnderful when they can create someone so beautiful and then if by chance you do bump into them in a pub or a cafe and you say hello..

they open their beautiful lips to a reply and say....

HOWWWYYAAAASSSSS!!!!!!

in a thick northsider accent or a thick culchie accent that would scare the sh*te outta even the most fearsome opponent.... :rolleyes:

ThreadKiller · 13-08-2003 1:04pm

Originally posted by dod

I looked up, and in the seat in the corner of the carriage was the most astonishingly beautiful girl I have ever seen. If you took Denise Richards as a starting point, then made her prettier, with more presence and less attitude, gave her a naturally beautiful symmetric face with a high forehead, you’d only understand a fraction of how stunningly beautiful this girl was. She wore no make up, for makeup would only have detracted from her natural beauty. She didn’t have some leather D&G handbag or YSL purse hanging out of her, because her elegance was eternal, not defined by some fleeting label-defined trend. She had a long flowing curled blonde hair, cared for but not over-cared for. Gorgeous lips and an exquisite nose, a charming smile and the sort of complexion that Leonardo would crave in a subject completed this magnificent vision of beauty.

Hmmmmm... sounds suspiciously like my wife...

Kali · 13-08-2003 1:05pm

Oh dear... what a load of D4-sounding twaddle (or something directly from The Orange Mocha-Chip Frappucino Years).
What Dustaz said.

Spunog UIE · 13-08-2003 1:50pm

Originally posted by Dustaz
Went to the beach the other day.
Eyed up this cracker on the train.
No luck - lezzer.

LOL, ah ****in brilliantly said

:D:D

fisty · 13-08-2003 2:10pm

dustaz novel was better.
you suck shakespear!

Mac daddy · 13-08-2003 2:31pm

Originally posted by fisty
dustaz novel was better.
you suck shakespear!

LOL:D

Cake Fiend · 13-08-2003 4:06pm

Originally posted by Kali
Oh dear... what a load of D4-sounding twaddle (or something directly from The Orange Mocha-Chip Frappucino Years).

My words floated on wings of electrons from my palate and alighted on Kali's frontal lobes with the grace of dainty fingers on a keyboard of satin.

Read: blegh.

Victor · 13-08-2003 4:09pm

I had a scenario like that recently, but at least I did talk to her and she "blatantly" did say where she worked. I could find her but ... nah.

Originally posted by bugler
(I have approached a couple of women in the street before, no not those kinds of women, well not all of them

... and when you weren't sober?

bugler · 13-08-2003 4:14pm

Technically I was sober, but undergoing one of my delusions of grandeur when it comes to my ability to interact with females. It normally sorts itself out after a bit..

skipn_easy · 13-08-2003 5:36pm

It was the morning after a quiet evening watching eastenders with a glass of red wine in one hand and the gently wafting aroma of dinner drifting in from the kitchen. 10 o'clock had struck and I went upstairs to relax with some yoga before bed.

The next morning the sun rose high in the sky, I knew it was going to be another scorcher. My dear old gran would love some company I thought, so I will take a trip out to Bray to visit her and enjoy a healthy light brunch sitting out in the sea breeze.

I had a low-fat, high-fibre bowl of breakfast cereal to fortify me for the trip south and walked to the nearby dart station. Humming to myself and enjoying the way the breeze gently rustled my long golden curls I waited patiently for the long-overdue train. I glanced around at the other waiting passengers and smiled as a small child played with a colourful balloon.

When the dart arrived, I took a comfortable seat in the corner of the carriage. At the next stop, Sandymount, a group of dissheveled looking guys trooped on to the train, and despite the many empty seats, crowded around the open doors, noisily referring to incidents that had occured on their night out and laughing uproariously. I turned my face to look out the window and prayed silently that they would not come and sit near to me.

Suddenly my gaze out the window was disturbed by the knowledge that someone was staring at me. I turned my eyes away from the window to glance around the carriage and immediately noticed that one of the unruly guys from the group that had entered the train previously was staring at me with no indication of embarrasment. His mouth was gaping half-open so that I could see his not-so-white teeth, and the day old stubble on his face only made him look more disturbing. A smell of alcohol and vomit wafted across the carriage towards me and I turned my head away. I clutched my cheap dunnes stores handbag to my side and hoped that he would stop looking at me.

Looking around again, I saw him mentally steeling himself, as if he was going to cross the carriage to speak with me. I wondered what he would possibly have to say to me - 'haven't I seen you before?' or some other cheesy line I thought. He had closed his mouth by this time but was still staring at me as if there was nothing else in the world to look at. I made a mental note of the wherabouts of others in the carriage in case it became necessary for me to seek help. He made a move as if to approach me and I gasped and prepared to get off at the next stop but luckily his friends nudged him and exclaimed that this was their stop.

I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed, looking forward to seeing my dear gran again. I will get the bus home I thought.

Repli · 13-08-2003 5:43pm

Originally posted by dod
It was the morning after an extremely indulgent night before. What had started as a quiet drink in the shade of the canopy at The Bailey on Duke Street had inevitably developed into an almighty session and a traipse around the usual Dublin city centre pubs and clubs. Dealing with drink-induced dehydration is an annoyance at the best of time- in the prevailing dead heat the problem was exacerbated manifold.

We debated the options- The Queens in Dalkey? A trip down to Greystones? The Wicked Wolf in Blackrock? Eventually we settled on a trip out to the 40-Foot bar in Dun Laoghaire as the solution. A healthy light brunch sitting out in the sea breeze followed by a brisk walk along the pier would surely sort out our self-inflicted woes.

After a few black coffees and the guts of a large bottle of Ballygowan each to fortify us for our excursion, we made the short walk to Sandymount Dart station. We made smalltalk about the missed opportunities from the night before, the girls-that-might-have-been, at what point we had crossed the line of overdoing the drinking, about what we would do differently next time to maximise the opportunities.

When it eventually arrived , we got on the Dart. Though there were plenty of seats available, we stood opposite the opening doors and continued with our banter, laughing at incidents that had come to pass the night before that were probably humorous to nobody but ourselves.

I looked up, and in the seat in the corner of the carriage was the most astonishingly beautiful girl I have ever seen. If you took Denise Richards as a starting point, then made her prettier, with more presence and less attitude, gave her a naturally beautiful symmetric face with a high forehead, you’d only understand a fraction of how stunningly beautiful this girl was. She wore no make up, for makeup would only have detracted from her natural beauty. She didn’t have some leather D&G handbag or YSL purse hanging out of her, because her elegance was eternal, not defined by some fleeting label-defined trend. She had a long flowing curled blonde hair, cared for but not over-cared for. Gorgeous lips and an exquisite nose, a charming smile and the sort of complexion that Leonardo would crave in a subject completed this magnificent vision of beauty.

I was awestruck. I dearly hoped that she had planned for herself a brunch in the 40-Foot bar, that I might approach her and ask her something inane like ‘Didn’t I see you on the Dart earlier?’. After a languorous afternoon enjoying each others company in the sun, she would see the wisdom of our settling down; in time she would bear our children, and many years hence when enjoying each others companionship in our twilight years, we would fondly recall the day we had brunch together for the first time in Dun Laoghaire.

As I stood there besotted, I refined the weaknesses in my plan. In the five minutes before the Dart arrived at Dun Laoghaire station, I honed the approach and conceived all sorts of humorous things to say that might entertain her. I imagined her dazzling smile and her spectacular eyes sitting across from me. I wondered, when I would eventually propose marriage, where would be a sufficiently elegant place to bring her?

Lost in the delight that destiny had finally smiled so gracefully on me, I alighted the train at Dun Laoghaire Station. The doors were closing when I turned around, and she was still sitting in her seat. As the train pulled out of the station, I wondered, perhaps, should we have arranged to have brunch in Dalkey in the first place.

You are the saddest person I have ever met.

patch · 13-08-2003 6:12pm

Go easy on the chap.......I recall a similar post set in Bewelys if memory serves me.

The chaps clearly a romantic, and not afraid to say so!

dod · 13-08-2003 6:17pm

Originally posted by Wyvern
It was the morning after a quiet evening watching eastenders with a glass of red wine in one hand and the gently wafting aroma of dinner drifting in from the kitchen. 10 o'clock had struck and I went upstairs to relax with some yoga before bed.

...<snip/>...

I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed, looking forward to seeing my dear gran again. I will get the bus home I thought.

Absolutely top notch Wyvern. Top notch.

skipn_easy · 13-08-2003 6:37pm

Ah now, it just doesn't compare to your literary skills

UbahOne · 13-08-2003 10:45pm

Oh Christ...Romantic? Possibly...overdoing it? EH YE!!!!

Spacedog · 13-08-2003 11:55pm

Depends what you call romance I suppose. By todays standards Romeo would be arrested for climbing up into Juliets penthouse just because he got a quick snog in the club earlier. I guess back in those days full on stalking was appreciated for all the hard work it does intail. What is it with women these days, cant even lurk in a tree behind their bedrooms with a pair of night vision goggles when their getting changes without them getting all restraining ordery.

kamobe · 14-08-2003 12:04am

I saw a lovely girl on the DART today. She tried to steal my paper.

UbahOne · 14-08-2003 12:10am

I saw a group of scum on the dart down the back. They looked like ****, smelled like **** and had a limp and no teeth. Wow welcome to Dublin...:rolleyes:

D-Generate · 14-08-2003 12:17am

Thread of the month I thinks, along with the Male Masturbation one. I liked dod's post even thought it was a lot like the Bewleys one, but it was entertaining none the less. But Wyvern's was sheer genius, too much time went in to that reply

But still "Thread of the Month™"

kamobe · 14-08-2003 12:18am

There was a similar bunch of hoodlums sitting down the back of my carriage today as well.They weren't making much sense but generally barked in a Dublin accent. I wonder if they were celebrating exam results.

Poor chaps...

UbahOne · 14-08-2003 12:20am

I hate Scum...id love to kick you into England or something with a GIGANTIC BOOT

PiE · 14-08-2003 1:06am

roffle Wyvern.

fisty · 14-08-2003 1:11am

HAHA Wyvern.
Classic.

po0k · 14-08-2003 2:22am

pld dod and wyvern

Dod - I met you at Seán's 21st, but i've forgotten your name man...Damien...David...Darren?

Can't remember

Shite with names, rememebr your face though.

Rugby jersey too. Big lad. Sound chap.

UbahOne · 14-08-2003 3:19am

why wasnt i at this birthday party?

Hobbes · 14-08-2003 8:05am

Originally posted by dod
I looked up, and in the seat in the corner of the carriage was the most astonishingly beautiful girl I have ever seen. If you took Denise Richards as a starting point, then made her prettier, with more presence and less attitude, gave her a naturally beautiful symmetric face with a high forehead and the sweetest adams apple, you’d only understand a fraction of how stunningly beautiful this girl was.

O_O

b3t4 · 14-08-2003 8:28am

roflmao, Well written Wyvern

A.

TomTom · 14-08-2003 11:55am

lol @hobbes

elexes · 14-08-2003 12:29pm

2 classic short stories . 2 totaly different perspectives . 1 movie to come

bugler · 14-08-2003 12:46pm

While it's true that the Adam's apple is far more prominent in males than females, it isn't true to state that females have no adam's apple at all. It can be quite obvious on some, and is not an indicator of transgender monkey-business per se.

UbahOne · 14-08-2003 12:48pm

lock this ****e...

MrScruff · 14-08-2003 12:56pm

I have seen many girls,
On many DARTs,
That is all...

BKtje · 14-08-2003 12:59pm

Ubahone doesnt seem to appreciate "If Only Syndrome".
As in If only i wasn't a nerd so i could have a chance with "her".

(Disclaimer:I have no idea if the orig poster is a nerd or not

)

O btw i dont suffer from it, i suffer from "She was ugly anyway Syndrome"

UbahOne · 14-08-2003 1:05pm

lol i just think its turning into ****e...

PS: how do i have 19 posts per day?

Dustaz · 14-08-2003 1:27pm

because you post so much rubbish.

UbahOne · 14-08-2003 2:06pm

Yo moma is my moma

Big Chief · 14-08-2003 2:30pm

Originally posted by UbahOne
lol i just think its turning into ****e...

nothing nice to say, dont say it atall, if you dont like what your reading then dont read it..

Originally posted by UbahOne
PS: how do i have 19 posts per day?

because your a cocky arrogant man utd supporter who feels the need to waste my time on the football forum with 15+ crappy posts about man utd per day

UbahOne · 14-08-2003 2:38pm

Hey i think this thread was good but it turned to ****e...adams apples? I mean come on...

Big Chief...take a chill pill.

Big Chief · 14-08-2003 2:48pm

im not mad, nor do i need a chill pill. Was just answering your question

its not like this is the 1st thread to go 'off-topic' on boards either

dod, good writing skills as per usual, I actually do enjoy reading your posts, a bit cheesy all the same but good on you. Although i thought the reply by wyvern was 2nd to none

anyway im more of a dustaz thinker myself, good to see the other side of the fence though

edit =

If you took Denise Richards as a starting point, then made her prettier, with more presence and less attitude, gave her a naturally beautiful symmetric face with a high forehead, you’d only understand a fraction of how stunningly beautiful this girl was. She wore no make up, for makeup would only have detracted from her natural beauty. She didn’t have some leather D&G handbag or YSL purse hanging out of her, because her elegance was eternal, not defined by some fleeting label-defined trend. She had a long flowing curled blonde hair, cared for but not over-cared for. Gorgeous lips and an exquisite nose, a charming smile

i dont know exactly why but that paragraph really struck a note with me. Im no cheesy guy but that stuck.. reminds me of my ex except with brown not blonde hair

UbahOne · 14-08-2003 2:50pm

I waste your time on the soccer forum with 15+ posts per day....ban me then?

Big Chief · 14-08-2003 2:57pm

i wouldnt ban you, plus the fact i cant as i aint a moderator for that forum.

most man utd supporters are cocky + arrogant, and most of them have never been to manchester in there life. I just get on with it, all i did was answer your question about why you have 19 posts a day, I genuinely wasnt having a go

*ok cocky and arrogant was 'maybe' having a small dig, but when it comes to man utd... i take every opportunity i can!*

BKtje · 14-08-2003 2:58pm

He's not a soccer mod

Denise Richards

hmmmmmmmm (sorry i couldnt help myself any longer)

elexes · 14-08-2003 3:16pm

this is looking dead now but it has to be said
B-K-DzR
ur second smily is classic

The girl on the Dart

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