Pregnant and afraid

LegacyUser

So... I'm 17.
And I'm pregnant.
And how the fook am I going to tell my mother?
Or my EX-boyfriend.
Due my Leaving Cert results tomorrow.
Please help.

LegacyUser

After you fail your leaving cert and miss out on college, you'll have plenty of time left to raise your child. Just hide it any time your mother pops round. Better still if you can keep your pregnancy a secret, you can kill your child after its born effectively getting away with murder. Just make sure you're smart enough to dispose of its tiny little body properly, although you weren't smart enough to avoid getting pregnant.

Carnate

Originally posted by sensitive
After you fail your leaving cert and miss out on college, you'll have plenty of time left to raise your child. Just hide it any time your mother pops round. Better still if you can keep your pregnancy a secret, you can kill your child after its born effectively getting away with murder. Just make sure you're smart enough to dispose of its tiny little body properly, although you weren't smart enough to avoid getting pregnant.

Wow

I could comment on your Personal skills but why bother! You have proved what an IN-sensitive person you are!

AllFreekedOut, i hope that this helps, there are a number of organisations that can help you Cura, is one that springs to mind

http://www.iol.ie/cura/

They are possibly the best first stop to help you, im not an expert but have been close to a friend who had the same situation.

Hope this helps

As to Sensitive, Hope you have a Hard life.

Typedef

Originally posted by sensitive
After you fail your leaving cert and miss out on college, you'll have plenty of time left to raise your child. Just hide it any time your mother pops round. Better still if you can keep your pregnancy a secret, you can kill your child after its born effectively getting away with murder. Just make sure you're smart enough to dispose of its tiny little body properly, although you weren't smart enough to avoid getting pregnant.

Wow.

You're pretty brave, for someone who posts unregistered pussy. Run along now.

As to the girl.
What can I say?
Golden rule from the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy perhaps.

"Don't panic".

ferdi

heavy

Mr E

Originally posted by sensitive
After you fail your leaving cert and miss out on college, you'll have plenty of time left to raise your child. Just hide it any time your mother pops round. Better still if you can keep your pregnancy a secret, you can kill your child after its born effectively getting away with murder. Just make sure you're smart enough to dispose of its tiny little body properly, although you weren't smart enough to avoid getting pregnant.

Can admins track this muppet down by IP? I'm betting its a boards regular......

AllFreekedOut - hope everything works out for you....

- Dave.

LegacyUser

Sick bastid.
If you want to be a prikk about it, thats cool.
I wanted some non-judgemental advice.
But if you are the response, then phuck you.
Also - you want to question my abilities in school.
I got 600 points in my mocks.
Doing all honours subjects.
Already have a place in Trinity College doing what I love - music.
I made ONE mistake.
Dont judge me when you don't even know me.
As for " Better still if you can keep your pregnancy a secret, you can kill your child after its born effectively getting away with murder. Just make sure you're smart enough to dispose of its tiny little body properly, although you weren't smart enough to avoid getting pregnant."..........
screw you.
My father died when I was 4.
I am an only child.
My mother is all that I have and I am afraid that this will kill her.
My ex-boyfriend got me pregnant.
Let me also add at this point that when he did get me pregnant, it was not consensual.
So, next time you post something trying to be smart..... at least try to think of something original. Everyone goes down the "thick schoolgirl gets pregnant by her skanger fella" route. Its tired and its not reality.

Thank you for the CURA link Carnate.
I have already spoken to them, but they arent really a help.
I asked about the possibility of abortion and they were appalled and I felt they were a little judgemental.

I'll let you all know how I did in my exams.

And sensitive - rot in Hell.

Carobobaline

What a pr1ck! Anyway Cura are not really much good as you said but try this site. its Positive options-a new service which combines most Irish emergancy pregnancy services.

http://www.positiveoptions.ie/

Good luck

zAbbo

Don`t worry bout it original poster, All things happen for a reason. You have been blessed in a way.

ferdi

Originally posted by AllFreekedOut
it was not consensual.

eh....

someone else please deal with that one.

Paddy20

Being pregnant at your age is not unusual. Nature has strange ways of ensureing the continuation of the human species.

There is an enormous amount of help available to you, have faith, do not despair, be proud to be a lone parent which I sincerely hope is what you will decide to be.

As for telling your parents, well it is like well having a phobia about going too the Dentists. You just get on with it and what do you know it was not as bad as you thought.

What is the worst thing they can do, and then even if it turns out badly with your parents. Then they are not very good parents, are they.

However, you will be surprised just how many people will support you all the way.

Please, have courage, have your child and enjoy your life.

Good luck.

P.;)

LegacyUser

Thanks Caro.
Just had a look at that.
Its a touch more helpful than CURA.
My mother just called me and said she wants me to come home.
I came into town so I could post this and she wouldnt see it.
I have to tell her, there is no doubt about that.
But I'm in a dilemma.
Do I tell her now, before my results come out, because its better that we are realistic about my options?
Or after I get my results, when I know exactly where I stand?
Also, I'm confused as to what I should do about the man who got me pregnant.
He more or less forced himself on to me, but I don't want to make wild accusations that people won't believe because he was my boyfriend.
My mind is such a mess. :S
I really want to go out and get twisted drunk, but clearly can't - "in my condition".
I have stopped smoking too, but thats good.

ferdi

tell her now, the sooner the better, trust me.

patch

Well, from your original post and reply, it seems you're bright enough to deal with the situation in the best way for you.

For what it's worth, Whilst I'm sitting on the fence really on the abortion stance, you already bring up two of the instances where I would agree with a girl having an abortion.
I know people who have had, and generally it's the best thing at the time, but might be something that upsets you later in life.
If your were my sister I'd be buying you a ticket.
Good luck with everything.

As for the muppet above, what a bollix, I hope IP tracking shows everyone here who you really are.

LegacyUser

I don't neccessarily want to have the baby.
I don't have a maternal bone in my body.
Which gives rise to so many things.... adoption, abortion.
Both of which are flawed with the "What might have been" plague.
I have a feeling I would harbour resentful feelings towards the baby.
I don't want to be that kind of person.
I feel that maybe it would shatter my relationship with my mother.
It has always been us two against the world.
I can't begin to imagine how horrible that would be.
Career wise, it would be foolish to have a child now.
I am going to miss out on the best years of my life.
My life is going to be a mere shadow of what it could have been.

All of the above thoughts are in my head and they are fighting for prominence.

But (and it might be hormones) I have a physical ache inside me at the thought of not having the baby.

I will stop boring you all with this now.
Ordinarily at this point I would say - Go forth and multiply.... but it doesn't seem very appropriate.

A related question : Anyone think of baby names? Just in case....

ferdi

Originally posted by AllFreekedOut
A related question : Anyone think of baby names? Just in case....

i'm beginning to think......TROLL

Paddy20

AllFreekedOut,

I was not aware that you had lost your father so young, a tragedy. As for telling your Mother well you say you are an only child, but you are now in the position of being able to make your mother a happy grandmother, thereby giving her more reason to live?.. just tell her gently and quitely without hysterics.

No one needs to panic. Together you will cope admirably ifyou just be open - stop worrying - and tell your mother today asap!.

Education is important, but not in any way as important as you and your babys future life. Start with your mother and takeit slowly from there. As for the father well do you really need him, probably not.

Keep posting here!.

P.;)

patch

Originally posted by Paddy20
AllFreekedOut,

I was not aware that you had lost your father so young, a tragedy. As for telling your Mother well you say you are an only child, but you are now in the position of being able to make your mother a happy grandmother, thereby giving her more reason to live?.. just tell her gently and quitely without hysterics.

No one needs to panic. Together you will cope admirably ifyou just be open - stop worrying - and tell your mother today asap!.

Education is important, but not in any way as important as you and your babys future life. Start with your mother and takeit slowly from there. As for the father well do you really need him, probably not.

Keep posting here!.

P.;)

Forgive me, and I don't plan on getting into any kind of debate with you, but you sound like the leader of a cult. I'm all for making people feel better, but I get the feeling your not a person who see's any options in this case.
Which there clearly is.

LegacyUser

Troll? ..... Am I missing some joke?

I really don't think that using the grandmother approach is going to make things better.
I have a complicated relationship with her which is only going to be exascerbated by this situation.
But she is all that I have, like I said before.
She is quite religious and would not really agree with sex before marraige, contraception etc. She is a Pro-Lifer, so if I mention abortion to her she would lose the head.
There is a high probability that she will disown me.
And when I tell her about the situation with my ex she will go ballistic.
More than likely she will contact the police.

I'm very afraid of my ex.
I don't want him to know that I am pregnant because it means that I would have to see him on a regular basis if I keep the child.

And so the plot thickens.....

LegacyUser

He talks like a Pro-Lifer.....

zAbbo

troll

LegacyUser

Why do I get the impression that people are making fun of me?

rubberduckey

I would imagine that 99.9% of people on boards have nothing but
compassion and sympathy for the position you find yourself in.
I can't really proffer any wisdom/guidance but I can wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.

LegacyUser

Well... I won't be online for a few days.
Got a lot of thinking to do.
But thank you to all of you who tried to offer some support - it's most appreciated.
Cross all fingers and toes etc for a positive outcome in my exams at least.

Paddy20

Ok, I was trying to help. Not be insulted. I am a Silversurfer who has lived through this type of situation many many times and witnessed many different outcomes, as I spent over twenty years with the Citizens Advice Bureaux service in the UK, as a unpaid volunteer.

As there appears not to be any real Citizens Advice Bureaux* in the Republic, there is the Citizens Information Centres and I recommend that this young lady calls them and makes an appointment for a sit down face to face private and confidential chatwith someone who may really LISTEN and then give unbiased guidance, but the final decision remains with the individual.

A persons right to choose has to be respected.

And, this is no joke, nor a laughing matter.

P. Take my suggestion or leave it, the choice is yours, and I still wish all the best. No matter what you decide as you see I am only another human being.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by AllFreekedOut
He talks like a Pro-Lifer.....

And you like a Pro-Choicer...

You're just another troll, trying to push an agenda, IMHO.

In very bad taste.

embee

Your sitch is a bit poxy to say the least.

I havent a CLUE where ur head must be at but I assume ur head is totally wrecked.

I am a bit bothered by

it was not consensual

You should go to the cops, big time.

It dont matter that he was ur long term bf, if it was forced then the cops should be involved.

The mother issue is tricky I suppose too....

I dont rlly know what to say....

Hope your exam results are brilliant though.

and also, can I just say, you have the BEST punctuation I have EVER seen in a 17 year old.

GUI

Allfreakedout ..
if this is the real situation..

u should go with abortion..

im not a supporter of it but..

best in your situation..

u can go to college,
and have a ball..

next time it isnt "consensual"

get the morning after pill!!

13euro im told

Typedef

Originally posted by The Corinthian
And you like a Pro-Choicer...

You're just another troll, trying to push an agenda, IMHO.

In very bad taste.

boo

LegacyUser

"You're just another troll, trying to push an agenda, IMHO." - The Corinthian.

I am 17 years of age.
What agenda am I pushing, for goodness sakes?
I was asking for some advice, not for you to attack me.

The morning after pill is something I genuinely didn't think about.
Probably foolish, but there you go.
What's done is done.

GUI

well
lets pretend u can go back in time..
to the morning after..

ur telling me u wouldnt take the pill then?

The Corinthian

Originally posted by AllFreekedOut
I am 17 years of age.

I doubt that or that you're even female.

Yavvy

if this is a troll your a Fùcking muppet and remember your ip address can be tracked. I dont understand this type of troll ..

If you are for real, let me say this to you. Im going to be a father in 4 weeks time. At first I was scared, paniced worried and I was sure the ma and da would freak...but its not .......infact the past 8 months have been great and I cant wait to be a daddy.
I know my situation is a little easier than yours but before you go thinking abortion please remember that as soon as you let peoole help and support you it will get better.

You say your mother is religious yes ? I presume christian ?
your mother will love you no matter what you do and if you make the wring decision in her mind she will forgive it. Actually anything is forgivable ....

Having said all that if you are going to have an abortion I can help with advice. I had to arrange an abotyion in london for my ex 4 years ago. I will be happy to help.

Regards,
Alan

Paddy20

Well... that was a very quick few days offline?..

If you are real. Then get real. This is real life. Stuff your exams.

The responsibilities you now face are enormous. Get on with it.

That is my last word to you on this suspicious thread.

P.

LegacyUser

Well... I am female. I am 17. I will be 18 in September.
Track your IP or whatever it is - I'm currently in a net cafe place on O Connell Street for reasons I mentioned earlier.
Why you are calling me a troll is beyond me.
I would have thought the whole idea of the Personal Issues board is that a person can post anonymously. So, I'm not going to be showing you people my goddamn birth certificate just to prove you wrong.

elexes

whatever you do gl ull need it . if i was u id tell ur mom asap the sooner she knows the quicker things can settle down and u can think what ur going to do .

dont know where ur living but loads of girls in your area probably have had kids around the same age as urself . its not unusual these days .

as for giving the child up . id prob go for this over whatever else your facing . its much better for the both of you imo as u do seem by your posts to be a bit immature .

Carnate

Sensitive HAS been reported! No more posts from that Muppet!!


All, sry for the bad advice, i checked and your right they need lessons on how to be NON-Judgemental.

Ok to the hard matters,
1. if you were forced to have sex, report it Please!

2. Please Please tell your mother.

It will help you in the long run, and a problem shared is a problem halved.


Sounds Corny i know but it is good advice.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by AllFreekedOut
Why you are calling me a troll is beyond me.

Your story was losing credibility as you continued to post. As people gave you advice it was obvious that you already had made up your mind - which begs the question why are you asking for advice on options then?

The final straw was your use of the term “Pro-lifer” which is a slang term often used in universities and not really before. I doubt that anyone familiar with a term (which indicates a fair to good knowledge of the politics of abortion) is realistically looking for basic information as you claim.

As I said, you’re a troll - Almost certainly older than 17 and probably male too.

ferdi

corinthians got your number.

your obviously just pushing the agenda, otherwise....wouldnt you be a bit to fooked up to write so clearly and wittily (sp?), cause accoring to yourself you've been raped and the rest of your life is pretty messed up UNLESS you have an abortion, oh wait....hmmmm.

patch

You have to wonder what kind of idiot would even consider posting such insensitive crap.
Ah well, in my experience, what goes around comes around.

embee

she never made up their mind in the posts.... she was weighin up the pros and cons.... thats what came across when I read it anyhoo....

Shes only a young un, dont be mean.
Shes probably proper freakin out as well....

Not that I rlly have a clue....

Did she say she was raped?
I thought she wasnt sure.... I should learn to pay more attention...

U should tell ur mama also. Imagine the fallout if this all emerged in 10 years time...

Sick.

Gordon

Requested Admin to check sensitives IP address.

Allfreekedout - I wish you luck. We as a community must look out for each other - hence the postulation that you were trolling. You must understand that your posts do seem a tad ambiguous. Due to the nature of the situation, however, it shouldn't matter if the original poster was trolling or not* - there has been some good advice in this thread filled with strangeness.


*I personally believe

embee

Gordon makes a good point, even if it was a "troll" (not sure wot that is tho) theres useful links in there and it could very well be of use to someone right now....

Paddy20

You know, looking back over this thread , which imho looks like two bored - on holiday - school buddies, having a lark.

I should have spotted the obvious right at the start?..

1: The unregistered [Guest] named - AllFreakedOut - opens thread called "Pregnant and afraid".

2: This is answered almost immediately by another unregistered [Guest] called, sensitive -who posts an unsensetive provocative reply designed to cause an uproar!.

3: Well,all is well that ends well. Maybe as has already been pointed out , someone in real need may just benefit from this thread.

As for the 2 scallywags that started it all. They inadvertantly created a thread from which more genuine will good will probably emanate in the end.

An experience from which we all might just learn something.

Like humility and forgiveness.

P.

Nevyn

http://www.bpas.org/
http://www.ifpa.ie/
http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/pregnancy.html
http://www.solo.ie/
http://www.treoir.ie/


the links page on solo.ie conatins infomation on acessing all sorts of sercives health, adoption, housing what ever information you may need to sort out your life.

if you decide to have the child you dont need to keep it you can consdier fostering until you have your life sorted out a bit more. You will need all the help you can get and if you feel that you dont want the father of the child to know dont tell him and you can say it is not his.

There are many ways to acess help, go to your gp, health clinic or even if and when you make ur appointment in a maternity hospital you can talk to a socail worker about options.

you can defer a college place and then see where you are in a years time.

I know it is not easy but i do know mothers who got pregnat under the least pleasant circumstances that did indeed keep and love and rear the child.

listen to your insticts and if you are going to have the child wether you keep it or not you will need to talk to your mother but you dont have to do that alone.

Good luck to you dear,

Dr Bolouswki

Allfreakedout

Troll = chatroom/forum slang for someone who posts views that they don't necessarily subscribe to just to liven up a debate.

If you are a troll - well it worked, but despite the popular perception of on-line communities, I think, in general, most of the people who post here are well-intentioned and it would be a shame if you were exploiting that - it says more about you than it does about them, if thats the case.

If it's true? Well, if you were my sister (I'm 32 so gf would be a bad analogy) I'd recommend abortion. You're too young to have a kid. A kid needs a father as well as a mature, commited mother and unfortunately, a stable financial background is pretty necessary in this day and age. Religious and moral convictions are something you need to sound out yourself - I don't know what your beliefs are. I come from a pretty close family - Parents are religious, but not necessarily pro-lifers (what a dumb name!) so I'm lucky that I'd have more support maybe than you can rely on and would be more inclined to have the kid (or advise someone to have it) - if you only have your mom and she has very strict views on this... well, if you think it's at all worthwhile you should talk to her - she may be more supportive than you expect. If she can offer support maybe you could even have the kid. Abortion is not a light thing to consider, and can cause you years of guilt and sadness. Having the child could cause severe problems too. Better to live with regret than to risk your whole life and happiness on having a fear of regret.

Tiesto

Originally posted by GUI
Allfreakedout ..
if this is the real situation..

u should go with abortion..

im not a supporter of it but..

best in your situation..

u can go to college,
and have a ball..

next time it isnt "consensual"

get the morning after pill!!

13euro im told

you would kill a life to have a "ball"
sickening!!!

Dr Bolouswki

or ruin your life because of one ****ed up night?

yeah - well thought out advise tiesto.

goo

You can hardly say that her life would be destroyed, just different.

My Mam was, frankly, very young when I was conceived and as time goes on and I digest my parent's relationship more there is no way, in my eyes, that it was intentional. Her life quite obviously changed and there've been many times that I was certain I'd ruined her life but the impression she gives me is that's it changed, of course, but not necessarily for the worse.

Also...

"and also, can I just say, you have the BEST punctuation I have EVER seen in a 17 year old."

...as a 17 year old, I'm slightly offended.

Dr Bolouswki

I tried to be balanced in my advice goo - tessio is trying to push his morals on the girl - 'ruined' is probably too strong a word... but with no father on the scene and an unsupportive family??? It'll certainly be no bed of roses...

goo

The presumption about her Mother is understandable for the girl to make, but not for anyone else.

Since when did "religious mother" mean "zealous hell-bitch"?

Well, since when did it start meaning that again?