Equality and Divorce

Memnoch

It seems to me that when there is a case of divorce in many countries its the man that has to "Pay"

In that the woman gets to keep the kid and the man gets "visitation" rights. Is this the way to go? Or is joint custody while better for the parents harmful to the child? As in living 3 days with his dad and 4 days with his mum, which is worse perhaps for the kid?

What about the fact that in many countries a guy has to give money to his wife? I mean this was something that may have had some kind of valid backing god knows how many years ago. But if each person is independant and equal why the hell should a guy have to give money to his wife that he earned? ESPECIALLY if she has a job and career herself?

Why is the system so hell bent against men? I can understand that this kind of thing may have been necessary in the past. But in today's modern society are these seemingly archaic laws still needed? Is it time to get rid of them?

I welcome enlightenment and debate, but no flaming pls, or personal insults.

BKtje

I was under the impression that whoever got custody of the child received payment from the other parent till the child is 18? Usually men paying women as they get custody. Not always mind.

skipn_easy

Under irish law, when it comes to divorce both parents have equal rights to custody of any children but generally the children will live with only one parent - depending on their living arrangements, financial matters etc. This often turns out to be the mother as I think they are more likely to be dedicated to the children, more willing to be solely responsible for them and more suited to the act of raising children.

It can be arranged between the parents to have equal custody, as in 3 days with one parent and 4 with another, but this would probably be inconvenient - any one have any experience of this situation? The parent who doesn't have custody is entitled to access but this has to be agreed upon with the other parent.

The reason the men end up 'paying' in the end is that if the mother has sole custody of the children, even if she's independant and has a career, its only fair that the father of the child contribute some of his earnings to the support of the children. Otherwise, he would get away without paying for any of the childrens' expenses, and that wouldn't be fair. This would encourage any men that they could get their wife pregnant and leave them without any thoughts of responsibility.

Memnoch: But if each person is independant and equal why the hell should a guy have to give money to his wife that he earned? ESPECIALLY if she has a job and career herself?

I think if the woman has her own career and gets half of everything the couple had then she would not be getting payments from her husband. But if it is the case that the wife has no job and has been supported fully by her husband then he is expected to continue to support her until she can do so herself. This is just to protect the woman in the case where she is a housewife and the husband has a full career and decides to leave the woman, with no prospects of a job, no money and no where to live.

bizmark

women nearly always get the kids/house/every thing + money from their destroyed ex hubby who can look forword to liveing in a one bedroom ****hole and never seeing his kids again

getting married = wast of time and money

and thats all im going to be arsed adding to this lol

halkar

Originally posted by bizmark
women nearly always get the kids/house/every thing + money from their destroyed ex hubby who can look forword to liveing in a one bedroom ****hole and never seeing his kids again

getting married = wast of time and money

and thats all im going to be arsed adding to this lol

Well said bizmark sooooooooooooooo f***ing true

Memnoch

ah bizmark ur so wrong.

You don't understand, society oppresses women, therefore it must compensate

Anyways I've already found a simple solution to the problem and I urge ANY man to do the same.

Sign a simple prenuptial agreement with your wife... along the lines of...

rule 1) If any of the couple has an illicit relationship, then their partner is allowed to end the marriage and the cheater gets nothing. (kids included)

rule 2) If the marriage ends by mutual consent of both parties, than neither is entitled to compensation, all they get is what they put in based on income etc.

rule 3 ) If one of the parties wishes to unilateraly end the relationship without "rule 1" having come into effect, then they aren't entitled to any compensation.

Ofc this is just a rough draft, i'll probably speak with a lawyer before a finalised version that accounts for everything. Hopefully this will prevent me from being fleeced in the event that my wife decides to screw me over at some point. And notice the agreement works both ways? But since I've no intentions of betraying her I'm not worried about that.

Ironically enough my fiance has already agreed to the general outline, since she knows i'm a paranoid freak, and well she has no intentions of betraying me either.

I'd say the same goes for any couple. If a woman isn't going to screw u over, then i don't see why this should be a problem.

Whoever is responsible for destroying the marriage should be the one to pay, not the the guy as it always seems to be.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Memnoch
Sign a simple prenuptial agreement with your wife

FYI - Prenups are not recognised in Irish law.

Just don't marry. Cohabitate, as Irish law also fails to recognise palimony.

Problem solved :rolleyes:

Shilo

Your pre-nup doesn't bode well for the children you both helped to create, now does it? Or are you of the opinion that if your wife is unfaithful, your children must have been 'in on it' somehow and they're intending to screw you over as well?

Interesting idea... I can see you put a lot of thought into it.

gom

Originally posted by bizmark

getting married = wast of time and money

Its the only way a man can secure his rights to his shild

Otherwise he has absolutly none. Other than HAVING to contribute financailly to the child by law.

If your a man and you want/have a child GET married. Otehrwise you will suffer the wims of the childs mother

Lukin Black

Would it be as funneh if it was "Was Hers"?

Wook

damn somehow this photo hurts my manly pride !

McGinty

1) If the man gets full custody of the children, then the working ex-wife should pay maintenance, because he is providing financially for the children.
2) If the woman gets full custody of the chidlren, then the working ex-husband should pay maintenance, because she is providing financially for the children.

3) Again if either is not working.

Why? because it is fair, and it is right.

When a man or woman brings a child into the world, they are responsible for that child, be it financially, emotionally and so forth. Each person should be able to reasonably sort out an agreement of childcare between each partner, if not they are responsible for letting their children down and hurting them. Bring in the lawyers and your in trouble.

I don't believe it is right for an ex-husbnad or wife to asbscond from their financial responsibilty even if the other is working.

Bismark - why the attitude? Where has that come from? Do you have children? Have you been divorced? Or are you subject to hearsay?