LOSSING IT!!! (Longish soz)

Wolf

This is a thread about something that has happened to me recently and has been happening to me for as long as I can remember.

For various reasons life can get ontop of me for time to time and I find myself getting gradually more and more wound up. This isnt normally a problem, normally in very relaxed and get on with everyone famously.

I am a very relaxed person and have taken a fair amount of sh!t throughout my life and im well used to dealing with it. I should also ponit out that im not depressed and when I say dealing with it I mean I dealing with it, I dont bottle it up. Some of the stuff I have to deal with is quite serious but that stuff is another story, now to the crux of the problem.........

Well I will dreg up the most recent of these occurances. Back there on friday night I went out on the piss and met up with a few work mates after having a rediculous amount to drink (although noramlly I never have any problems with anger and drink, if anything its the opposite). We went back to a mates flat and various people pissed me off in a number of ways. It all came to a head when one of my mates scored the girl I told him I liked and not just that but he has a girlfriend (a lovely girl) and a son ffs.

Now noramlly I would have just said well alls fair in love and war, but what with everything else that has happened recently, I just went into a blind rage.

Now dont get me wrong these bouts of rage are never taken out on anyone phyically, I just thought Id get that in there.

Well I stormed off broke a few glasses on the way. Went into the bathroom and smashed a mirror (all of which I have paid for). Then left.

The point is this isnt the first time (or the last time im sure) that this happened. It usually happens about once a year but it used to be alot more regular than that. That is when I was a kid they were very common and usually not that bad really. As I have gotten older it has been much less frequent but much more intense.

If I ever do take it out on someone instead of just stuff its usually in a verbable tiraid (never physical), which unfortunatly im rather good at. ie find that things to say that will really sting and even worse still that are true. For example on the way home the other night I sent a txt to the guy saying "I hope your sons proud of you now"

The point is I allways regret the way I act imediatly afterwards and end up feeling terriable for days afterwards. I was just wondering does anyone have/had this problem. Its not something I can controll to well and usually I can tell when its coming but only as in 'I feel like im due one any week now'.

This is probably my biggest failing to date and in a way it scares the hell outa me I hate it when I lose controll in this way and what people must think of me

Well Ill throw it open to the floor and all comments are welcome.

PS If you feel there is more info that I should have inculded please just ask. Also I thought about posting this under a anom nick but I feel that I should be honest about this

Crucifix

This happens to me too. Unfortunatly I don't know of any solution.

Falkorre

Wolf

Actually, this aint half as uncommon as u might think, a lot of us get angry easilly and take it out on inanimate objects, its usually because we cannot express anger properly, in a way that is not damaging emotionally or physically, so we store it up, till we cant take any more of it and let fly on whatever is nearby.

There are many counsellors who specialise in anger managment techniques, (pm me if you would like a contact list), these are usually very effective. I would highly reccomend some for of counselling on dealing with anger tho', because apart from being an emotionally unhealthy thing, if you smashed a mirror etc, it could be getting to a point where u might accidently get injured or unintentionally injure somone else, nevermind the financial / legal risks.

Hope that helps some.

B:)

Wolf

I should also point out that im a total people person. I usually get on famously with everyone. I have time for everyone and am always very open and approachable. This only comes out every now and again.

I should also say that im not always angry. Also, it not a case of stored up anger but more stored up disapointment/pressure.

Ruu_Old

when u feel something coming on, feeling anger or whatever, go distract urself with something maybe. Have you any close friends who could listen to what you go through?

Wolf

Originally posted by Ruu
when u feel something coming on, feeling anger or whatever, go distract urself with something maybe. Have you any close friends who could listen to what you go through?

Problem there is that im the person everyone else relise on. Im the person everyone else tells sh!t to. Im the one that has to be there for everyone and never let t5hings get to me and help everyone else out. It just the way things are, and most the time I do that and its fine but sometimes I just get angry at the world in general.

Ruu_Old

then im sure ur friends wont mind lending a shoulder once in a while for urself seeing as ur being so good to them, give it a try, may just work. You might just need an outlet once in a while

smiles

Anger management theraphy might be useful.

I know what it's like to get angry, cept I only get angry in extreme cases and then I get so angry it takes several hours to wind down, it's something you learn to control tbh.

<< Fio >>

Wolf

Originally posted by Ruu
then im sure ur friends wont mind lending a shoulder once in a while for urself seeing as ur being so good to them, give it a try, may just work. You might just need an outlet once in a while

Well as far as this goes (many) people rely on me. For me to goto pot wouldnt really go down too well. I mean certain familly members rely on me and if I was to show any kinda cracks it would be really unbenifical. There are some people I can talk too but they are few and far between and very far away atm.

Anger management theraphy might be useful.

I know what it's like to get angry, cept I only get angry in extreme cases and then I get so angry it takes several hours to wind down, it's something you learn to control tbh.

I have a really good handle on my anger. It takes a hugh amount to get me angry normally. If anything big happens I usually have a clam and good way of looking at it. It just seem that every now and then every few months something small will set me off and thats why I find it strange

bug

A very good friend of mine who generally has a very placid temprement went through something much the same he is 26 now and this all began when he was 16/17. (Its finished now about a year or so) He told his GP who said it was hormone based, testosterone levels rising and falling, and the GP said to him that it was due to puberty- yes I know- we all thought that was over when we were 14, I watched a program related to it, you know the famous doctor with the soothing voice and beard, and he said much the same thing. As for me I go into a blind rage about two days a month, (being a girl) I tend to avoid ppl at this time as much as I can, and then its gone. ...so although I'm not a doctor, I think this could possibly be a reasonable explanation, consult your GP if its really bothering you though

xx

Hey, its all part of being human, man. Nobody expects you to be Mr. Happy the whole time. I wouldn't say I've got any anger management issues, but I've been prone to turning into a total nut from time to time. Life is stressful, people are stressful, drinking is a catalyst etc etc etc...

lordsippa

Man, don't worry. Just try to only destroy worthless sh1t you've lying around at home. I often am a person people turn to and tell all their problems to. And I also am infamous for the times I DO lose my temper (I grew up with a really bad one and have learned to control it most of the time, not even getting slightly angry at most things). It's life though. Just gotta ride it through and try to remember consideration for other peoples property.

Wolf

xx your probably right.

I think maybe people are more taken aback when I do it because its so out of character and also because when I do lash out I have a tounge like a scythe which I normally keep well hidden as well.

Also, what Bug said is probably part of it as well. I know my sister had big problems and still has it and shes 28.

I suppose, I might just grow out of it. As I have said its heppened less and less as I have gotten older. Maybe ill just have to keep my head down and work throgh it.

Thanks everyone. Your all the people that I am able to talk to cheers

Dagon

I had a serious problem with losing it like that. Often I would say things I didn't mean and do things that would not only make others feel bad, but would make me feel badly afterwards often for a long time.. I knew it wasn't right it but still I fell into the same trap time and time again.

Focusing on something else, or getting away from the anger does not help. You are only suspending the problem, not dealing with it. Dealing with it is the trick, and since I did Vipassana meditation I haven't had one serious outburst - I came close, but I dealt with it successfully using a technique which involves observation of the self and of the anger.

This technique will solve your problem, and you will not be a slave anymore to this anger and fury... instead you will become it's observer, and it will evaporate from your system leaving peace...

although it seems people around here are quite skeptical about eastern meditation? Still, I'm living proof that it works and I know others.

MrNuked

Lay off the drink. Go to the gym.
I know i used to get so mad that my vision would cloud over and then there'd be a blank and then I'd be on top of someone pounding the **** out of them with my friend asking me to stop. Never started a fight though. It was weird because when I came out of it I'd have no anger at all, and would feel mildly shocked at my situation and have ansolutely no recollection of it.

Done stupid things too, like punching walls, which just hurts a lot.

Whickey is terrible for making you angry too.

Wolf

As i have said tho I have NEVER taken it out on anyone else physicaly.

daveg

Wolf we all get wound up every now and again and "loose the rag". Don't feel bad about it.

Wolf

Well cheers all, at least I dont feel like such a d1ck now ta

Ruu_Old

not to worry mate theres plenty in ur situation, anytime u want a chat just pm if u wish, im always around, good luck