Before we go any further, the subject of this AMA could be particularly upsetting to people who may have had a similar experience to our guest. If that is the case, you are not alone. There are people who can help you get through this and listen if you need to talk.
One in Four:
Ph: 01 662 4070
Rape Crisis Centre:
Ph: National 24-Hour Helpline: 1 800 778 888
Our next guest was abused as a child and would like to answer your questions about that. She was abused by a neighbour at the age of 6 and then again for three years between the ages of 10 - 13 by a family member. She has suffered horribly with anxiety over the years, but is on the other side now and tries to help other adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. She is now married with children of her own.
My God, I hope you have found some peace, I don't really know what to ask - I feel ghoulish asking.
But I hope the neighbour and family members are facing/have faced justice for their actions ?
No questions from me, been down a similar road to you, just wanted to say well done for doing this, its not easy an easy thing to speak about, never will be.
May your journey forward grant you happiness from the strenght of facing your previous path with courage.
Do you think your parents knew? I ask as a parent. What are the signs we should look for in your opinion?
Selfish questions I know, huge respect to you for doing this AMA.
An incredible topic from an incredible person.
Thank you for doing this.
I'm sure every situation is different but are there are common tell tale signs we should be on the look out for if a child is at risk of sexual abuse, or has become a victim of?
Congrats on moving on with your life and being strong.
My question,do you feel it has tainted your perception of sexual relations with your partner?
Thank you, I also hope that you are doing good. I need to speak out I feel like it is helping with my recovery but it's certainly not easy.
My parents knew about the first time when I was 6. The second time I only told my mom, my dad still doesn't know. My parents had divorced by the time the second time happened.
Regarding signs to look out for it's a tough one because I am sure everyone is different but maybe not wanting to be left alone with certain people that they were once ok with being with. Changes in behaviour, acting out angry etc.
Thank you. Good question, yes 100% it has affected all of my relationships. When I was younger I couldn't say no.
I am married now to a great man who is so understanding but it wouldn't bother me to never have a sexual relationship.
Thanks. I answered something similar to this above about tell tale signs in my experience such as not wanting to be left alone with a particular person that was never an issue before and behavioural problems such as anger etc.
Try have as honest a relationship with your child as possible, answer any questions that they may ask you as honest as possible even if you feel the child is not old enough for the answer. You don't need to go into anymore detail than the child has asked for. I think this would make it much easier for your child to approach you. In my opinion.
Well done for putting yourself out there and talking about this topic. It isn't easy. It's taken me a long time to get to grips with my own abuse and, from the brief bio given, I can see that yours was a more long-term case.
I can't think of anything questions just now but I will keep an eye on this one and thanks for taking the time out to do it.
Thank you. I hope you are doing ok. It has also taken me so long to try move on from my past. I'm 40 now.
As a survivor, what's your opinion on counselling services such as above, Better Lives programme (only available in prison I think?) and FPS who treat sex offenders but also sexual abuse survivors?
FPS have been run out of Sallynoggin & Shankhill by "activists".
Both they & 1 in 4 treat both offenders and victims; separately obviously.
Were you aware that what was happening was wrong?