Okay so despite my username, I'm not some newbie confused lesbian. I'm pushing 30 and have been out since I was 19.

In REAL life I normally wouldn't notice guys, and certainly have no desire to have sex with one. I love having sex with women, and I've had a girlfriend for the past year.

My problem, or I'm not sure if that's the correct term.. issue? The issue I'm having that I really feel I need to address is that I've been masturbating to gay male porn for the past few months!!! I'm struggling to remember how this all came about really. I've watched porn intermittently for years, never really needed to that much and the majority of so-called "lesbian porn" is not in the least bit sexy, and sometimes quite demoralizing anyway.

However, my girlfriend and I are living quite a distance away from each other at the moment, and not seeing each other as often as we'd like, and so I guess I am masturbating more frequently. I know my girlfriend sometimes watches porn, or knowing her tastes, really badly made lesbian movies with that one sex scene. And she knows that I sometimes watch it too. She does NOT know that I've been watching this kind of porn though. I've been feeling kind of guilty about it lately, not to mention alarmed at my tastes. I've never even really enjoyed straight porn, so I don't even know where this is coming from.

Anyway, I was just wondering if there are any lesbians out there that have any thoughts on this. Should I be feeling guilty? Or alarmed, or whatever it is I'm feeling?

Dr. Shrike Registered User

Could you describe any specific features about the gay porn you enjoy watching the most?

Amirani Moderator

I don't think you should feel guilty about it, or indeed have to do anything to "fix" it because to me it doesn't really seem like a problem.

Once it's not have a negative impact on your relationship then you have nothing to worry about, just do whatever you enjoy doing.


In all honesty OP, it's not half as unusual as you'd think.



I'm not going to lie. I do it too. I'd consider myself pretty much 100% gay, in a committed long term relationship. Proper, real, lesbian porn is very hard to come by, certainly without it being ridiculously overracted, with fingernails that would scare the bejesus out of any sensible lesbian and pneumatic boobs. And in all fairness straight porn is as bad. The women are just... bizarre looking. That's not a turn on! At least the men in gay porn look vaguely human!!!

People are different. Embrace it. Think about what gets you going in the watching of it. It might point you to something you could try out in your own sex life with your partner. It's probably not looking at the men that gets you going but the acts featured. All of which can be done with the correct purchases.

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Straight male here, and my girlfriend watches stuff which frightens me. Its fantasy. its not real. I really wouldn't worry about it. I know a straight girl who enjoys gay male porn. I don't think you are the only one.

At the end of the day, so long as its consenting adults you are watching, what does it matter?


reminds me of that scene from 'The Kids are Alright', very funny movie.
The biggest difference between men and women (other than the obvious) is that women don't get to experience their arousal as objectively as men. (for lack observable organs) So they tend to respond well when there are visual factors which demonstrate arousal well, like two gay men for example. I read that in a book somewhere.

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taxAHcruel Registered User

I do not think it is unusual for people of one sexuality to be interested in the idea or even sight of sex involving a different sexuality - even if they themselves have no interest in actually engaging in it.

It would be interesting for example to know statistics on how many entirely straight men enjoy gay porn - despite the fact they would never engage in any homosexual acts themselves.

As long as it is not negatively impacting your life in any way - and you know who you want to be with and you strive to be with that person - then I do not think it is an issue to be concerned about.

As for the OP and another user not being able to find decent lesbian porn - my girlfriends really do enjoy the stuff produced and released by Abby winters. Amateur lesbian porn involving entirely normal every day women in real non artificial situations. It might be the thing to check out for you.


taxAHcruel said:

As for the OP and another user not being able to find decent lesbian porn - my girlfriends really do enjoy the stuff produced and released by Abby winters. Amateur lesbian porn involving entirely normal every day women in real non artificial situations. It might be the thing to check out for you.

Yeah, that stuffs ok. There's a few places doing really good queer & feminist porn but tbh it's pricey! Thing is most porn is made for the male gaze, whether it involves / is produced by women or not. It's hard to find porn that reflects every type of person, ie a butch lesbian, etc. So you end up having to mix and match, as it were.

Scruffy...The Janitor Registered User

I know it's not really the same. But as a gay guy I have a particular type that I would go for in other guys. When i'm looking at porn though I've found that a lot of the time, porn featuring the type of guys I like just doesn't do it for me. I fancy the actors a lot of the time but the actual movies don't do it for me.

As a result I tend to look at porn that varies wildly from my type. Even to the point where if I saw the actors out on the street I wouldn't give them so much as a second glance. The movies they're in just seem so much more sensual, sexual and believable. They look like they are actually enjoying what they're doing. It's quite different from looking at a different gender I know but maybe, if, as you say, lesbian porn is so not sexy, it's more about the sexuality and sensuality of the acts rather than the actual people or acts involved.

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Thanks for all the replies. I haven't seen The Kids Are Alright but I watched the scene in that link and it was very funny - will definitely get around to it at the weekend!

Personally speaking, I was mainly concerned about where my desire to watch two gay guys having sex came from. I had watched it before but I've only noticed that in the last few months when I have watched porn it's been exclusively gay male porn.

I think there's definitely something to the point about the visual arousal of men. I don't normally find the male form sexually attractive, but perhaps it is the visual arousal factor.

I have watched amateur lesbian porn before too, but as babyandcrumble pointed out, it can be a mixed bag. Not to mention the price tag!

It's definitely been a curious phenomenon for me and something I wanted some opinions on. I will probably drop it into conversation with friends at some point, might make for a lively discussion.

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poundapunnet Registered User

I can understand why it'd be disconcerting but I really wouldn't be concerned about it. From the (little) I know of my straight male friends' viewing habits in this area, if I thought they were at all reflective of their sexual appetites or attitudes to women then I'd try and have them sectioned, the titles alone on some of the porn sites are half funny half terrifying (actually I think that might be one of the titles ). There's no predicting what you'll find arousing, and it's not a reflection on anything really.

(I can't remember the name of the study, but they did once measure different levels of arousal from different sexual images, and found that the more highly sexed a straight man was the more likely he was to get turned on by images of gay sex, go figure.)

It could be just the sheer novelty of gay porn too like, the longer you've been watching the more variety of stuff you're likely to go through phases of enjoying.

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