This is the first chapter of a short story I wrote to try out self publication through fastpencil.com
The full piece is on there now. Let me know if you want to read the rest and I will pm you the link
Lucifer has uncovered a plot by heaven to expand their dominion into the Kingdom of Men. He enlists the help of a Private Investigator to help him foil the machinations of his nemesis, Yahweh.
"So, Gader'el. The task is a simple one."
Lucifer was seated behind a large mahogany topped desk, resting his aquiline chin against steepled forefingers. He was dressed in a conservative, immaculately tailored grey suit. He contemplated Gader'el through horn-rimmed spectacles with alert, grey-green eyes. Gader'el suspected that nothing escaped their scrutiny.
"Uh huh." Gader'el nodded, swallowing nervously. He was acutely aware of the creases and grease marks that sullied the lines of his grey Premark special (50% off in the January sales).
"I have it on good authority," Lucifer continued, "that our eternal friend is making a play for market share."
He spread his hands across the desk, unraveling a crisp white chart. The desk itself was bare, apart from a nondescript silver name-plate that displayed a small white star in lieu of an actual name.
"Based on our current projections we're forecasting some astonishing growth rates." He said, pointing at a line graph on the chart.
"The R&D department has produced an interesting study on population growth projections. It appears we're at a tipping point where population moves from linear growth into an exponential curve."
"Um, ok?" Gader'el was not a man for business talk or numbers.
Lucifer regarded him coolly. He leaned over to his right and pulled a file out of the top drawer. He casually flipped through the pages of the folder, pausing now and then to read details that interested him. Gader'el watched the performance impassively.
"You have an unusually checkered history within our organisation." Lucifer said as he continued leafing through the file.
"Ok, look, the thing is," Gader'el interjected, gesticulating wildly,
"That whole situation with the baby camel and the girl in H.R. was a miss-understanding."
Lucifer held up an immaculately manicured hand. The gesture was more than symbolic. Gader'el's mouth continued opening and closing in a facsimile of speech but no sound escaped his lips. Realising he looked and sounded remarkably like a fish out of water, Gader'el stopped trying to explain the miss-understanding.
"I am familiar with the 'whole situation' Gader'el." Lucifer continued.
"I did not summon you here to give me excuses for your past proclivities. I was merely stating a fact."
Gader'el nodded his understanding and Lucifer lowered his hand.
"Your methods are certainly unorthodox." Lucifer continued, "You seem to create more problems than you solve, but you do have an impeccable track record."
He closed the file and pushed it to the end of the desk closest to Gader'el.
"I have need of your services." Lucifer sat back in his chair. He flicked at a non-existent spec of dust on the shoulder of his suit. "In this instance you will waive your usual fee. I am not entirely unreasonable, so I will be offering you a clean slate in exchange. That file will disappear."
"Um, I think I'd rather get paid if it's all the same to you?"
"The job is fairly straightforward." Lucifer continued, ignoring Gader'el's response.
"I need you to find a girl."
Gader'el perked up immediately.
"Well, that is my speciality." He quipped.
"Yes, I know." Lucifer replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Let's just say there are a number of reasons why you may have some difficulty finding this one. The girl in question is pregnant. She will have only just conceived and may not even know she is pregnant."
"Ok, no problem, it's just...Well, let's revisit this pro-bono thing." Gader'el was nothing if not dogged.
"It's not up for negotiation. Everything has been prepared in anticipation of your transcendence."
"Right, right..." Gader'el licked his lips nervously, "The thing is, I have some particularly large debts that can't exactly... "
Lucifer waved his hand. This time the gesture was subtle. A slight curl of the wrist ending with an outward push. There was a soft popping sound and Gader'el was gone. Lucifer smiled to himself. Despite the belligerent lack of respect for authority, he quite liked Gader'el.
"Chip off the old block." He thought.
With the next two chapters? being found already on a link shared here ...... http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=80877182&postcount=7 ...... please tempt us with delights in Chapters 4 and above.
And I second Agent Weebley's thanks for the sharing of yourself in the thoughts that you leave behind, here and there, and wherever they may be found, floating around in space.
Are you the same amanfrommars who frequents the el reg forums? You sound as trippy as they are.
Anyway, if you followed the link you would probably have seen that the right hand column of the blog has a lovely link to buy the story. It'll cost you all of 99 cent.