irishbarb Registered User
#16

I think you did the right thing OP! Even if you just took your own children out, the other children still have to suffer on under her care, and it sounds far from ideal! I think a lot of the time it's better just to avoid getting services (mechanics, plumbers, electricians etc.) from any family members because it just causes too much arguments and hassle. I would be interested to know what the outcome of the HSE visit was, if you feel comfortable with sharing it.

Good luck!

9 people have thanked this post
farmchoice Registered User
#17

What you have done is very much the nuclear option. It is going to bring a world of trouble down on your sister in law. Now personally I think you were well within your rights and had little option.

Here is my bit of advice.
Under no circumstance admit what you have done. Deny it to the ends of the earth. When you are accused of it deny it outright and claim to be most offended that they would even think you capable of such a thing.

you might feel you have done nothing wrong and have noting to be ashamed of but the reality is you have most likely brought about the end of your sister in laws source of employment and income. not only that but if the revenue become involved she could be looking at a massive tax bill and penalties. She could in theory be prosecuted by a couple of different state bodies.

Get your story straight and stick with it.

11 people have thanked this post
pickarooney Moderator
#18

You sound like you're making a huge drama out of something that doesn't need to be. Your responsibility is to your child and it's a bit pathetic that you can't stand up to him and he can't stand up to his sister and that your child should suffer for the sake of these ridiculous histrionics.

'World War 3' 'holy hell' 'all out war' - no, there was a disagreement between your immediate family and your extended family about something which is none of their business.

You do what you need to do for your children, plain and simple.

12 people have thanked this post
irishbarb Registered User
#19

farmchoice said:
you might feel you have done nothing wrong and have noting to be ashamed of but the reality is you have most likely brought about the end of your sister in laws source of employment and income. not only that but if the revenue become involved she could be looking at a massive tax bill and penalties. She could in theory be prosecuted by a couple of different state bodies.


That's not the OPs fault, that is the SIL's fault for operating illegally.

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farmchoice Registered User
#20

irishbarb said:
That's not the OPs fault, that is the SIL's fault for operating illegally.


very true, but im not sure the sister in law or her family are going to see it that way.

1 person has thanked this post
carolinespring Registered User
#21

The OP had nothing wrong and I find it amazing that some people think she has.

Her sister in law can mind 3 pre school children without notifying to the HSE but must as soon as she takes on the 4th child and with 8 under 4 years she is well out of line.

OP is also right in informing the HSA. By the sounds of it no Health and Safety was in place, plus a injury happened in the workplace and must be reported. The childminder should have a safety statement, training, policies and procedures and a copy given to all parents. It sounds like a joke of a set up. My heart bleeds for the poor children who had to go to this awfu plac every day.

As for the childminder tax affairs, I am glad the OP reported her. 1600.00 per week from the pre schollers without counting what she was charging for the 5 after schools, who I am sure are full time during the holidays so she was taking in at least 8000.00 a month and not paying a red cent on it.... and not spending any of it on the welfare of the children in her care.
She deserves all she gets. No wonder Ireland is in such a state with that kind of crap going on. I personally hope she gets the full force of the law.

I am self employed and make sure my take affairs are in order.

Personally OP you did your children, yourself and all the other kids and parents a massive favour by reporting her. Its totally up to you if you decide to tell your husband. I am sure he won't be saying it to the in laws and he has no reason to be mad at you. You did what was right for your little girls. I do think your husband is a major whim who needs to man up.

I hope all goes ok when you collect this evening and try and relax.

Was a wonderful thread on here a while ago about how amazing a childminder was. Might be worth reading. Think it was called heartbroken.

If you feel you can let us know what happens, but do move you kids to someplace they will be safe and happy.

Well done you!! xx

17 people have thanked this post
yellowlabrador Registered User
#22

I would advise you to take time off and stop sending your children to an unsafe environment. I would do this now, not wait. Maybe unpaid leave? it's an emergency after all. There may be hostility towards your children after this and they are too small to cope. You can then arrange alternative care. Tell your husband that he can go on financing his sister if that is what he wants.

2 people have thanked this post
Calhoun Registered User
#23

GarIT said:
If it was me I'd move them somewhere else and tell the husband you'll look for a divorce if he can't man up about it. I'd also own up about calling, tell them what they were doing was illegal and to sue you if they have a problem.

Your sister is doing f all, taking in €1,600 per week and not paying tax, what you did was right.


Couldnt agree more with this what are you unoffical dole for your crazy sister in law? I mean you are paying for a service and from the sounds of it an expensive one at that. If she doesnt cut the mustard move your kids you owe her nothing.

You need to be more assertive when it comes to your kid, when it comes to raising your kids there is no time for arguments or discussion with anyone but your husband advise them that who you send them to is none of their business and the conversation is over.

Finally, i would strongly consider cutting contact from his family members. They have been nothing but disrespectful and think how they have treated your kids, could they be spiteful or mean to them in the future if left in contact with them? this whole situation would be a dealbreaker for me i would not trust any of them to be around them again.

If your husband doesnt agree well like Gar said divorce him, if he is more worried about keeping the peace than his families welfare he isnt worth anything.

1 person has thanked this post
#24

unhappy out said:
Did I do the right thing and what would you have done?


Yes, you did the right thing and I would have done the same.

Not reporting carry on like this is what makes it so easy for people to scam the system in this country. Too many people worried about what the neighbours might think if it comes out that you reported someone carrying out illegal activity. Some of you may not believe this but this level of scamming the system is rife and it has a knock on effect on all of us.

5 people have thanked this post
#25

unhappy out said:
my husband had a big row over it and he dos not want to fall out with them but after a lot of me pushing agrees that they would better someplace else but is not perpared to move them and cause "upset" to his Sister and Mother.



Your Husband really need to sort out his priorities.

You did the right thing, given the circumstances.

2 people have thanked this post
secman Registered User
#26

GJH Tatts said:
I think that is an incredibly sly and underhanded thing to do.

Why not just take your children out, rather than ratting on a family member like this.

When your husband finds out what you did to his sister, be prepared for the consequences....blood is thicker than water.


And you would still feel this way if God forbid a more serious accident happened and a child died ? If it was your child ? Some people are thicker than planks ! The childeren here are the priority not his sister who does not seem to give a flying fcuk.

OP you did the right thing.

Secman

2 people have thanked this post
GarIT Registered User
#27

Calhoun said:
If your husband doesnt agree well like Gar said divorce him, if he is more worried about keeping the peace than his families welfare he isnt worth anything.


I wouldn't jump on a divorce straight away but your children should be more important to you than anything, including being more important than your husband.

The safety of your children should be more important to your husband than his family. If he can't realise that maybe he isn't fit to be a father.

DublinWriter Registered User
#28

unhappy out said:
My sister in law is not trained, no insurance and not HSE reg.

Your children come first, end of story.

1 person has thanked this post
CrazyRabbit Registered User
#29

The only mistake 'unhappy out' made was allowing her kids to be minded by this sister-in-law in the first place. Relative or not, I would not have someone mind my kids if they were not up to the task.

And your husband should be ashamed of himself for putting the welfare of his kids second to his sisters employment status.

You've done the right thing.

15 people have thanked this post
Moonbeam Moderator
#30

Is she registered with childminding Ireland?
She needs to be she registered for that amount of kids,is she insured?
I would report her to the she and social services.

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