Starokan Registered User
#16

Take on board what the previous posters have said, Its good advice.

For the sake of your relationship do find somewhere else to drink or learn how to handle this. I have worked on and off in bars for years and its part and parcel of the job, male and female staff alike will get hit on by customers. In general staff don't mind , its fun, they laugh and joke about it , if it ever extends beyond that a word from management sorts it out.

If you start acting all possessive and jealous your relationship will be over very soon, trust your girlfriend and if you cant walk away for your own peace of mind. Anyone who has worked in bars will tell you there is nothing worse on a night that their partner sitting there glowering at them for doing their job and enjoying the banter with the customers. And believe me that's all it is to her , good natured banter.

Janet1986 Registered User
#17

17?

Thought 18yrs to work in a bar unless serving food.

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#18

^^ was just thinking the same thing

The Jammy dodger Registered User
#19

king kenny 7 said:
I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months.I really like her she is beautiful and one of the nicest people i have ever met.She works as a barmaid in the local pub where i drink but it's driving me crazy the way some of the men talk to her.I went for a few pints in their last week and some man nearly 40 asked me for her number she is only 17.

I told him to fu*k off basically and i had 4 or 5 pints tonight with a friend and he told me what somebody said to her earlier and it drove me mental I wish she worked somewhere else but i know it's not her fault but it's getting so bad now i don't even want to go near the pub.I really love her but can't stand the way that lads do be trying her when they have a few pints and it drives me crazy and i don't know how to handle it.I know it sound a stupid question but can somebody please offer some advice if you have been true this.I trust her and that that's not the problem because we get on so well she's like one of my best friends i can laugh with her about anything.I just can't handle the things lads do say to her


Sounds like the men are just winding you up and it seems to be working by the looks of it. They are just playin with ya.

ash23 Registered User
#20

Janet1986 said:
17?

Thought 18yrs to work in a bar unless serving food.


She might be waitressing or glass collecting as opposed to serving drink.

#21

You're easily wound up OP and the older guy played you
And it worked


She is young and attractive and works in a bar, it's going to happen in every county in Ireland and you need to learn to deal with it
She's with you anyway, she's going home with you so relax. People only wind you up as they know they'll get a reaction

Having you hanging around and swearing at her customers can get her in trouble with the owner so go find a new local and drink there instead

boneyarsebogman Registered User
#22

Wait until she starts clubbing with you, OP. You have to trust that she can handle the attention. You sound way too over protective and bordering on the controlling, if you even think of making her change her job. If you want to keep her, trust her.

Call Me Jimmy Registered User
#23

There's jealousy and then there's this. This doesn't even have a basis. What logical path of thought got you from him asking for her number to her dumping you and being with him? That's what I'd be concerned about because somewhere in that logic will be the idea that this guy is better than you, because thinking like that is the only way you could react the way you did.

You're in serious trouble with this relationship I'm afraid.

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king kenny 7 Registered User
#24

I'm sorry guys i came across wrong in my post.I know she's not my property and i don't go to the pub to keep an eye on her.I have always drank in the pub and have done so before she started working there.I have no problem trusting her as i know her all my life.

I know that she wouldn't cheat on me and she was the one who made the first move thank god i would off been afraid to as myself and my mate used to hang around with sister and didn't want to feel awkward.

I just don't get why people have to keep winding me up about her and this happens even when she's not in the pub.The lad that asked for her number should have more cop on.I wonder would he think it was funny if people started winding him up about his wife and all the times he has cheated on her.

MissFlitworth Registered User
#25

king kenny 7 said:

I just don't get why people have to keep winding me up about her and this happens even when she's not in the pub.


Probably because you get all blustery & defensive and they think it's hilarious. Stop reacting to them & they'll stop doing it

#26

MissFlitworth said:
Probably because you get all blustery & defensive and they think it's hilarious. Stop reacting to them & they'll stop doing it


Are you around the same age OP, you're sounding a bit immature, also being THAT in love after 2 months is a bit full on.

You are either the same age, and therefore too young to be handling drink, or your a few years older as you've drank there for ages. Either way, there's a lack of maturity going on here. If you're in your early 20s, maybe you should date someone a little older than 17.

I think you may have to reign yourself in, stop getting so frustrated with lads winding you up, they have seen which strings to pull with you and are having a right bungee jump off you.

If the older guy that asked for her number is a serial cheater then he's obviously a nasty piece of work and best avoided in any case, by you that is, your GF knows full well how to deal with such customers and I'm sure is learning a lot in her job. These are the things that at 17 will mature her and most likely result in outgrowing you if you can't move forward with her and allow her to do her job.

Big Bag of Chips Category Moderator
#27

"Older" men in pubs always get great entertainment out of taking the mick out of the young fellas. I'm sure if you think about it, there's probably loads of slagging going on, all the time.

But now that it's aimed at you, it's different!

As others have said, don't let them see you're annoyed... come up with a few good comebacks, just be careful not to get offensive or personal... ie don't think you should mention a cheating husband to his face in front of a packed bar! But if you have some good lines to show that you're not bothered, they'll either give up, or at least you won't be bothered.

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king kenny 7 Registered User
#28

I'm 19 by the way, the pub is in the country and i have been drinking in it since 16.There's only one other pub the but i always drink in the other one as it's got a pool table,dart board,jukebox and big screen for watching the matches.

I'm not the best at explaining this and i think you guys have took me up all wrong.I'm no treating her like i own her or anything like that she goes out with her sister or friends whenever she want's like i go out with my mates.

I can take a laugh and a joke but they just keep going on and on about it.The worst is if i'm at the bar and she's serving me or one of my friends they say something stupid out loud and make sexual remarks in front of her and the whole bar.That just makes me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.I'm quiet anyway but it's the lads i have the problem with not protecting her, i'm just not explaining it very well.

gerryk Registered User
#29

It seems that they get a kick out of your reaction more than anything else. Don't feed the trolls and they'll soon get bored.
One tactic I have heard mentioned here a couple of times to take the wind out of the sails of the blusterer is to wait a few seconds after the laughter or whatever has died down, and say something like "sorry, I wasn't paying attention... can you repeat that?"
These sort of comments are rarely as witty the second time around, and the attention will definitely make the funny guy feel a lot less funny.

4 people have thanked this post
#30

king kenny 7 said:
I'm 19 by the way, the pub is in the country and i have been drinking in it since 16.There's only one other pub the but i always drink in the other one as it's got a pool table,dart board,jukebox and big screen for watching the matches.

I'm not the best at explaining this and i think you guys have took me up all wrong.I'm no treating her like i own her or anything like that she goes out with her sister or friends whenever she want's like i go out with my mates.

I can take a laugh and a joke but they just keep going on and on about it.The worst is if i'm at the bar and she's serving me or one of my friends they say something stupid out loud and make sexual remarks in front of her and the whole bar.That just makes me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.I'm quiet anyway but it's the lads i have the problem with not protecting her, i'm just not explaining it very well.


I think it's hard to get across what you really mean in posts as they lack so much in tone and expression so apologies on my part if my earlier comments were wrong. You got a bit of a bashing here, but you handled it well as you had time to read and post a reply.

The same applies to the jibes in the pub, unfortunately, you can't pause time and come up with a good one liner to shut them up.

Now that you have explained further and perhaps are a little less annoyed than your first post, I see it's really just a case of everyone winding you up.

I was a barmaid in a local pub at 18, there will be banter and flirting(not a patch on what you'd have to put up with nowadays I'd say) but I can't stress enough how much everyone sees what they are doing to you.

Ignoring the comments is the best option, how about talking to your gf about tackling it together, obviously without you getting involved with other punters.

The main thing is, you get to take her home, come up with a few good one liners together and soon the focus will be on someone else.

Country pubs and country folk........they're a bit like that alright...

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