A few days ago my 10 yr old sister was at her friends house with some other girls age 9-10. Later that evening,she asked my mother if her periods were going to start soon.
As it happens me and my mother bought a sex ed book for her just a couple of weeks ago and we decided that whenver the time seemed right, one of us would go through everything with her,we were just waiting for the right time.
So my mother asked her what she new about peroids. She said that at her friends house they were watching simpsons and there was a scene where homer and marge were in bed or something. The girl who's house she was at said that they were having sex. Then the girls mother sat all of the girls down and went through the whole lot with them ... sex,periods,all the rest,showed them a book with pictures and all.
My mother wasnt too happey with this,she wanted to have the chat with her on her own,or else for me to do it,not a stranger (the woman isnt exactly a stranger, but still we dont no this girls family all that well,theyre friends from school.) She rang the woman to say that she didnt think it was appropriate but the woman got really defencive and said that all the girls were old enough to know the facts and we shouldnt hide it from them. Well I agree that this stuff shouldnt be hidden, but if I had children there that werent my own I'd just change subject and avoid the conversation cause I'd feel it wasnt my place.
Theres no harm done anywyas. We had a good talk with my sister to make sure she understood stuff and gave her the book. Shes mature enough to handel it anyways. But now my mother is thinking she shoudl try to get in touch with the other girls parents, in case they dont know what happened. We dont know the other parents. I'm not sure if thats a good idea or if we should just forget all about it now?
Are we just overreacting or was that woman wrong to talk with the girls about sex like that?
Hi well I would be really annoyed if someone took it upon themselves to explain the facts of life to any of my children so I dont think your mother is overreacting. Now my knee jerk reaction would be to inform the other parents as to what happened, but the person ye need to put first is your sister. You need to consider if any actions by you will have a negative impact on her. As ye dont know these other parents it is impossible to know how they may react. Its possible that they may be friends with the other mum and take her side or go to the other extreme and stop the friendship either of these scenarios could affect your sister.
If it had been a situation where any of the children had been put in danger or treated inappropriatly I wouldnt hesitate to inform their parents but in this case I think I would leave well alone.
Not a parent here but I have to say I don't blame your mother for being annoyed, neither yourself or your mother were hiding anything but the fact remains that for something that has such a long term impact on kids lives you like to have control over how its delivered.
What I mean by this is you want to handle it according to your parenting style and YOU want to be able to answer any questions or concerns.
Its an awkward one to handle because although I don't really blame your mother for calling the women I also understand why the women got defensive (basically just natural reaction as people don't often like to be called out on doing something they perhaps shouldn't have).
I'd leave things the way they are personally and not go contacting other parents
I understand why your mother is upset but I'm sure the other mother didn't intend on causing harm to the girls by answering their questions. I'm sure she didn't just dive into telling them random sex ed.
It is important that kids know about sex and periods and stuff, and some people feel that the earlier they know, the better. Maybe this woman felt it was a perfect opportunity to discuss it, and possibly easier for her daughter to hear it with the support of her friends.
She did overstep the mark a bit, but I doubt she caused harm to the girls. She may have even prompted other parents to discuss it with their girls who may nnot have discussed it otherwise.