Let's be realistic. Best we can hope for here is a few guys tucking it between their legs.
wasnt this locked -
anyway another bad joke -
guy walks home drunk with a sheep under his arm, get to his bed and wife goes "what are you doing?"
guy goes "this is the cow ive been sleeping with for the past 2 years"
Wife then says" thats a sheep"
Guy: "I was talking to the sheep!"
You been to Thailand haven't you...?
You on, you can admit it. We won't make fun of you.
...Well not really!
Just a bit!
Did you hear what William did?
Osama Bin Laden, Enda Kenny and Larry Murphy find themselves sitting together at a bar...
Can anyone knock a joke out of this?!?
Did someone just unlock this thread again?
For some reason, the story of Pandora's box comes to mind....
My fault. I though it was spam and reported it.
And rightly it was pointed out, it wasn't.
Anyway, back to the jokes...
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Back on topic please.
I had a profile on POF before but apparently a FAS safepass, a love of Bovril and a subscription to Irelands Own was too much to ask of any woman.
I implore ya.
Don't ignore me.
Back on topic.
Her box. The story goes that Pandora was given the box by the auld fella and told not to open it. But, being the stupid idiot taht she was, she went and opened it and let out all the disease, famine etc. into the world. She closed it in time so as to keep hope inside.
I'm guessing that's what you meant, not some inappropiate methaphor...
Appologies. Posted that while you were posting yours.
Me so sorrweee.
I'll behave. I know... miracles!