need to report someone to social services.

I have come into contact with a mother who is very strange.

She has two children, with the same man.

When she had the first one she was single, but then apparently got back together with the same man to have the second child. She is single since a year back, but talking about moving in with this man sometimes, which never happens. I have never met this man but he seems irresponsible and I know he is not paying maintenance. He also has another child with a different woman he is not living with.

All of this is no reason to report someone to social services, it is just background info.

The reason I want to report her is:

The children seem unhappy and underweight, they have little attachment to her, for example if they hurt themselves they do not come to her, but stays crying by themselves, and she does not seem to react when they cry. The little one (1 1/2) looks very unhappy, and the mother seem to favour the older child (3 years), the two of them are very skinny and the older one looks very tired though. The mother is very overweight around her stomack-area recently and I think she might be pregnant again.

I caught her having gone to the shop, leaving the two kids alone in the house today. She was gone for about ten minutes, the door was left unlocked and anyone could have walked in. When she came back she said she had left the kids in thehouse because she did not give a **** about them, like if she was joking.

She is so weird...

I am scared of reporting her, what if she is genuinely insane. If I report her anonymously she might not get investigated as then I will not be able to leave as much details as I need to for them to really understand what is going on without her figuring it is me that has reported her.

I do not really know this woman- but have been invited to see her house as there has been some random people replying to an ad I had put up about wanting to buy a house in the area where she lives.

I have been to her house twice, and talked to her on the phone a couple of times.

I will report her, the thing I am worried about is leaving my name or the details (about when she went to the shop, leaving the kids alone in the house, and what she said when she came back). Would it do any good if I just rang social services just saying the things that will not get her to be able to identify me, for example the children being treated roughly in general, and being somewhat underweight (from what I can see), and lacking appropiate attachment to her, or would the social services need all the details of what I know to be able to get to help the children?


You need to get in touch with the socail workers in your local health clinic and it's them you talk to and make a report. All reports under the child protection acts protect those who make them so she will not be told who it was that made the report. The socail workers will call to the house and see the conditions, interview the kids and the mother and there are lots of different services they can put in place for the sake of the kids.

Definition of Neglect
Neglect can be defined in terms of an omission, where the child suffers significant harm or impairment of development by being deprived of food, clothing, warmth, hygiene, intellectual stimulation, supervision and safety, attachment to and affection from adults, medical care.
Harm can be defined as the ill-treatment or the impairment of the health or development of a child. Whether it is significant is determined by his/her health and development as compared to that which could reasonably be expected of a child of similar age.
Neglect generally becomes apparent in different ways over a period of time rather than at one specific point. For instance, a child who suffers a series of minor injuries is not having his or her needs met for supervision and safety. A child whose ongoing failure to gain weight or whose height is significantly below average may be being deprived of adequate nutrition. A child who consistently misses school may be being deprived of intellectual stimulation. The threshold of significant harm is reached when the child's needs are neglected to the extent that his or her well-being and/or development are severely affected.


Where do you report a concern to?

If you have a concern that a child is being abused you should act on it. Contact the HSE Child Protection and Welfare Services in your county. Each HSE Local Health Office has a social worker on duty. Office hours are generally Monday to Friday 9-5pm. If a child is in danger outside these hours you should contact the Gardai.

How do you report a concern?
You can report a concern in writing, in person or by phone. It is possible to report a concern anonymously. Reporting a concern about a child is not easy. If you’re not sure about your concerns, you could discuss them with a social worker or public health nurse. This can help you decide whether you want to make a formal report.

Anyone can report a concern about a child. Under The Protection of Persons Reporting Child Abuse Act 1998, so long as you report what you believe is true and it is done in good faith you cannot be sued.


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im crying reading ur post. will you for gods sake go and report her. the poor little children, god knows what is happening to them. you have a responsibility to them to report her right now. and keep following up on this and do anything you can to save those children. and does it really matter if she finds out you reported her? i mean seriously this issue is way too serious to be thinking about how it will effect you. im horrified you are even hesitating.


Please read the rules for posting in this forum, you will find them in the charter.


first time ever im ashamed of the moderators on boards.


Repost of post which broke the forums rules.


common sense brigade banned for 1 week for failing to heed a mod warning,
breaching the forum rules on asking ops to pm and commenting on a mod action in thread.

curlzy Registered User

Hey OP,

Well from what you're saying it certainly sounds as if the children are at the very least being neglected if not outright abused. Now I know myself that it's very easy to turn a blind eye to something but in this case that is definately the wrong thing to do.

This is 2011, it's not like the 1970's when the church or government could rip your children off you with little or no cause. The social services won't just rip the kids off the mother, they'll go in and help her, they'll teach her how to look after her kids and support her. By reporting this to the social services you'll be helping the mother as well as the children. From what you're saying the mother can not look after the children, if you say nothing and something happens to the children you're going to feel very very very bad and upset for the rest of your life so please, do the right thing and let the professionals deal with this.

All you need to do is ring you local health centre or social welfare centre and tell them you wish to report someone for child neglect/abuse, they will let you do so anonymously. New guidelines were recently published in government departments on how this is handled and viewed so if you report it you can be sure that this case will be looked into and the family will get the support they need. Don't worry about her knowing it was you, she really really won't have a clue.

Just to reiterate: If you don't act on this and something happens you'll feel really really really bad for the rest of your life, don't take a gamble on this.

guest2401 Guest

Dear OP - if you find it easier to do so, go to your local garda station and voice your concerns there also. You never know, they may already be aware of the situation there.
Was in a similar quandry some time ago myself with a neighbour & her young daughter. Approached the police, who admitted they had a dossier on the family. They logged what I had to say. The Gardai will advise you the right channels from there on. Good luck

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