Regular poster, going unreg for this one.
I was on my OH's computer today doing some research for a project I am doing when I came across a porn site that he seemed to be going onto regularly. Now, usually I have no problem with porn at all, I find it a healthy part of our relationship as we usually view it together. The videos that I discovered however all involved men partaking in a variety of sexual acts.
We have a very open and honest relationship and I only assume that him keeping this from me means that he is ashamed? Embarrased by being turned on by members of the same sex? He's a very traditional man and although we have homosexual friends, he is never fully comfortable around them, much to all of our amusement.
I am not worried about it, simply wondering is it normal for straight men to view gay porn?
It's certainly normal for many men to be curious about what goes on in gay porn clips. If he watches it a lot, maybe you should ask him about it.
Yeah, pretty normal, out of curiosity and suchlike. There's a million and one reasons why he was looking it up before "he's secretly gay", up to and including sending it to mates as a prank or simply wondering about what it was.
I wouldn't worry - as long as everything is ok in your relationship, this shoudn't raise any flags.
I am male and I think that this is not normal at all. Well, not normal for a straight guy. I would honestly think that any male that looks up any sort of gay porn is a homosexual (or bi since his is your OH). If he is frequently looking at it, you should be very worried. As a male, I would not be one bit curious at all. I have never viewed gay porn.
I don't think you should necessarily be worried but if you are wondering about it and it's playing on your mind, why not just ask him about it? He hasn't deleted all history, it's not being done furtively so I'd just say you have noticed & ask him about it. Best of luck.
He could well be feeling insecure around your gay friends because he is very nervous about his own underlying feelings about being attracted to men. I think you are just going to have to ask him about it. It would be better you know now if that is indeed the case...
I agree with shellyboo. Its not a red flag per say.
But as his girlfriend you would feel a bit taken back by it. Anyone would. To be with someone and feel you know them in and out, then to find out they might be curious. It would take you back a bit. Its one of those things. Being of the subject nature (and a guy) you could forgive if he withheld anything But within saying that if you date someone, and seeing as how you both say you are open minded it is a bit weird for him to with hold it. But he is a guy after all. But thats a grey area.
Personally, i'd put money on that he is "curious" - weather or not he does anything is a different story. If you said he was on a gay site thats about contacting other gay people thats a different story. (then we are talking red flags)
Over the next while, and when you get a chance mention bisexuality or men being curious. He might open up. I think he should. There is nothing wrong with if you were curious at one point and hiding that, but if you are currently curious .. i dont think that should be hidden to your partner.
You say him and you have the same homosexual friends. If he told one of them before you then yeah, you, or anyone would be very annoyed. but as it stands right now. You found out a clue that suggest he might be curious (but lets be honest there is no might about it... its just about how curious he is now )
Plenty of straight girls look at lesbian porn, whats the difference?
Any straight girl I know who I've asked about porn have no problem admitting they have looked at lesbian porn, so I assume its fine for men too.
I've watched gay porn at my girlfriends request, being the modern man I am I have no issue with it, didnt do anything for me but she enjoyed it and thats all that mattered, but at no stage did i think "jaysus I must be gay now" while watching it, guys need to get over this idea that looking at another man in a sexual way must mean you're a closet gay
The combination of looking at a gay site regularly and being uncomfortable around gay friends would seem to me like he does have some attraction to men. Chances are he's still 90% straight or something along those lines, but if he's traditional as you say, he may just not have a way to cope with these feelings.
He's very lucky that you have no problem with it, but he may be unaware of that. He's probably still too scared or uncomfortable to talk about it and afraid of the consequences. I think ultimately you should broach the subject with him, or it will only get worse. Keeping a secret is not good for him.
I think if you were in bed talking and said something along the lines of this; "I was on your computer the other day and I couldn't help but notice something. I don't want you to freak out though, because I'm completely okay with it. I'd just like to talk about it, because I was surprised to find it; The gay porn you've been looking at.".
Nonsense, there is such a thing as curiosity you know.
No straight man would look up gay porn!
Curiosity my eye.
How do you know?