I replied to a thread over in Motors entitled "Suicide by car crash"
I'm not looking for advice as such, I'm really just curious to know if there are others on here that suffered the same type of injuries as me (soft tissue and nerve damage to back/neck/arms) and how have they coped since the injury?
Have you recovered fully and if so how long did it take?
Did you try any alternative therapies? What type of exercise were you able to do?
Maybe if I read some stories the actually had a happy outcome then I might feel a bit better about my situation.
Thanks for reading.
First of all- there isn't any answer to your query- how long it takes soft tissue and nerve damage to heal. It varies greatly from person to person. You say your accident was several years ago- there are even at this stage different therapies that you may find of use to use. The sports centre at UCD have a number of facilities available to the public- including a tank which can assist in muscle and nerve development (just to warn you- it does take time- depending on the injury it can take months or even years to recover to an acceptable level- and in some cases it may never do).
Its not surprising that you feel totally depressed about your experience- but there are options open to you.
It is good that you have been in contact with your mortgage lender- you really need to contact MABS however. You may qualify for a social welfare payment designed to assist people who have fallen in arrears with their mortgage- you should contact the local Community Welfare Officer for details of this.
You haven't indicated what the outcome of the any claim arising from the accident may be/have been. Its possible that an assessment at the time may be revisited if its obvious an unduly optimistic forecast of recovery was relied on.
I know it can be very difficult to motivate yourself to chase leads- and disheartening when they don't pan out- the way I look at things is- if you don't ask, you certainly won't get it, if you do ask you probably won't- but every now and then, someone will surprise you with a yes. Its a policy I use in everyday life- it drives my wife insane- occasionally you will get positive results though........
You do sound as though it would be helpful for you to sit down and talk with someone at the moment. If you feel you can't unburden your mind on your wife or a close friend- have you considered calling the Samaritans? They are very good at listening, totally non-judgemental- and you will be very surprised at how simply sharing with another person can make accepting and dealing things easier for you. When you bottle things up inside- even the smaller things can become massive stumbling blocks. They are there and would be only too happy to listen.
Feel free to vent or use this thread to take soundings off people.
try neuro muscular therapy.
Thanks so much for the reply. That's the first I've heard about the facilities in UCD. It would be a bit of a trek but I'll definitely look into it.
I actually spent a long time seeing a Psychologist and it did help but the cost was just too much, we covered it out of savings for as long as we could but I had to give it up unfortunately. Our life savings are gone now from covering the mortgage etc for so long since I've been out of action. We're not spend thrifts by any means, Lidl all the way for us!
My OH is in full time employment and even though the earnings aren't enough to keep us afloat they are too high (ever so slightly) to qualify for any kind of assistance. It's a bit sickening to be honest. I looked at my last P60 I received and I paid over €50k in tax the last year I worked. I'd love to know where it went! The CWO locally can't do anything for us.
You're right about if you don't ask you don't get. I'm blue in the face asking everyone and anyone for assistance of any kind. I'm a bit snookered.
I've tried lots of different things down the years (3+ years only but it feels like a lifetime)
Acupuncture, physio, nerve blocks, medication (taking Neurontin and Lexapro and Tylex and others at the moment, side effects are awful)
I'm willing to try anything and I mean ANYTHING.
As for any kind of future settlement, I've put it out of my mind. This was supposed to be sorted within 6 months of crash, over 3+ years down the line nothing has happened. I could get a settlement of €1 million and it won't make a difference to me if I lose my lovely home that we built just for us, to our specification, in such a lovely location. It's irreplaceable to us if I'm honest. That's the most upsetting thing on top of all the physical (and mental) injuries.
I'm feeling quite sorry for myself (and my OH) at the moment. I could cry but I won't.
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I can see from your posts that you are a very understanding and caring man, and your wife is a lucky lady to have you.
Hi there, I was wondering when the crash happened where you driving to work... cos if you were there is a way under the occupational injuries scheme that the full medical fees for counselling can be re-claimed from the Department of Social and Family Affairs? In the meantime, the only advice I can give is the psychological issues need to be addressed along with the pain - as your psychological state may well exacerbate the experience and perception of pain.... also if there's a court case - you may find that this will bring alot of the trauma back to the surface.... you may even try to avoid everything to do with taking the case.....
You are very right about your psychological state affecting your physical state. I've realised that since this all happened.
Every time I think about what could have happened, and of course what's going to happen when this eventually ends up in court, I just feel sick. I get so anxious and panicky that it is just overwhelming. It takes an actual physical effort to pull myself out of it. It's horrible knowing that my OH would be better off financially if I had died that day. The thought that I could still die in an "accident" if I put my mind to it is an almost daily occurence. But if I haven't done it by now then I reckon I never will. I'm not brave enough.
I understand how you are feeling - feelings of "what if" can be overwhelming and its important that you are provided with the opportunity to acknowledge what had happened and also get the help that you need. Can you talk to your GP or consultant - maybe, he/she could recommend a counsellor or psychologist specialized in trauma.... from experience its best to get the treatment early on - and cost for me is secondary to maintaining your psychological health.
I did attend a fantastic psychologist for a long time but the cost just got too much, we lliterally couldn't cover it any longer. The psychologist was so kind though and the cost of my last few sessions weren't charged for, something for which I will always be grateful.
Unfortunately my GP isn't the most understanding of people and is now of the opinion that I should just "suck it up" and get on with things. The GP told me that if I was that bothered about attending the psychologist I would have come up with the money from somewhere! Nearly €400 per month though was more important to go towards our mortgage at the time, to try to prove to the building society that we weren't just going to stop paying anything at all each month. It's this small payment that has so far kept them from issuing legal proceedings.
You can't get blood from a stone but my GP certainly thought it was possible!
I'd be so interested to hear from others in a similar position, even just so I know for a fact I'm not the only one this kind of thing has happened to.
Don't get me wrong, I know things could have turned out so much worse for me. The current situation still gets me down though.
I know meditation is perhaps the last thing on your mind right now but if you can quieten your stressed out mind even for an hour you will allow your body to relax and heal much quicker.
Take out an watch some funny movies. Recent mainstream scientific research with a group of women proves, at least with the control group, that the endorphin levels (the body's natural painkillers) increases with laugher. (Not sure why they did not use men )Not only that but the immune system is improved with laughter.
I know of a course running in Dublin next weekend. If you are interested PM me. It will be ok.
If you're talking about the survey in the Journal of Immunology- they canvassed equal numbers of both sexes, but over 92% of respondents were women- so they felt it would be statistically more accurate to only use the women respondents.
This is in keeping with most surveys for which there are voluntary responses- women are on average over 4 times more likely to respond than men.......
You'd never imagine I majored in applied statistics......
You are ‘on the ball‘. Has anyone carried out a survey on why men are so reticent about taking part.?
Its so much more difficult for men in the painful circumstances you find yourself in as men invest so much of who they are in what they ’do’ . When I left my professional office for the last time I unscrewed my name plaque title off my door! Shoved in a drawer somewhere now AND I am a woman.
Much of your pain will also be in your job loss. Its only when you acknowledge loss you can get over it healthily.
Hi Cancelled. Check out the Pain Management Programme in St. Vincent's Private Hospital. They'll help you address all issue's.
Try eliminate stress and reduce Alcohol consumption as it causes flare up's. I'm still suffering from chronic pain four years on and no one understand's how frustrating it is, cause drugs don't work!
Try stay active; swim, walk and join yoga. And the meditation is great, it will help with the state of mind and general well being.
Just to let you know , I was in a car accident about 5 years ago and suffered soft tissue and nerve damage, the pain was so intense that suicide was often a thought. However I have two children and couldnt do that to them. I have tried all the things u have mentioned without any significant success. Recently I tried arcoxia,on prescription, I think its new, this has made my life worth living again. I still wake most nights in pain but I can sleep. for at least four hours at a time now. previously this was often not possible. Life can be good again dont give up. Also a tens machine is useful and drug free. But the arrcoxia has made the most significant differance to my life.
I also suffer with Chronic Pain. I've been through the Pain Management Program in St Vincent's and found it very helpful.
Redd Rose mentioned the Pain Management Program in St Vincent's Private Hospital. I just want to say that this Program is run by the Public side of St Vincent's Hospital.
My advice would be for your GP to refer you to one of the Pain Consultants in St. Vincents or to the Pain Clinic which is Public. There you will be assessed, a definitive diagnosis will be given of what is causing your pain, a treatment plan put in place, which may include the Pain Management Program and as Redd Rose said they will help you to address all your issues, both physically and psychologically.
Once you know exactly the cause of your pain then you can be given the appropriate treatment. I'm not saying you will be totally pain free but it will go a long way to helping you control your pain and to come to terms with this condition.
Hi. I know this thread is quite old but I'm in the same situ now that you were in. It's a year and a half since my accident and I've improved little since. I attend physio weekly, have difficultly sleeping due to pain, I cannot walk for more than 5 minutes and feel my partner is like a carer to me at this stage. All injuries are soft tissue and nerves - neck, shoulders, arms, wrists, lower back and more recently due to how I limped with my back I've problems with my feet and knees. I've attended a pain clinic for some time however nothing worked for more than 1-2 weeks and one treatment left me worse off, they now say there is nothing more they can do. I'm unable to take anti inflamatries due to past kidney problems so am being treated with codeine, tramadol, Lyrica and antidepressants (for pain and now depression) did you get any better? Did you find anything that worked? I can only work part time and my partner was in construction do long term unemployed, we even got to a stage where we had to get help from a charity financially when neither of us could work (we have three young children).
As I type I'm using a tens machine and a shiatsu massage machine just to watch tv! I've good weeks and bad weeks but the cold weather makes everything so much worse and can actually feel myself seize up. I've only managed to go out socialising a handful of times since and all take a week or more to recover from.
I will get my costs back once my case is dealt with however I have to pay for them myself until then and just cannot afford to. I've invested in some health insurance however I don't know what I can use it for that I haven't tried. I live in chronic pain, my amazing family also are suffering and I would welcome any suggestions. If you said stand on my head I'd try! I'd love if you have any advice, encouragement or hope as at this stage I'm resigning myself to the fact that this is my life from now and I need to just deal with it. And I will if I have to. But would love just to hear more of your story. I'm suck of people telling me what to do when they just don't understand what it's like to live with this like you or I.