• Can¬ít get enough of them, nothing like a good pun-chline (71.93%)
  • Hate them, they should be ex-pun-ged from society (5.34%)
  • In France un oeuf is enough (22.74%)
Beanstalk Registered User
#1

Ok folks, time to start a thread dedicated to puns only. Please vote your opinions on the lowest of the low in the world of humour!

Please feel free to place all your devious punnery in here with your replies. You can create puns arising from anything and everthing from funny stories, jokes, current affairs/news, pictures, other user's comments and even other usernames.

Feel free to post new topics anytime, especially if a particular topic has dried up or dying and the thread is in dire need of some punicillin.....

p.s. Groan-inducing posts are encouraged, and if you're unsure whether to post a particularly dodgy pun, just ask yourself this: 'Do you feel lucky punk? well, do ya?'

1 person has thanked this post
#2

that grand central pub in o connell street is, er, grand and central

AlmightyCushion Moderator
#3

A thread dedicated to puns? This is punbelievable.

1 person has thanked this post
Beanstalk Registered User
#4

admiralofthefleet said:
that grand central pub in o connell street is, er, grand and central


O'Connell street eh? must check that place, anywhere i can do some reading on good pubs in Dublin? any good books published?

(Yes i know that was poor, i'll have to raise the bar a little from now on......)

Hagar User 7841
#5

I once entered 10 puns in a pun competition thinking a least one of the 10 would win something.
Unfortunately no pun in ten did.

18 people have thanked this post
el_barty Registered User
#6

This thread reminds me of a German dinner party... in that the wurst is yet to come!

2 people have thanked this post
Naos Registered User
#7

el_barty said:
This thread reminds me of a German dinner party... in that the wurst is yet to come!


Aw beanstalk, I think you just got pun3d!!

Oliverdog Registered User
#8

You walrus hurt the one you love.

1 person has thanked this post
randylonghorn Moderator
#9

An old groaner pour encourager les autres ...


Bill had been getting progressively more bald at a very young age, and it was depressing him quite a bit. Eventually, he decided to get a wig, and the following evening he came into the pub looking 10 years younger, with a full head of jet black hair. The locals admired his new look, and complimented him on how realistic it looked.

Eventually, Joe asked him for a closer look, and, though slightly embarrassed, he slipped the wig off and handed it over. However, as soon as Joe took the wig, he began to complain about everything: the weather, his job, the quality of the pint, anything and everything you could think of. Puzzled by this irresistable urge to moan, he handed the wig to Tom to give back to Bill, and suddenly his normal good humour re-asserted itself.

Tom, however, even in the few seconds he had the wig in his hands, had already announced to the pub that his wife was useless: couldn't cook, and was ferociously dirty around the house, but not, unfortunately, when she got to bed. Again, as soon as he had handed the wig back to Bill, the torrent of complaints dried up, and he was his old cheerful self again.

The three friends, completely confused and puzzled, were starting to discuss what on earth had happened, when the barman leant across the counter towards them, and told them not to worry about it.

"Why?" they asked.

"Ah, 'tis perfectly natural, lads!" he said. "Sure doesn't everybody complain when they have Bill's toupee?"

1 person has thanked this post
randylonghorn Moderator
#10

Oliverdog said:
You walrus hurt the one you love.


That doesn't floe very easily ...

#11

This thread is very punny!

Beanstalk Registered User
#12

Oliverdog said:
You walrus hurt the one you love.


Heh, that one gets my seal of approval....

1 person has thanked this post
Rolotomasee Registered User
#13

You all deserve to be punished!

3 people have thanked this post
Hagar User 7841
#14

The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day's competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn't take any more and kicked them out.

The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests....instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk responded, "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

3 people have thanked this post
rocky25 Registered User
#15

It is difficult to escape being a peasant because resistance is feudal

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