Firstly this is not a troll.

Myself and my GF have been together for 6 years. We have a 2 houses, rent one out and live in the other with her friend. Myself and my GF are 28 and her friend is 25. My GF and her friend have known each other since they were about ten.

Basically for about 2 years or so my GF's sex drive has pretty much gone on holidays and not come back. I've got through this for the first year by jacking off to my extensive collection of porn. A year ago her friend moved up from another city. I have met her a few times and got on well with her.

My GF is very slim and toned where as her friend is busty. Anyway i started to notice that when i was jacking off i was starting to fantasise about her friend. Her friend doesnt wear a whole lot around the house either. We were all out about a month ago and we got a taxi home, I as usual had a massive beer horn knowing that it wasnt going to go down for a while so i said i'd stay up and watch some TV rather than pester my GF for sex (i have drunkenly begged, very sad i know) The friend said she stay up and have some wine. She asked could she use my laptop to check her bebo so i said go ahead, She went to put on some music, went into "my documents" found a rake load of porn. Most of it had girls with similar bodies to her (The laptop faces me so i couldnt see the screen) Anyway she asks me this "do you like my tits?" Laughlingly i said "yeah course i do" She made a remark which made me run over to the laptop to see she was having a good look though my porn.

Feeling really embarrased i stood there beer in my hand she told me not to worry as she thought i would be weird if i didnt look at porn. That relaxed the atmosphere back down.
We got chatting and she said my GF had told her that we havent had sex in nearly 2 years and how my GF has no desire at all. My GF's friend was saying its been nearly a year since she had sex and she really needs to be "serviced". We got into some pretty dirty conversation but i decided retreat was the best thing to do so i went to bed.

I was pretty weirded out after that but pretty turned on by what she had told me during our conversation (one of the things is that she uses her vibrator quite a lot even when myself and my GF are in the house, lets just say that made me stant to attention!) A few days after that my GF was off playing tennis and it was just myself and the friend, she said she was going to bed about 8pm a few mins later i sent her a cheeky txt saying "i know what your really doing" She replied back saying "why dont you come up and find out..." So i went upstairs to her room opened the door and she was lying naked apart from a bra with her dildo. Gobsmacked and turned on are undestatements. Anyway i stood there getting a bulge in my trousers and she said " look just f88k me s******(my GF) says that its ok because she's not giving it to you" She even showed me the txt from my GF dated for about a week and a half before we went out on that night a few days before.

My c88k took over and i went for it, we spent about 2 hours going at it. My GF came home and in bed that night she told me that the friend had said we slept together and that she is fine with it aslong as it doesnt happen while she is in the house. Frankly i am a bit weirded out. She's basically giving with cate blance to go and screw her friend and beleive me her friend is eager to cash the cheque as even when my GF goes to the shop the friend wants it. I admit its good to actually be having again but i can't help but feel very weird about it.

The reasons my GF says its ok is that
1)she loves me & I love her
2)She says she knows I would never leave her (but what if i develop feelings for the friend).
3)This way she knows i'm not going off shagging random people
4) She doesnt know how long she doesnt want sex for and its not fair on me, shagging the friend is my "reward" for being so patient.

Since this I've had sex with the friend about 10 times and as i said above its good to get some action. We have sex i go downstairs or for a shower or whatever and she'll come down later and have a cup of tea and we'll watch tv or something. She has initiated all of these encounters.

I know this is odd but tbh i'm pretty confused, I dont want to stay with my GF if she never wants to have sex (I have suggest she see a counsellor but she refuses) She's also not getting it anywhere else.

Any advice?


Any advice?

Eh ...no

muboop1 Registered User

if she was to turn around now and say u can no-longer shag my friend...
would you be angry?
would you stay with ur gf regardless of if u had nobody providing for you?
if the ans to any of these is no... then you need a big convo with her...
would you be ok if she done it with your mate? as in will she expect the same treatment in future?


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MagicMarker Banned

I think for the sake of your girlfriend you need to STOP this immediately. Instead of finding your hole elsewhere you should be proactively trying to work through the problems your girlfriend has with intimacy between the two of you. Has she given reasons to why she doesn't want sex?

But no matter what your GF says to you, she could not possibly be completely happy with the fact that you're shagging her friend. If she is, then there is no future between the two of you.

Slutmonkey57b Registered User

On topic: You lucky git.
Even more on topic: The only one who can really decide whether this is a problem is your GF. You should probably tell her that the prospect of no sex with her probably means the two of you will split up. Either way she's opened up a potentially big can of worms for herself.


Ok ,excuse my previous cynical post but why do i get the impression the person is trolling when reading some of these posts in personnel ? .OP says he is not and OK, fair enough and good luck to you ,but you cant help but somtimes think this is just another erotic (and nice btw ) fantasy of sombodys , imo

lolli Registered User

You have to put a stop to this now, it will the ruination of your relationship. You will fall for her or she will fall for you. Either way this will ruin your relationship with your girlfriend.

Theres no point in sleeping with her friend when you love your girlfriend. You and your girlfriend need to sit down and work out whats wrong.

Talliesin Banned

Situations like that which your GF is suggesting can work. However they aren't just 50% more complicated because there's 50% more people, but 400% more people because there's 400% times as many relationships (you and your GF, you and your GF's friend, your GF and her friend, and how the three of you are when you are all together).

From what it says above it sounds like it might possibly work as far as you and your GF's friend go, and for your GF and her friend, but not for you and your GF because whatever else goes on, you aren't getting what you want from your gf.

And in the meantime, this will act as a distraction from all three of you.

If you and your GF where in a good place (whether she became more like what you need, or you became happier with what she is) then something like this - if you still saw a need for it - could work (I know of poly groups who've been happy together for decades), but otherwise it's just going to make what's bad already worse.

OveryoDD Guest

are you sure your GF ok with it ? or is she shocked and gone into an emotional spasm where shes seeing how far you take it and when you get your senses back and stop.
I assume you and your gf are very serious since you have houses together,
i feel youve really messed and crippled your relationship, your friends GF will have to move out.

WhiteWashMan Registered User

MagicMarker said:
the problems your girlfriend has with intimacy between the two of you. Has she given reasons to why she doesn't want sex?

theres no magic panacea for curing a low sex drive. there may be so many physical and emotional issues that cause it. its not like you just apply an ointment and magically you want to shag like a rabbit all night.

you can either live with it, or you can make alternative arrangements, or you can get another girlfriend.

the alternative arrangements at the moment sound good to me
but as suggested, its what happens afterwards. id be interested in hearing what the OPS emotions, and the other players emotional relationships are like in a months time.
to be honest, if i was in your situation, and i was given the option, id have to go with completely random annonymous sex rather than with someone known.
if its for a purely phycisal reason, and i can understand that, then make it about the physcial aspect. there is simply no need to involve someone whom you already have an emotional connection to.

dame Registered User

WhiteWashMan said:
there is simply no need to involve someone whom you already have an emotional connection to.

Agreed. How are you going to act when all three of you sit down to watch telly? Sit there between the two or you and your girlfriend snuggled up on one side of the room with the friend out in the cold? It's just not going to work in my opinion. At least one person, if not all three of you, will end up getting hurt.

m83 Registered User

Heineken don't do personal issues but if they did they'd probably be the best personal issues in the world

but seriously... this has to stop immediately before you develop an emotional attachment for eachother. It's never just sex you know.

ck66 Registered User

to be honest you need to stop what your doing. imo your girlfriend has her reasons for loosing her sex drive whether for medical or psychological reasons. you should be there to support her and talk things through but definintely not go off shgging her friend. your girlfriend obviously feels bad about it saying that she doesnt ming you sleeping with her friend but im sure its crushing her inside.

i went through something similar a few years back and to be honest i would of nearly gone as far to say the same to my boyfriend, that i didnt mind him sleeping with someone else because i felt so bad for him. but it would have killed me inside. she obviously loves you and wants to keep you happy but seriusly you need to show her some respect. my boyfriend and myself got through it and were still together over 7 years and engaged.

Chardee MacDennis Registered User

ck66 said:
imo your girlfriend has her reasons for loosing her sex drive whether for medical or psychological reasons. you should be there to support her and talk things through but definintely not go off shgging her friend.

in fairness it has been two years and anything that hasn't been dealt with at this stage probably wont be in the future. It's not as if it's been 2 months or a year.

On the other hand if this ends well I would be very surprised.

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