Caesar_Bojangle Registered User

Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax.

I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

Piste Registered User

Bart to Milhouse: 'Ewwwwwww you kissed a girl! That is soooooo Gay!'

[Stone flies through Mr. Burns' office window]
Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.

Principal Skinner: I have caught word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it.

Well the simpsons are on now so I'll be back with some more quotes.

Hello Kitty Registered User

To many to choose from:

Homer: "Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

DRakE Registered User

Colonel Hap Hapablap: Did somoebody say.. boxkites?

Bart: No!

Martin: "The common boxkite was orignally used as a means of drying wet string"

cashback Registered User

Kent Brockman: Tonight, on Eyewitness News: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Man: Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?
Kent: No, uh, she won an Oscar, and he's a Congressman.
Man: Good night! [turns over and dies]

Sherifu Registered User

Joe Banks... 82 years young has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery... the ducks... were gone! Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think, that joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is just no room in this modern world, for an old man... and... his ducks...

cashback Registered User

another good one:

Homer: I learned this from a movie I saw about a bus that has to SPEED around the city, keeping its SPEED above 50, and if its SPEED drops, it would explode. I think it was called: "The Bus That Couldn't Stop."

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Aava Registered User

"Suspect is driving a... car, of some sort."

PeadarofAodh Registered User

I Like-a to chew!!

I wonder how many times I've used this phrase randomly for the past year...

lazernuts Registered User

Bart: I'm going to get the dog back!
Homer: [off-camera, distant] The good dog or the bad dog?
Bart: The bad dog.
Homer: Ah good.

Hugh Hefner Registered User

"Bah! I deride your truth handeling abilities!!" - Sidshow Bob.

That quote has a lot of history with me.

Nasty_Girl Registered User

Booberella about Mr Burns when he took over the media
"His heart is as big as my BOOOOBS!"
Kent Brockman: "Well we'll have to agree to ...agree on this one then"
Booberella : ".....BOOOOOOOOBS!"

I thought it was funny
or this by kent brockman
"We're coming to you live and to prove we're live.. P*NIS!!"

Piste Registered User

Kent Brockman: And I for one welcome our new ant overlords and remind them that as a member of the media I would be an invalubale source for rounding up people to work in their underground sugar caves

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Seraphina Registered User

the following tale of alien encounter is true
by which i mean, false.
they're all lies, but they're entertaining lies,
and isn't that, in the end, the real truth?
the answer, is no.

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mayordenis Moderator

"i got it from my film with Rob Schnieder 'my baby's a fat ugly man" - wolfcastle

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