On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story? When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
Q. How do you confuse a <insert county here>man?
What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Be alert, your country needs more lerts
I went bob sleighing the other day and killed 20 bobs
you must be jelly................ cos jam just dont shake like that
tot tot tot !
What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?
I was asked today whether U2 or Coldplay were the best live band in the world. It was a tough decision but U2 have The Edge.
sorry for that, lads
Doctor Doctor, I think I keep thinking I'm a moth
But I'm a dentist!
Yeah, I know, but... your light was on...
Two sausages are in a frying pan.
One sausage says to the other 'Christ its hot in here,eh?'
The second one says 'Holy f*ck!! A talking sausage!!!!'
A Nose walks into a bar and asked for a large beer
The barman says sorry I can't serve you ........youre out of your face !
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a nobel prize?
He was outstanding in his field