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Friends · 28-02-2012, 03:57

Right.
Haven't slept a wink, am going through the emotions at the moment, happy,sad,paranoid etc..
Long story short, have been working part time in a shop for nearly 2 years now, work with a couple of really nice people, one in particular who I have always had great fun and just seem to get on so well with.
Anyway she's a few years older than me but I find her extremely attractive. She's married 3 years, to who always seems like a nice bloke, but all I ever hear from my other workmates is the way he treats her, not good things atall apparently.. I've always put it aside as hearsay and gossip.
It's always been a silly fantasy of mine, being with her, but never once imagined it would be a reality. I'm shy enough and I tend to fend off flirtatious banter in work, just a case of not knowing what to say or trying to come across as a nice guy

! I know she's fond me, in a kind of, 'if only i was 5 years younger way', but it'd all been harmless kinda stuff till today.(I'm 21, she's 26)
So closing up for the day, and we're just having a laugh and whatever happened, she kissed me, I responded(fcuk that, WE kissed), but 10, maybe 15 seconds later, I just said "This isn't fair" and went about the closing duties and left without saying anything or even looking at her.
I'm in work tomorrow, and really feel so awkward. Fact is, the kiss was amazing, felt a tingling I've never felt before, and I'm a year out of a 2 year relationship, and it was just a bloody kiss!
But a) She has a husband who I've never had any reason to dislike, bar some gossiping from colleagues which I tend to ignore.
b) I feel like just saying sorry when I can, but I'll be fuming and very confused if she doesn't apologise aswell, I'm just freaking out here basically.

I've no intention of getting involved with her, It's not fair on her husband or on her. If there's stuff going on in her marriage, I can't be the one she can get a release from.

How should I approach this best? All I want to do is get the head down and work, but I just cringe every second I think of going into work and seeing her.

ash23 · 28-02-2012, 09:25

You shouldn't apologise, nor should she (other than to her husband).

If she approaches you hear her out but tell her that you aren't interested in anything with her because she is married and leave it at that.
Avoid being alone with her if possible.
She's married and yeah, it might have been a great kiss but there's plenty of single available women you can have that connection with.

Elmer Blooker · 28-02-2012, 10:07

You should really see this situation for what it is. When you get that bit older like me you realize that women constantly needed to be reminded that they are attractive and you just happen to be the one to give her the attention she needs. But beware, if you ignore her she may come on strong, women find rejection difficult to deal with even though it's a fact of life for men.

Android 666 · 28-02-2012, 11:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer Blooker

You should really see this situation for what it is. When you get that bit older like me you realize that women constantly needed to be reminded that they are attractive and you just happen to be the one to give her the attention she needs. But beware, if you ignore her she may come on strong, women find rejection difficult to deal with even though it's a fact of life for men.

Yes, I've found that true of every woman I ever met in the world…

Maple · 28-02-2012, 13:23

Less of the sweeping generalisations about women please. Please do not turn this thread into a gender rant about your perceived thoughts on female behaviour. Any further comments like that and bans will be handed out.

Maple

KKkitty · 28-02-2012, 13:44

Call me old fashioned but she is married and shouldn't be looking at other men let alone kissing them. She's crossed a line that should never be crossed and she's older than you so she should know better. If she has problems in her marriage she should sort them out and leave you out of it. Working with her is going to make it hard to avoid her but tell her straight out it was a once off and to leave any relationship work related. You're young so you will find someone who's not attached.

Friends · 28-02-2012, 14:06

thanks for the replies, all what I expected pretty much, just needed it coming from someone else maybe!
Just on my break now.
Well had a little chat today, she apologised, said she's very fond of me though. I told her she can't be saying that, and she just said herself and her husband have accepted that their marriage is over, over a month ago apparently, and that he's already living with his parents. I Said I'm sorry to hear that but that I just want to put the head down for the next few months in work, and stupidly said "we'll see what happens then".
So seems to be resolved, not feeling that awkward now, don't feel as bad as I did about the husband, but what a few days!
Looking forward to having a few beers friday night and forgetting about it all.

**bluewolf** · 28-02-2012, 14:08

glad to hear this is resolved OP, locking now

28-02-2012, 03:57	#1
scaredandparanoid Guest Posts: n/a Adverts \| Friends	Kiss in work Right. Haven't slept a wink, am going through the emotions at the moment, happy,sad,paranoid etc.. Long story short, have been working part time in a shop for nearly 2 years now, work with a couple of really nice people, one in particular who I have always had great fun and just seem to get on so well with. Anyway she's a few years older than me but I find her extremely attractive. She's married 3 years, to who always seems like a nice bloke, but all I ever hear from my other workmates is the way he treats her, not good things atall apparently.. I've always put it aside as hearsay and gossip. It's always been a silly fantasy of mine, being with her, but never once imagined it would be a reality. I'm shy enough and I tend to fend off flirtatious banter in work, just a case of not knowing what to say or trying to come across as a nice guy ! I know she's fond me, in a kind of, 'if only i was 5 years younger way', but it'd all been harmless kinda stuff till today.(I'm 21, she's 26) So closing up for the day, and we're just having a laugh and whatever happened, she kissed me, I responded(fcuk that, WE kissed), but 10, maybe 15 seconds later, I just said "This isn't fair" and went about the closing duties and left without saying anything or even looking at her. I'm in work tomorrow, and really feel so awkward. Fact is, the kiss was amazing, felt a tingling I've never felt before, and I'm a year out of a 2 year relationship, and it was just a bloody kiss! But a) She has a husband who I've never had any reason to dislike, bar some gossiping from colleagues which I tend to ignore. b) I feel like just saying sorry when I can, but I'll be fuming and very confused if she doesn't apologise aswell, I'm just freaking out here basically. I've no intention of getting involved with her, It's not fair on her husband or on her. If there's stuff going on in her marriage, I can't be the one she can get a release from. How should I approach this best? All I want to do is get the head down and work, but I just cringe every second I think of going into work and seeing her.

28-02-2012, 13:23	#5
Maple Hosted Moderator Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 15,624 Adverts \| Friends HMod: RC	Less of the sweeping generalisations about women please. Please do not turn this thread into a gender rant about your perceived thoughts on female behaviour. Any further comments like that and bans will be handed out. Maple Last edited by Maple; 28-02-2012 at 13:28.

28-02-2012, 09:25	#2
ash23 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,179 Adverts \| Friends	You shouldn't apologise, nor should she (other than to her husband). If she approaches you hear her out but tell her that you aren't interested in anything with her because she is married and leave it at that. Avoid being alone with her if possible. She's married and yeah, it might have been a great kiss but there's plenty of single available women you can have that connection with.

28-02-2012, 10:07	#3
Elmer Blooker Registered User Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Dublin 9 Posts: 1,230 Adverts \| Friends	You should really see this situation for what it is. When you get that bit older like me you realize that women constantly needed to be reminded that they are attractive and you just happen to be the one to give her the attention she needs. But beware, if you ignore her she may come on strong, women find rejection difficult to deal with even though it's a fact of life for men.

28-02-2012, 13:44	#6
KKkitty Registered User Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: The back of beyonds Posts: 2,213 Adverts \| Friends	Call me old fashioned but she is married and shouldn't be looking at other men let alone kissing them. She's crossed a line that should never be crossed and she's older than you so she should know better. If she has problems in her marriage she should sort them out and leave you out of it. Working with her is going to make it hard to avoid her but tell her straight out it was a once off and to leave any relationship work related. You're young so you will find someone who's not attached.

28-02-2012, 14:06	#7
scaredandparanoid Guest Posts: n/a Adverts \| Friends	thanks for the replies, all what I expected pretty much, just needed it coming from someone else maybe! Just on my break now. Well had a little chat today, she apologised, said she's very fond of me though. I told her she can't be saying that, and she just said herself and her husband have accepted that their marriage is over, over a month ago apparently, and that he's already living with his parents. I Said I'm sorry to hear that but that I just want to put the head down for the next few months in work, and stupidly said "we'll see what happens then". So seems to be resolved, not feeling that awkward now, don't feel as bad as I did about the husband, but what a few days! Looking forward to having a few beers friday night and forgetting about it all.

28-02-2012, 14:08	#8
bluewolf Moderator Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 41,226 Adverts \| Friends Mod: Libertaire, Personal Issues, Politics, Separation and Divorce	glad to hear this is resolved OP, locking now