Boards.ie uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Click here to find out more x
Post Reply  
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
27-01-2003, 13:16   #1
Mad_Patrick
Registered User
 
Mad_Patrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Kerry
Posts: 138
How to be the "Funny Guy" in the office

Warning: A bit rude, so don't read it if your going to cry about it


10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you were just kidding and tell them that they are all a bunch of f ucking queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the meeting, put one finger in the air and make a noise like you are hocking up a loogie.Then spit the custard into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say, "Beat that."

7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker." Then piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good ass f ucking.

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand down your pants.

5. Answer every question asked to you with "F uck if I know" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even correspond to their actual race.

4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them all sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hands.

3. Sh!t on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it is the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is covered in sh!t, laugh and point at them and call them a f ucking asshole.

2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell, "It won't stop! Help me!" Then when it stops, look down and say "Oh."

1. Ask to borrow someones pen. Bring it into the bathroom and stick it in your ass. Take it back to the person you borrowed from and ask them to smell it. When they tell you that it smells bad, tell them, "It should. I had it in my ass."
Mad_Patrick is offline  
Advertisement
27-01-2003, 13:42   #2
Mr E
Administrator
 
Mr E's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 28,895
They're rude alright, but don't worry about it - people will more likely complain about the fact that they just aren't funny at all.
Mr E is offline  
27-01-2003, 13:49   #3
Mad_Patrick
Registered User
 
Mad_Patrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Kerry
Posts: 138
Is mise muppet mór.

Last edited by Shiminay; 28-01-2003 at 10:04.
Mad_Patrick is offline  
27-01-2003, 14:21   #4
Big Chief
Stop Avatar Theft !!
 
Big Chief's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 3,737
Quote:
Originally posted by TmB
people will more likely complain about the fact that they just aren't funny at all.
agreed...


how will that make you be the "funny guy" btw?

shoulda been worded -

How to be the "Guy gettin sacked" in the office


even then it would still be a load of bollocks
Big Chief is offline  
27-01-2003, 14:35   #5
Carbiens
Registered User
 
Carbiens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Q3DM6
Posts: 577
tumbleweed
Carbiens is offline  
Advertisement
27-01-2003, 14:35   #6
Stark
Registered User
 
Stark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 16,363
Send a message via AIM to Stark
should be how to get committed to a "home" where they make you wear a strait-jacket and a nappy all day long.
Stark is offline  
27-01-2003, 17:27   #7
catspring
Registered User
 
catspring's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: donegal
Posts: 371
Re: How to be the "Funny Guy" in the office

Quote:
Originally posted by Mad_Patrick


2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell, "It won't stop! Help me!" Then when it stops, look down and say "Oh."

i'm assuming you run backwards for this one coz otherwise that's gonna be fairly messy.
i gotta agree with my fellow "post a reply"ers, that they are, indeed, not funny
catspring is offline  
27-01-2003, 17:35   #8
strat
 
strat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: yore ma's house
Posts: 2,869
HMod: Bangbus
man there f ucking classic

ohh and mad patrick you are a f cucking asshole gay etc





*
strat is offline  
27-01-2003, 17:56   #9
LoLth
Verified Reprehensible
 
LoLth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: little boxes.
Posts: 8,485
emmm,

Main Entry: 1fun·ny
Pronunciation: 'f&-nE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): fun·ni·er; -est
Date: 1756
1 a : affording light mirth and laughter : AMUSING b : seeking or intended to amuse : FACETIOUS
2 : differing from the ordinary in a suspicious, perplexing, quaint, or eccentric way : PECULIAR -- often used as a sentence modifier <funny, things didn't turn out the way we planned>
3 : involving trickery or deception <told his prisoner not to try anything funny>


One entry found for idiotic.


Main Entry: id·i·ot·ic
Pronunciation: "i-dE-'ä-tik
Variant(s): also id·i·ot·i·cal /-'ä-ti-k&l/
Function: adjective
Date: 1713
1 : characterized by idiocy
2 : showing complete lack of thought or common sense : FOOLISH



guess which the first post falls under......

sorry, but that's just not humour. It's crap. You type that while drunk?
LoLth is offline  
Advertisement
27-01-2003, 17:56   #10
DapperGent
Messianic
 
DapperGent's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 4,799
Jesus I though they were hilarious.

Thought their hilarity doesn't lessen Mad_Patrick's shítheadry.

The shíthead.
DapperGent is offline  
28-01-2003, 14:34   #11
The_Scary_Man
Registered User
 
The_Scary_Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Corcaigh, Eire
Posts: 615
I think that is fvcking brilliant, the funniest thing I've seen in ages.

How any of you can visualise those situations and not laugh is beyond me.
The_Scary_Man is offline  
28-01-2003, 15:54   #12
Stephen
louis walsh has pie!
 
Stephen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Idaho (GMT-7)
Posts: 18,340
My signature says it all
Stephen is offline  
28-01-2003, 15:56   #13
Hobart
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,721
Quote:
Originally posted by DapperGent
Thought their hilarity doesn't lessen Mad_Patrick's shítheadry.
The shíthead.
Now that's funny!
Hobart is offline  
28-01-2003, 16:06   #14
Mad_Patrick
Registered User
 
Mad_Patrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Kerry
Posts: 138
Thank you the_scary_man and the dapper gent for having a sense of humour, except the sh!thead part, that kinda hurt
Mad_Patrick is offline  
28-01-2003, 16:13   #15
Dustaz
W 26 D 12 - Arsena
 
Dustaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Duberlin towen
Posts: 8,906
This is a purile and unfunny version of a few much funnier emails from times of yore.

If you find this stuff funny.....
Sigh
Dustaz is offline  
Post Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Remove Text Formatting
Bold
Italic
Underline

Insert Image
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
 
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Please sign up or log in to join the discussion

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Share Tweet