[dearg lady]

Sooo, just wondering how people deal with snide comments made within a group situation. There's a handful of people I know who make such comments, and they think they're just hilarious. I find it pretty annoying and wouldn't generally choose to spend time in the company of someone who says stuff like this, but sometimes I have to! I usually respond in a very lighthearted way, cos I wouldn't like them to know they've annoyed me. Is there a better way to deal with it?

[jimbobaloobob]

Projection of their own weaknesses.

Listen to thunder and dodge the lightning

[Jimmy Iovine]

Ignoring them is probably the best option. I know it's clichéd but it'll really get them seriously worked up. After a while they'll either stop or completely blow the fuse. Either way you win.

If they keep persisting with it then make sure to nip it in the bud. The last thing you want to happen is for people to think you're a walkover. Give it a week or two (depending on how often you meet them).

Don't try and respond to them in a slagging match. If you're going for the light-hearted approach you'll make it worse imo.

[Ella]

I'd usually pick someone up on it. Have a quiet word and if that doesn't work then just ignore them. They'll soon get bored of not getting a reaction.

[Vicar in a tutu]

Smirk at them, it'll let them know you find them a bit simple really, They'll feel too awkward to do it after a while

[baby and crumble]

I find looking at them for a few seconds longer than normal after they say something usually gets them flustered. Especially if you then just slightly smile and look away without engaging them verbally. Pisses people off no end.

[dearg lady]

Thanks for the responses guys!
I was feeling particularly annoyed last night, as someone who I never would have expected it from made a couple of remarks. I've had chats with this person before and they spoke about their insecurities so I was surprised to hear them attempt to make belittling comments. It would have been all too easy for me to be really cruel but I wouldn't do that. This individual has gone down hugely in my estimation

[Vicar in a tutu]

Originally Posted by dearg lady

Thanks for the responses guys!
I was feeling particularly annoyed last night, as someone who I never would have expected it from made a couple of remarks. I've had chats with this person before and they spoke about their insecurities so I was surprised to hear them attempt to make belittling comments. It would have been all too easy for me to be really cruel but I wouldn't do that. This individual has gone down hugely in my estimation

I know exactly what you mean, I think its down to insecurity mixed with jealousy.. more to be pitied imho.

[UpCork]

I have a friend like this - always making snide or cutting comments. I have known her for years so she knows my faults, failings and insecurities so played on them with her snide comments. In my younger, my naive days, I'd fall for it and answer back. Now I just ignore and continue on with the conversation as if I haven't heard it. It is very confusing for her as she probably wonders why I am not falling for it. Funnily enough, that comments aren't as plentiful since I started responding in this fashion.

[IT-Guy]

Originally Posted by dearg lady

Sooo, just wondering how people deal with snide comments made within a group situation. There's a handful of people I know who make such comments, and they think they're just hilarious. I find it pretty annoying and wouldn't generally choose to spend time in the company of someone who says stuff like this, but sometimes I have to! I usually respond in a very lighthearted way, cos I wouldn't like them to know they've annoyed me. Is there a better way to deal with it?

My nan and mum didn't really get along and nan was known for making snide remarks. An oft-quoted example occurred before I was born (people really don't forget insults!). Sunday afternoon and the in laws were over for dinner, mum was anxious to make a good impression on my nan and pulled out all the stops, went to great effort and cooked up a feast (she's a great cook, nicest sunday roasts with roast potatoes ever...drool). After everyone clearing their plates and complimenting my mum on the food, my nan says "yes, the peas were delicious". Processed peas. From a can.

[Polloloca]

I would choose to ignore them, or throw them the evil eye. If it persisted, I would bluntly ask them "why would you say that?". Its never funny when you have to explain it.

[Giselle]

Originally Posted by Polloloca

I would choose to ignore them, or throw them the evil eye. If it persisted, I would bluntly ask them "why would you say that?". Its never funny when you have to explain it.

If its really persistent or bad I've occasionally looked the perp in the eye and said something like 'I'm sure you didn't mean that to sound as nasty/bitchy/mean-spirited as it did'.

Puts it back on them.

[mfceiling]

One of the best things to do is to say "sorry?"

When they repeat say "sorry?" again.

By this time the whole sting has gone out of it.

If they repeat it for the 3rd time just say "oh right".....it really makes them look like a knob

[Janey_Mac]

Look at them for a few seconds, and say a single, deadpan, "Wow."

Then resume the conversation with the other people there.

If someone you know tends to act like a teenager on their worst behaviour, why should you ignore it? This way it's clear you don't think it's ok to say things like that but you don't engage with them.